Run China and Die

 

voxpolitical

Okay, three running posts in a row. You'd swear it was 2007 again. I'm nowhere near a marathon in China or America. Today I ran a pleasant 2.5 miles, experimented with 2x1 run/walks, and didn't keep overall time. This is my step-down week and I intend to rest. Weather conditions were sunny, in the high 70s.

Meanwhile at an ultramarathon in northwest China:

Survivors gave shocking testimony of events on the rugged mountainside, where unconfirmed meteorological reports to local media said temperatures had plunged to as low as minus 24 degrees Celsius. [-11.2 Fahrenheit]

Recalled one surviving runner:

"My limbs were frozen stiff and I felt like I was slowly losing control of my body. . . I wrapped my insulation blanket around me, took out my GPS tracker, pressed the SOS button and lost consciousness."

He said when he came round he discovered a shepherd had carried him to a cave, placed him by the fire and wrapped him in a duvet. [A form of bedding.]

Read more here.

The article didn't state if the deceased runners had their organ harvested. Perhaps a later edition will update us on this robust custom. Of course, being dead prior to the harvesting leeches some of the fun from this Chi Com practice. 

A Midwestern Running Day

Astounding. Two running posts in a row. High 60s today with cloudy skies and a light breeze. Very similar to the Illinois of my youth. A splendid day to run four miles. My last mile lagged a bit as I didn't press to finish, but, otherwise, I'm pleased with my performance. Next week features EZ running, no timing, just a trio of short fun runs. Then back to training for my 5k at the beginning of July. 

The Heavens Align for a Good Run

weekendletter.com

 

Well, perhaps nothing that grand. 

But I ran four miles today, dashing out early to take advantage of the marine layer over the LA basin. As I was working my way into mile four, out popped Mr. Sun. I finished up before the temperature rose another ten degress. 

Two things to remember from todays effort:

1. I did not want to run this morning and considered putting it off another day.

2. I did not want to run on pace. 

3. Now I'm quite pleased that I ran and. especially. pleased that I stayed on pace.

How odd, the human mind. Mine seems to want to do just enough to get by, whether in exercise, writing, finance, my relationships. Sometimes not even enough to slide along. As I mentioned last month, I need to plan my actions, execute my plans and adjust as I go, always with a goal in mind. Otherwise, the default is ambling through life waiting for the end. 

Here's an intriguing short video on dealing with stress and achieving goals. 

Productivity Game

Total Equality For Women Includes Crab Fishing

 

Ryan Long and Co. point out the yawning gaps in gender equity.

Ryan Long

Les Grossman Meet Hans Gruber

 

Funny or Die ponders the outcome of negotiations between Tropic Thunder's profanity-rich studio boss and the creepy terrorist from the first Die Hard. 

Funny or Die

Lockdowns Rock!!

Comic Ryan Long and company examine the inert lifestyle.

Ryan Long

Book Review: Kill Zone

 

Kill Zone by Damir Salkovic
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

A dystopian feast, Salkovic's world mixes the techno jargon of William Gibson's cyberpunk with the surreal blend of entertainment and violence found in books such as The Running Man and The Hunger Games.

When the system upends Frank Clayton's life, he signs up to appear in a brutal reality show where survival and ratings closely intertwine. But a series of events points Clayton down a road to revenge against the indifferent corporate forces that destroyed his family.

Salkovic excels at description. He handles action well. However at several points the pacing seemed slowed by both action and description, braking the story's forward motion. Nevertheless, for the most part, the narrative moves rapidly, immersing the reader in one man's struggle for justice in a savage dog-eat-dog world.

An excellent pick for lovers of the dystopian genre as well as military sci-fi.

View all my reviews

Paul Rugg Explains the Art of Puppetry

In under a minutes, Jim Henson puppeteer Paul Rugg unveils the secrets of his craft. 

