Comic Eleanor Morton Short Bit

 This video's been around a bit, but Scottish comic Eleanor Morton does a lot with a little in her Bob Newhart-style take on a woman's first day at work during the French Revolution.

Eleanor Morton

Seven Miles in May

Health and Well-Being

 

 

A perfect morning for running with the temperate in the low 60s and a nice marine layer. I focused on staying relaxed and hydrated. Now I'm done with the seven miles and working to finish the third draft on my running book. Two coaches are standing by to review the manuscript so I'm hurrying it up. (Pausing only to blog.)

And while the book is readable by strangers, more drafts await. I still don't like the last chapter. Anyway, I can start getting feedback now.

Longest Run Since the Marathon

pixelstalk.net

How Long Exactly?

Seven miles, to be precise. I employed a 4x1 run/walk ratio and finished the last mile in 10:38. I passed a runner more elderly than I as we both enjoyed good running weather—around 70 degrees with a light breeze. 

My book is parked between drafts two and three. Many tasks require my attention including setting up a new email site, redesigning my author website, and creating a lead magnet for people signing up for said website.

There's also lining up editorial reviewers, regular reader reviewers, a proof reader and copy editor, designing a back cover for the softcover version and researching audio books. 

Everything takes longer than you think and costs a bit more than your budget. But that's the yoke of self-publishing. 

According to research, non-fiction books don't sell as well in summertime. Since I won't be ready by June, I'm aiming for a Labor Day release. Friday, September 2 is the tenative release date. 

I love the cover design and am excited about putting out the book. More soon.

Criminal Flees the Big Apple

 New York City crime is way out of control. Listen to a bad guy tell it.

Ryan Long

Prostate Cancer: Real Talk Ep. 11

 "Doctor, Doctor give me the news." So said the lyrics of a long-ago song. But the words still ring true today for men. Find out what the Doctor says on the latest episode of the go-to prostate cancer podcast.

Prostate Cancer: Real Talk

Ryan Long on Adhesive Girlfriends

 Some times are simply meant to be guy times.

Ryan Long

Meeting Someone after Fifty Years

They don't teach you how to do this in school. 

My friend Gary and I attended grammar school together in Skokie, Illinois, a northern Chicago suburb. We attended two years of high school at Notre Dame High School in Niles, played football together, then enlisted in the Marines and completed boot camp together.

Then fell out of touch.

A few days ago we met for the first time in 48 years. (Fifty sounds better for a title.)

Body builder and super athlete, Gary had taken a health beating the last ten years. This included a brain embolism with subsequent induced coma and, a few years later, a massive stroke and heart attack. The general outline of Gary remained the same, but his once muscular frame had shrunk.

(Not that I'm any beauty. )

I stayed at his place in Phoenix. We watched the Masters and traded gruesome health tales, talked of our families, and our plans, and, of course, the past. But the key element was that the old days were not the focal point. In other words, our friendship had survived the decades. We were comfortable discussing the present and future. It doesn't always go like that. 

We'd been roughed up by the decades. But, in some ways, we'd never ceased being who we'd been.  

And it's hot in Phoenix. But I already knew that.

From left to right: Gary, myself and two other guys at Camp Pendleton.

Comic Zings Social Media Hawks

Sharp-eyed Ryan Long targets the sudden love of Ukraine

Ryan Long

Falling While Running

I'm good at it. I have the knack. However, not since marathon training last fall have I sustained a tumble. And not since 2019 have I banged myself up so neatly.

Running two miles uphill on asphalt, I elected to tackle a substantial hill along narrow walking trails. Lizards scuttled out of my way. But it didn't take long to note that the trail was covered in scree—small rocks—over more substantial rocks. My shoes were not designed for trail running. Slipping, I scrambled up a 40 degree slope realizing I'd need to return the same way on a surface without much purchase.

Rising up before me was a sixty degree slope. I turned around. 

Too late.

The way back down was like roller skating on plexiglass. You couldn't slow down. At one point, I felt myself accelerating. Seconds away from losing control and landing on rocks, I chose the lessor of two hurtful evils: I feel into the chaparral. The tangled thorny bushes cushioned my fall but left me with the interesting markings displayed below.

No more unknown dirt trails.

Can't really see the scrape too well. It's just above the knee.

Here is a charming bouquet of wounds.

Great White Hate for Canadians

 Comic Ryan Long battles the grim existence of being a white immigrant.

