When Dinosaurs Ruled the Stage

 

Flashback Fun 

 

GRACE Ballet

Microfiction: Post-Op Blues

Pinterest

After surgery, few of my friends visit. I can understand why. I'm no longer a good conversationalist. My thoughts are now occupied with peanut butter and living inside the wall and munching wiring. I've already shorted out the toaster with my munching and my wife, who is given to long sad looks, responded with a crisp scolding. 

The doctors call constantly. Or, I should say, their assistants call and ask when I'll return for the rest of the procedure. My wife ferries a cell phone to me outside in the yard, as I now spend hours concealed in the ivy.  

In a high-pitched rapid voice, I inform the doctor's assistants that I feel used, a pawn of the health insurance agencies, since my post-op treatments will require decades of expensive medications and operations. All the pre-op love bombs and encouragement I received from TikTok are meaningless now.

My wife grows distant. She spends hours in the garage watching YouTube videos, then building something long and wooden with steel coils and a large metal bar. 

I can't be tricked. I'm more cunning than ever. But if peanut butter is placed on this device, I'll go it.

Crazy Wrong Number Ends in Vintage Kubrick

 The following was presented to me free of charge by an unknown woman, engulfed with anger and frustration. After wrapping the audio in video, I present the finished product here for your consideration.

  

Jest Videos

Epic Gift-Wrapping Fail

 Not everything goes smoothly over the holiday season. A smple gift-wrapping can turn into a chore if approached with the wrong mindset.

John P. McCann Channel

How Cool is Jennifer's Mom?

On a visit to the public library, this kid was roaming the stacks, pouring out his life to someone. Basically, he's a PSA for negligent parenting.

John P. McCann Channel

Fun with ChatGPT: Hemingway Writes a Diaper Ad

 

nationaldefensemagazine.org

Since writing is on the verge of being replaced by Artificial Intelligence, I thought I'd have a little fun with the hot new thing: ChatGPT.

I asked ChatGPT if it would write a diaper ad in the style of Ernest Hemingway. I received two options.

"The soft, absorbent cloth. A small shield against the constant tide of youth. A simple thing, yet essential. Trust in our diapers, as dependable as the sunrise."

OR

"In the chaos of new parenthood, there is one constant: dirty diapers. But with our diapers, you can face each change with the stoic, reliable protection they provide."

I feel like a 56 bpm modem.

Racist Carrot: Morning Oddness From Salvatore Ganacci

Language warnings for this insight into a surreal corporate world.

Salvatore Ganacci

Motorcyclist Identifies as Bicyclist

 Deep inside, he knew his true identity.

The Babylon Bee

So Long, Norm Macdonald

 This guy made me laugh. I'm sorry to see him go so soon. Below is a clip from a longer piece on how Norm would approach the job of being a serial killer.

CureofQuarantine