Paul Rugg's Froynlaven

Mental Toughness Practical Applications

 

bobandrosemary.com

If I lost anything since the twin deaths of animation writing and marathon running, it was a certain hardy mental attitude. When combined with chasing little dopamine hits on the Internet, the decay has proved devastating. Over the last thirteen years, my unfinished writing projects have multiplied while my weight has ballooned. At one point I went over a year writing folders of prose without completing so much as a short story. During the same period, my weight topped out at 271 lbs with a svelte 48" waist. 

Mental toughness was easy to see in exercise. Pain and discomfort are present. To push past them requires effort. I would allow myself to quit after five seconds of such effort. I usually lasted longer. Gradually, I acclimated to stressing myself. Pushing hard on certain workouts became the norm. The payoff was on race days.

In writing, mental toughness exhibits itself every day in a series of little nos. No to checking email, or social media, or watching one short YouTube skateboard fail. No to stopping early or quitting a project to begin a new one or hating everything you've written. Perhaps no is not the word. Perhaps its the phrase "maybe later."

As in exercise, the ability to apply the phrase can be built gradually. "Let me write one more sentence." "I'll first reach the end of the chapter." "This isn't too bad. I'll keep going a little longer."

Sadly the Internet trims your attention span and flushes out new knowledge with newer knowledge or, worse, trivia, ensuring that nothing stays in your head long enough to become wisdom. As I train for a 5k in July, I decided to reacquire mental toughness. If in running, then why not in writing?

Here's a book I used to help prepare me mentally for the 2007 Phoenix Marathon. It's so old, there's not even a Kindle version. But I'm returning to its pages for inspiration and techniques to help me grow as a runner and a writer.

Five seconds here, a maybe later there. It adds up like compound interest.

What's the Difference Between Panic-PTSD-and Combat Fatigue?

 

Journey of a Prophetic Feeler

No, it's not the setup for a joke. But writers might want to know the difference. Author Caroline Furlong lays out the markers in an info-packed blog post. Furlong points out how the ignorant often conflate this trio of afflictions. 

How So?

". . . no combat veteran is a ticking time bomb waiting to go off. Those improvised devices waiting to explode are warped human beings that have chosen their paths and who are seldom veterans. The popular press/media paints with as broad a pop-psychology pastel brush as possible in this matter so as to demean, depress, and indict all those who have served in the nation's armed forces. Combat Fatigue, meanwhile, is almost entirely ignored, by both authors and the media and their pet psycho-babblers."

Learn more about these distinctions with a difference at Furlong's blog A Song of Joy.

Godzilla vs. King Kong Pitch Meeting

 Courtesy of comic Ryan George over at Screen Rant.  SPOILER ALERT in case you wish to be among the dozens eager to witness this CGI fest. Keep a careful eye out for plot holes.

Happy Easter 2021!

 Early dinner today with my wife and mother-in-law. And a fine sunny day it is, too. 

theskitguys

A Solemn Holy Day

 

Ementra

Antifa Profits Off Mayhem

 Another week, another gem by comic Ryan Long as he smashes the idea known as antifa.

Ryan Long

New Hallow Mass eBook Edition in Pre-Order

frontporch.club

No, the starburst is not the new cover. But it is an arresting image.

Here. This is it.

Abridged, lean, fit and with new cover art that is not a starburst, Hallow Mass.2 rolls out in two weeks—or April 9 if you prefer. This remodel is in preparation for the second volume Hell War, due out this fall. 

Hallow Mass edition two—ebook only— preorder is available via literary aggregator site Draft2Digital at Barnes & Noble Nook, Rakuten Kobo, Apple and more. Additional markets will become available as April 9 approaches.

What about Stinking Amazon? 

The colossus sets its own rules. Should you wish to preorder, as I've done in the past, then you must sign up for their Kindle program. You will then be exclusive to the behemoth for the next ninety days. Good preorder success has been mine in the past, but I'm open to testing new waters. For no other reason that it allows me a small rebellion against Amazon's monopoly stranglehold on books.