Ryan Long

Alternatives To DuckDuck Go

fineartamerica.com

 Alas, the censoring disease has infected DuckDuck Go.  I liked this search engine for the very fact that they WEREN'T shadow banning, censoring, or down ranking information based on mercurial criteria such as "disinformation." I'm old enough. I can find out news for myself.

 And so I depart. My next port-of-call will probably be Brave. But alternative browser/search engines are available:

Brave https://brave.com/, Startpage https://www.startpage.com/, GIBIRU https://tinyurl.com/ymu4hrwb, Swisscows https://swisscows.com/?culture=en, Bitclave https://www.bitclave.com/, Qwant https://www.qwant.com/, Descrete Search https://www.discretesearch.com/.

For a comprehensive list, try this master site.

Prostate Cancer: Real Talk Ep. 10

 Vitamin D deficiency could be one of the culprits in a higher percentage of black men suffering from prostate cancer. Doctor Adam B. Murphy is currently studying the issue in this edition, hosted by husband/wife team El and Shay.

Prostate Cancer: Real Talk

Are there Homeless in the Metaverse?

Is the future of the Web LA seedy?

Cornerstone Media

Dating Advice From Adolph Hitler

 Out for awhile, this German film is an odd mash-up of Death of Stalin and Network. Hilarious scenes, but ultimately your main character is Hitler.

TelcPflege 2020

A Cheery Poem on Aging and Opportunity Squandered

pinterest

The Tragedy of the Leaves

by Charles Bukowski

I awakened to dryness and the ferns were dead, 

the potted plants yellow as corn; 

my woman was gone 

and the empty bottles like bled corpses 

surrounded me with their uselessness;  

the sun was still good, though,  

and my landlady's note cracked in fine and 

undemanding yellowness; what was needed now 

was a good comedian, ancient style, a jester 

with jokes upon absurd pain; pain is absurd 

because it exists, nothing more; 

I shaved carefully with an old razor 

the man who had once been young and 

said to have genius; but 

that's the tragedy of the leaves, 

the dead ferns, the dead plants; 

and I walked into a dark hall 

where the landlady stood 

execrating and final, 

sending me to hell, 

waving her fat, sweaty arms 

and screaming 

screaming for rent 

because the world had failed us 

both.

Pink Floyd Nagila

From a few years back. At first, I wasn't sure what to expect. Then I was surprised. 

Joel Carillet

Canadian Trucker Limerick

 

goldennews

In Ottawa streets walk brutes,

Quite proud of their nice jackboots,

But while they high-five,

Their wives do connive,

With truckers in carnal pursuits.

Running Book Crosses Finish Line

 

dreamstime.com

At 1:38 PM Pacific Time this fine day I completed the first draft of my marathon book. It falls into the novella category, running 108 pages and almost 40k words. That will change as I slim it down, augment with an appendix explaining various running terms and techniques, and craft front and back matter.

But for all that, the research was assembled and the text written in around three months. That could just be a new record for me. 

So I'll let the book simmer while my subconscious sorts out matters of narrative and style. 

More soon.

Pfizer Rocks!

 Ryan Long sings the praises of a key big phrarma player. 

Ryan Long

Running Book Speeding to Release

And not just any book: mine. Hoping to have an ebook version up by March 25. It's a short, snappy read about my 13-year journey to once more run a marathon. 

Be careful what you wish for.

dreamstime.com

Time for Soylent Green

Watch your diet.

filmonpaper

So Long, PJ O'Rourke

 

Huffington Post

A funny guy, keen wit; I recall him from the old National Lampoon Magazine and Rolling Stone. Rest in humorous pieces.

A Pressing Question re. Trans Men

 Comic Ryan Long explores the fairness of trans men entering female contests.

Ryan Long

A Thought for February 8

 

I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man wearing Crocs.

— Ling Carter

A Thought for February 5

 

Live Science

We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.

 - Albert Einstein

Prostate Cancer Real Talk: Episode 9

 Don't wait until it's too late. Early testing for prostate cancer is a game-changer.

Prostate Cancer: Real Talk

Racist Carrot: Morning Oddness From Salvatore Ganacci

Language warnings for this insight into a surreal corporate world.

Salvatore Ganacci

A Thought for January 31

 

Life is not lost by dying; life is lost minute by minute, day by dragging day, in all the thousand small uncaring ways.

— Stephen Vincent Benet

White Gentrification Fail

Rylan Long shows how realtors can help stop the yogaizing of neighborhoods. 