That said, the paperback edition and ebook will be out on Amazon come April 9.

New paperback cover; due to launch on Amazon April 9.

What is the Difference Between an Edition and a Volume?

Glad I typed that. Bob B. at Yahoo! Answers crushes the question.

"Some publications cannot be fitted into a single book or journal, so they split it across multiple volumes.

Also, sometimes a given publication is revised/updated and re-published, in which case the re-published version is a "new edition".

You savvy, G.I.?

Should you wish to avoid reading a future promotional blog post, go here for advance knowledge of my next ebook release via Draft2Digital. 

Ryan Long Finds Canceling People is the Best Medicine

Or so some folk think. Trust the science. 

Ryan Long

Greta Thunberg vs. Darth Vadar

It was inevitable. One day they would have to meet.  

Casciari

Prostate Cancer, Real Talk Coming Soon!

 

Punnett's Square

A new podcast centered around prostate cancer treatment and recovery will soon debut. Thanks to Elverage (El) Alen and his wife Shay, the above-named podcast will waft out across the ether quite soon. El and Shay were gracious enough to interview me re. my prostate cancer book with our talk ranging from diagnosis to surgery to post-op complications. A fun time with a couple who understand the difficulties awaiting men facing this disease. (As a note: African-American men are 50% more likely to be diagnosed with prostate cancer.) So all guys over 50, get a blood test and check your PSA. (Over 4 means pay attention.)

I'll have a link to the interview and more information up soon on Prostate Cancer, Real Talk.  

Ryan Long Trolls Therapy

 Don't worry about lock-downs and life. You're free of blame!

Ryan Long

Book Review: Furious Hours: Murder, Fraud, and The Last Trial of Harper Lee

 

Furious Hours: Murder, Fraud, and the Last Trial of Harper Lee by Casey Cep
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

A man stands accused of murdering a suspected serial killer before over 300 witnesses. His charming attorney often defended the deceased. Now he defends the killer. A famous author is present in the Alabama courtroom, observing the trial. She researches material for a new book. On such a premise rests Casey Cep's non-fiction tale.

Back in the 1960s-70s, the Reverend Willie Maxwell was a big believer in insurance. He took out policies on his wives, relatives, and neighbors. The fast-spending Reverend was also the beneficiary. A gruesome pattern ensued in which the newly insured perished in ways most suspicious while Reverend Maxwell collected the settlements. Attempts to bring him to justice always foundered on the rock of Tom Radney.

A liberal Kennedy-loving lawyer in a Wallace-loving state Radney was a "Casanova of the court room . . . His juries might not have always liked his clients, but they sure liked him." Known as "Big Tom, Radney frequently defended the Reverend Maxwell.

Until the Reverend's death by gunfire at the funeral of one of his victims. At that point Big Tom took up the case of murder suspect Robert Burns.

Divided into three parts, the book focuses on Maxwell, Radney, Harper Lee. Sadly, this fusion of southern justice and the debilitating perfectionism of a famous author blends less well on the page than in the title. The fascinating trial was a short book in itself, with Harper Lee's presence providing an interesting footnote. Without weaving Lee's literary struggles into the trial narrative, her section reads more like a biography than a part of a whole.

Still, the malevolent Reverend and the courtroom antics of Radney are worth the read.

View all my reviews

Comparing a Proofread to a Copy Edit

Amazon

My eyes ache from this task. I published Hallow Mass in 2016. Having since excised around 4K words, I commissioned a new proofread and a copyedit. Typos were still found. Hopefully, this tidy version with hot new cover art will set the stage for Volume 2. I hope to promo soon and release mid-summer. Other than that, life fortunately continues. I'm grateful.

Author JP Mac After Writing All Day

 Sad, but true. After five or six pages, the steel balls are never far from my grasp.

GroupAACSCLW5510

Self-Publishing, Magical Realism, and the Slippery Slope

crownofcompassion

I wanted so little: a new cover for my horror novel, Hallow Mass. But then I needed a page count for the cover artist. That led me to glance over the manuscript and notice several errors. This led to a brief rewrite which, in turn, led to a longer rewrite, which resulted in my cutting over 4k words. 

This, then, led to my sending the manuscript out to a proofreader. In the meantime, I've acquired the new ebook cover from the artist who is holding onto the paperback cover until I present a final page count. In the meantime, I attemptted to format the paperback interior myself. Several days were eaten up as one step forward often led to three steps backwards and one hop to the side.

Great work by the proofreader, but my production manager—also my wife—rarely sees a free moment these days from her technical writing job. Unable to do the task herself, she suggested a copywriter to supply the manuscript with a high-gloss finish. 

So I offered the job on Reedsy to five of their curated editors. So far, one passed and another wanted twice as much as I could afford. Meanwhile, I've contacted a company in Australia for the formatting. Great price, but I need the copywriting completed first, as well as adding ISBNs, before I can receive the final pdfs. 

Bowker, which handles American ISBNs, presents one with an unforgiving interface. I checked a box by mistake, couldn't undo it, and must now call Bowker and seek their help.

My to-do list now looks like a rough draft for the Peace of Westphalia. And all I desired was a new cover.

Next time, I'll desire differently. 

The Church of the Woke

Ryan Long once again as he harvests the low-hanging comedic fruit. Everyone else is so frightened, that Long shares the orchard with no one.

Ryan Long

Death Honk Promotion at Reedsy

Snappy ebook/paperback

 Oh?

Yes. Tomorrow, or as many have taken to calling it, Friday, Feb. 5 @ReedsyDiscovery promotes my collection of nine short stories ranging from crime to the strange and eerie. Stop by Reedsy and view this personally pleasing promotion and avail yourself of a copy or two. More, if you wish, no one will chide you.

Ryan Long Sings His Lock-Down Songs

 Ballads to while away your shut-in hours. 

Ryan Long

New Hallow Mass Cover

Amazon

 How New Is This Cover You Speak Of?

Quite new. For now, I present only the ebook version. But the paperback cover awaits the formatting of a manuscript I like to call Edition Two. 

I've trimmed about 4k words from the 2016 book and think it reads considerably quicker. 

Why Go To All This Trouble?

Excellent point. As of today, I'm writing the second volume of a trilogy. I hope to have it up in ebook and paperback by June. Afterwards, I intend to dash off the third volume. That should see the light of day by Christmas. Ambitious? Well, I'm nothing if not that. 

In any case, I desired a uniform look for the covers. Progress continues. 

Running Once Again

 

dailyencouragement

Back in November, I really hurt my knees. Overtaining and incorrect running form combined to knock me onto the couch for two months. Last week, I was able to slowly run three times. Humbling. And not like I haven't been here before. Naturally, my weight ballooned thanks to a combination of relentless work load and no exercise. 

Lost ground must be recovered gradually or I repeat the whole discouraging process once again. 

USMC and the Yellow Footprints

USMC League

MCRD San Diego Back in the Day

Everything must begin somewhere. And in the United States Marine Corps, my enlisted tour commenced with yellow footprints. Drawn on the asphalt of the recruit depot with heels close together and toes angled out to 45 degrees, they are where I, along with seven other guys from our suburban Chicago neighborhood, stood to begin military service. Then we marched somewhere, boxed up our clothes and mailed them home, coming to the realization that our new life would be different from drinking beer behind a bowling alley.

The Vietnam War was winding down, at least for the United States, though the North Vietnamese would launch a huge attack against South Vietnam toward the end of March as we conducted infantry training at Camp Pendlelton. (In September, now a Private First Class, I would find myself in an Army hospital called Camp Kue on Okinawa, sharing  a ward with American advisors who'd been wounded helping the South Vietnamese forces stop the communists.)

In 1991, I visited the footprints on a vacation to San Diego with my girlfriend. (Now My Fine Wife or MFW.)