Ryan Long

Why I Fail at Setting Goals

Cleaning out some old papers, I found my writing goals for 2013. Intense, detailed, with follow-ups. Yet by year's end I'd accomplished only a tiny fraction. Joseph Tan explains why.

Joseph Tan

MCRD 50 Years Later

 

USMC League

MCRD San Diego Back in the Day

Everything must begin somewhere. And in the United States Marine Corps, my enlisted tour commenced with yellow footprints. Drawn on the asphalt of the recruit depot with heels close together and toes angled out to 45 degrees, they are where I, along with seven other guys from our suburban Chicago neighborhood, stood to begin military service. Then we marched somewhere, boxed up our clothes and mailed them home, coming to the realization that our new life would be different from drinking beer behind a bowling alley.

The Vietnam War was winding down, at least for the United States, though the North Vietnamese would launch a huge attack against South Vietnam toward the end of March as we conducted infantry training at Camp Pendlelton. (In September, now a Private First Class, I would find myself in an Army hospital called Camp Kue on Okinawa, sharing  a ward with American advisors who'd been wounded helping the South Vietnamese forces stop the communists.)

In 1991, I visited the footprints on a vacation to San Diego with my girlfriend. (Now My Fine Wife or MFW.)

In 2002, I stood on a hill in Vietnam called Con Thien with a Vietnamese guide who told me about the obliteration of his village by B52s, bombing the NVA advance.

In 2008, I was back at MCRD finishing up a marathon with Team in Training.

But on a Friday night, January 14, 1972, I stood on yellow footprints. Oh, right before we boxed up our clothes, this happened:
(The following scene is rather accurate, except there's no C&W music. Just buzzzzzzz.)

h/t: amp1776

Note 2020:

On this 48th anniversary of my enlistment, I pay my respects to Tom Poto and Steve Lovell, two of my comrades who are no longer with us. RIP, bros. Hard to believe we were once young together.

Note: 2021

Yikes! 49 years ago; one removed from a half-century. I'll write no more on the subject.

Note: 2022

NOW 50 years have passed. I remember being hung over with a shaving cut on my right cheek that bled most of the day. Grisly forshadowing. Ah, well. 
    

Prostate Cancer: Real Talk Episode 8

 Listen to how prostate cancer survivor Jim Schraidt battled from suicidal depression to helping other survivors deal with anger and other mental health issues.   

Prostate Cancer: Real Talk

Notes on Running Goals

womenwholifeweights.com

Busy this morning with my 2021 running recap. Last January, I totaled up my 2020 stats—ran 363 miles, etc,—then totaled the mileage on my various running shoes,* then wrote seven goals for 2021. Here they are:

1. Run consistently with excellent form. 
2. Increase cadence to 170.
3. Postpone Mesa 10k
4. Lose 30 pounds
5. Run a 10k by July
6. Run 10 miles by December
7. Use info in old running log

How did I do?

1. In 2021 I ran 623 miles. I only slacked off post-marathon and due to recent illness. My form—chi running form—wavered in its excellence. As I entered double-digit miles, I would lose focus, run sloppy, and tire myself out. More attention on form this year.
2. By September my feet were hitting the ground 170 times a minute. (I measure with a metronome.) Jogtunes explains why cadence matters to runners.
3. Race officials canceled the 10k because of COVID. I only had to call and cancel my hotel reservation.
4. By marathon week I weighed 220 pounds, down from the 250s in January. 
5. Missed July, but ran a 10k in September. (First since April 2008.)
6. On August 17 I reached the Elmer Smith Bridge, slapped the metal sign, and returned to my starting point at Lot K for another first. 
7. Rattled by the rumbling approach of the marathon, I would leaf through my old notes in an emergency. But just because the info is old doesn't necessarily mean its dated. I've got plenty of data and training tips from my TNT days. All hard-earned. I need to take better advantage of that.

Nothing in 2022?

Stlll calculating as well as checking the calendar. Since I'm already on record as stating I wanted to break 30 minutes in the 5k, consider that goal number one. Goal number two will be to break 5 hours in a marathon. (4:59:59 if you please.) That's a pace of 11:27 a mile. All I need now is select the marathon and work backwards, charting out my training weeks. (Then train properly and not get injured.😎) Let's say five more running goals will be forthcoming.

God willing, I'll update in early 2023.

prischew.com

Now, I need to show the same goal-setting dedication with my writing.