In 2002, I stood on a hill in Vietnam called Con Thien with a Vietnamese guide who told me about the obliteration of his village by B52s, bombing the NVA advance.

In 2008, I was back at MCRD finishing up a marathon with Team in Training.

But on a Friday night, January 14, 1972, I stood on yellow footprints. Oh, right before we boxed up our clothes, this happened:
(The following scene is rather accurate, except there's no C&W music. Just buzzzzzzz.)

h/t: amp1776

Note 2020:

On this 48th anniversary of my enlistment, I pay my respects to Tom Poto and Steve Lovell, two of my comrades who are no longer with us. RIP, bros. Hard to believe we were once young together.

Note: 2021

Yikes! 49 years ago; one removed from a half-century. I'll write no more on the subject.
    

The Miskatonic Review Examines "Dagon and Jill"

 What the Deuce Was Said?

A great many things in a very thorough examination of the lead-off short story in my new anthology, Death Honk. So you know, The Miskatonic Review is a site dedicated to "lovecraftian story reviews from the Bibliothecar" (or librarian, if you insist.) My tale involves the business dealings between a sinister warlock from the haunted village of Dunwich, Massachusetts and a naive Los Angeles publisher. 

 The Bibliothecar opens the hood and shows the wiring. My favorite line was:

"I can't say it ["Dagon and Jill"] will be for everyone, as Lovecraftian stories are pretty niche to begin with before approaching Lovecraftian humor . . . ."

(Though the story has brought smiles to non-Lovecraftians.)

Read the whole thing.

Meeting Dagon

MeWe Makes Me Giddy

In a good, wholesome way. (After years working in magazine publishing, I still can't pass on alliteration.) Nevertheless, back in November, I wrote that Facebook sucked. It does. I still have no idea when I'll be able to access my Author Page. Sporadic. Inconsistent. Eternal redirect. 

What Will This Man Do?

It's done. I've opened an account on MeWe. They have Author Pages, too. I messed around for awhile today and it found the experience pleasant. Visit me at my page. Make me a friend or chum or contact. I've yet to learn the MeWe lingo, but would very much like to master same. More t/k in this new Year of Our Lord 2021. 

Tough Guy Israeli Robot

"Dad, I'm being bullied at school."

"Son, your old pop might just have the answer."

My friend Ken sent me this amazing footage. Look for a model soon on Amazon.

 

Anti Digital Heroin Hacks

StudyBreaks.co

Some people consider web surfing an Internet treat and not a horrid, greasy bug eating your time with knife and fork. I just spent yesterday off-line and feel particularly virtuous right now. 

THREE THINGS THAT WILL DAMPEN YOUR WEB SURFING

1. Clear your cookies at night. 

2. Erase your history. 

3. Pick a day of the week to shut off the computer.

"Can't do it."

"Impossible."

"Why?"

From my review of Nicholas Carr's The Shallows: "Neither luddite nor scold, Carr reasons calmly that our technologies are changing us to better adapt to their nature."

Cell phones, surely, are fine.

I reviewed Tomas Kersting's  book Disconnected where he noted that excessive screen time erodes focus, increases anxiety, and leads to social retardation.

Yesterday, I read a book old school style, sitting in a chair holding a physical object, giving my eyes and my focus time away from staring at a screen. (This after five weeks of publishing ebooks and paperbacks where I did nothing but lock eyes on a screen for hours each day.) It felt delightful.

I also recommend viewing a documentary called The Social Dilemma, in which web pioneers explain how their good intentions and technological developments led to web consumer becoming the product.  

Experiment at limiting your on-line time, if so inclined. Let me know the results.  

Thoughts on My 2020

A Land Remembered Journal

2020: I thought last year's post below was pretty comprehensive. Sadly, running—and weight loss—didn't pan out as I'd hoped. Back in November I injured my knees by forgetting everything I knew about chi running and attempting to "boost" my locomotion with extra force. And I'd been doing so well. In October I ran 48 miles for the month—the most since February—including 5 and 6 mile days. I had recovered from my spring Chinese Covid slump enough to enter a Virtual Challenge and was crushing it. Plus my wife and I were signed up for a 10k in Mesa, Arizona slated for February 2021. (We're going to Mesa anyway, just not to run.)