*Like cheap tires, the cushioning of running shoes wears thin after several hundred miles. And, like tires, its best to rotate your shoes during training. Replace as needed. (Or when you can afford a new pair.)

Happy 2022!

 

poetryclub.com

Go joyfully forth in this newest of years. 

On the Eve of a New Year

 

writemag.com

Always a good resolution for writers. I do my share of time-wasting. My problem historically isn't the inability to write. It's lack of finishing power. I'll certainly publish my marathon book, but it's all the tales in the dug out that cry for completion. I shall heed their call in the upcoming year.

Best to you and your dreams in 2022.

Update: Click on the link below the above image and read Nicki Porter's tips on how organizing your time will help you bag those dreams.

Memories Hurt

theconversation.com

Writing a non-fiction ebook about my long journey to once again run a marathon. Fascinating trying to remember back. Time obscures much. I have this blog and my running logs but there's big gaps in other areas as I try to reconstruct the years without boring the crap out of readers. Basically my life revolved around no money, no work, trying to run, and fascinating medical complications. 

I'm depressed just recalling it all. 

Good progress overall. Probably less than a hundred pages. I'm looking to launch early next year.  

Eternal Cold

findatopdoc.com

 This one won't be shaken. I'm into my second week now of sniffling and sneezing. My wife's COVID test returned negative. That means I'm also negative since California is a community property state and we share everything, including pandemic viruses. It's the law.

My main issue is not being able to sleep. Since I have sleep apnea and use a cpap machine to push air into my nostrils, a head cold negates the machine's best effort and I wake up tired, with a dry mouth and a headache just like I did for most of my life.

Not so runny today and I'd like to think it's a sign of better days ahead.

Feel free to think the same thing.

Left and Right Wing Sponsors

 Check out the money behind the message courtesy of comic Ryan Long.

Ryan Long

Chicago Marathon 2007: Too Hot to Handle

Working on my ebook re. a 13-year journey to run a marathon. I happened across this clip from the 2007 Chicago Marathon. A true rendering of events. For the 8:00 AM start, the temperature was 88 degrees with 80 percent humidity. Naturally, the event ran out of water for the runners. Here's my race report chronicling this back-in-the-day sultry event. 

wendysity1

Merry Christmas 2021

wallpaper.com

Seasons greetings to all. Our household is ill this fine Christmas day, but mending rapidly. Best to you and yours on this special day. 

Large Stinking Winter Storm

 

Patabook News

Oh, what a merry time to write. The heating bill is paid, the roof doesn't leak, and we have glass in our windows. In addition, our supply of coffee is ample. Under such conditions, working on my marathon book is a delight. 

What if I lived in Seattle? Under such conditions, I'd be familiar with rainy weather and spend the time web surfing. A pleasant Christmas eve to one and all.

5k Training and Golf Balls

 

ebay

My next goal is to build up speed. I'd like to run 3.1 miles in under 30 minutes as if it were 2010. So striders and other forms of quickness-building exercises join my training regimen. 

I've been stretching out in a new location within sight of the Wilson-Harding Golf Course. It is absolutely golf ball heaven. On Monday I collected seven—a new record. Do I golf? No. Do I give them to golfers? Sometimes. Do I throw them at rude drivers? Not yet. 

There's a site online that offers seventy cents a ball. This could be a nice cottage industry to supplement my golden years. A Merry Christmas to all!   

clipartbest

Motorcyclist Identifies as Bicyclist

 Deep inside, he knew his true identity.

The Babylon Bee

Paul Rugg and Lucky Aid the Elderly

 Lucky the Therapy Dog has passed but his memory remains among the old.

Paul Rugg's Froynlaven

Paul Rugg and I are Hired at Warner Bros. v. 5

And I Have the Memories to Prove It

Today, December 16, marked 27 years since Paul Rugg and I were offered jobs at Warner Brothers TV Animation. We were over at Paul's house watching Zontar: Thing From Venus, drinking coffee, eating chocolate donuts, and smoking. We'd just turned in scripts for some new show called Animaniacs. (Mine was "Draculee, Draculaa.") Paul's wife was off earning money as a social worker, while my future wife was still employed at the magazine I'd quit two months earlier. Rugg and I were performing improv and sketch comedy at the Acme Comedy Theatre. (Along with cast member Adam Carolla.) Money was very tight. The payment for one script would really help out my Christmas. 

Then Kathy Page, Tom Ruegger's assistant, called to offer us staff jobs and the trajectory of our lives veered sharply into an unexplored cosmos.

We were amazed, stunned, numb. Walking outside, we smoked more and talked it over. Should we take the jobs or would they pollute our comedy pureness by turning it commercial? We would accept the work immediately. 

Now it all seems opaque. If it weren't for the Web and talking to Paul Rugg yesterday, I'd swear the whole experience never happened. But I'm glad it did. (Paul, too.)  So thanks to Tom and Sherri Stoner. (And her husband, M.D. Sweeney, our Acme director, who recommended us.)

Note: After thirteen years of blogging, I'm running out of life events to chronicle.

Notes: 2019

A little hyperbole last year. I have plenty of life events and more on the way. Now then, Paul's episode was about a pet shop, I believe. In 1991 I wrote on a Mac Classic. (They look so quaint now, like a fancy radio from 1938.) Jeffrey Dahmer, Silence of the Lambs, Thelma and Louise, the unraveling of the Soviet Union and the number of computers on the newly commercialized Web reached one million.

Not mine, but similar.

Notes: 2020

What a year! (Wednesday will be 29 years, but close enough.) Pandemics, riots, politics. It's like 1968 on crystal meth. What's new? Well. You can now obtain the Top 5 Dating Tips of H.P. Lovecraft. Yes, that weird horror guy. For details, go to this nifty spot. 

Notes: 2021

NOW it's 30 years. After three decades, events merge together into a clot of time. But I'll never forget that day. A life-changer. 

Book Review: Paths of Glory

 

Paths of Glory by Humphrey Cobb
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Author Humphrey Cobb knew his subject matter. Wounded while serving with the Canadian Army in World War I, his tale of a vain general, a failed attack, an unjust trial and the fate of three soldiers was compelling enough for filmmaker Stanley Kubrick to adapt into his classic film Paths of Glory.

Fast and compelling, Cobb's book captures the brutality and carnage of the Western Front as well as the army's indifference and passive obedience that allows the perpetuation of a cruel injustice.

Under three hundred pages, the book is told from multiple points of view, with grim details of trench warfare and the doomed outlook of the soldiers underscoring a dark tale of military injustice and the reduction of men to chips in a vast rigged game.

View all my reviews

Book Review: The Afghanistan Papers

 

The Afghanistan Papers: A Secret History of the War by Craig Whitlock
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

It seems everyone in the government wants to chat about their work as long as they aren't on the record. Thanks to a pair of lawsuits by the Washington Post we now have insight into 0fficial thinking by politicians, generals, and assorted bureaucrats on America's longest conflict. It is maddening.

Former Ambassador Richard Boucher: "First we went in to get al-Qaida and to get al-Qaeda out of Afghanistan . . .we did that. The Taliban was shooting back at us so we started shooting at them . . . . Ultimately, we kept expanding the mission."

Army General Dan McNeil "quickly judged that the United States and NATO didn't have a coherent war strategy."

"U.S. and NATO officials belatedly recognized that drug-related corruption was . . . threatening to turn Afghanistan into . . . a 'narco-state.'"

[General} McKiernan had violated an unspoken rule . . . he did not deceive the public with specious language . . ."

McKiernan was fired in 2009 for telling the truth and the lesson was not lost on later generals. Happy talk or face retirement.

And on it goes. Two generations of government officials lied and dissembled. And only McKiernan lost his job. (General McCrystal was fired for making fun of civilian officials such as Joe Biden.)

Author Whitlock published the book before the chaos of our departure. He mentions President Biden visiting Arlington National Cemetery, Section 60, where the dead of Iraq and Afghanistan are buried. ". . . he [the President] gazed into the distance, surveying row upon row of white marble gravestones. 'Hard to believe," he murmured. 'Look at them all.'"

A little later he added thirteen more.

View all my reviews

FakeMask USA

 Unfogged Glasses?

Yes, indeed. Thanks to FakeMask USA you can purchase a mesh mask allowing one to wear spectacles, see clearly, and conform to various pandemic theatre mandates. I eagerly await this fine product.

Greta Climate Scold Doll

 Order now while supplies last!

The Babylon Bee

Prostate Cancer Real Talk Episode 7

 Cancer survivor and support leader Clarence Williamson discusses the importance of regular check-ups and the value of men helping other men in their fight against this wide-spread disease.

Prostate Cancer Real Talk