Self-inflicted running injuries are the absolute worst. No one to blame but yourself and I HATE blaming myself.

As for writing, it blossomed as in former days. I finished several short stories, including a whopping 12k word job. Sending them out wasn't resulting in sales, though the rejections were generally polite. So I assembled this year's crop along with stories dating back to 2009 and published the lot—all nine—in ebook form. Death Honk is out now on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Apple, Kobo, and more. The paperbacks will arrive in January. This is the first fiction book I've published since 2016. I bask in such warm accomplishments.

But writing is only a fraction of the battle for the indie author.

Unlike previous book launches, I obtained a few reviews in advance. Also, unlike previous launches, I bit off a good chunk more than I could chew. By attempting ebook and softcover launches on Amazon and Draft2Digital, I found each platform operates with different rules. So four sets of formatting required attention, eating up time with an appetite most voracious. Because my wife and her vast publishing experience were unavailable—I never interrupt her paying work—I was forced to hunt in the freelance veldt. The woman who proof read Death Honk was outstanding. The man who formatted the print version less so. As mentioned elsewhere, the cover designer rocked. 

No audio version for prostate, but I think that line has been jumped by Death Honk. We shall see how 2021 shapes up. I'd like publish a second edition of Hallow Mass with a new cover, add it to Draft2Digital, then write the second volume. Plan meet life. And for the second time in a paragraph I'll say: we shall see. 

This November marked fifteen years of blogging. Over 2k posts with entries topping 100 for the first time since 2012. Not that my traffic is that hot. But inconsistency carries a cost. I've really come to loath social media. (Do watch The Social Dilemma.) But I should examine which platform provides the most pop sales-wise for an author's effort. 

Canva proved a useful took in developing my own promotional materials. Even a digital butter fingers such as myself was able to figure it out. I highly recommend the website.

I end 2020 in reasonably good health, awash in efforts to publish two separate paperback versions of my anthology and eager to see what the future holds. 

And a Happy New Year to you!

The Express

Ryan Long Slags On Corporate Advertising

 As 2020 drags to a close, a little fun at corporate expense courtesy of comic Ryan Long. 

Ryan Long

A Matter of Credit

 The collage banner atop the page includes:

1. Photo of a man's head and eyes by Gage Walker on Unsplash

2. Big fish swimming to lens by Jen Theodore on Unsplash

3. Whites of the eyes boy by Jakayla Toney on Unsplash

4. Man with bandaged head by Armin Lotfi on Unsplash

5. Black man in shadow by Joel Mwakasege on Unsplash

6. Doll head by Tomasz Sroka on Unsplash

7. Devil Clown by Robert Zunikoff on Unsplash

8. Whites of the eyes woman by Alex Iby on Unsplash

9. Winged skull face by Donovan Reeves on Unsplash

10. Woman's hand on textile by Shane on Unsplash

11. Open-mouth man by Photo Boards on Unsplash

12. Woman screaming by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.

Assembled using Canva. 

Death Honk Launches on Draft2Digital

 

theimaginativeconservative

Pre-order is ended; pay full price. Not much. A buck more. But if you fancy shopping at Barnes & Noble, Apple, Kobo, or any store not named Amazon, then now is your opportunity to pounce upon a fine collection of creepy short stories. 

My day will be filled with imploring various individuals to review the book. Like moving from one apartment to another, you must ask three or four times as many people to get one. Such are the days of an indie author.

Merry Christmas 2020!

A Spiritual Christmas

Peace on Earth, Goodwill Towards Men 

Not a very modern subhead, but heartfelt. God bless one and all this fine day. 

Death Honk Short Horror Story Collection Now Live

 Murder! Mystery! Mayhem!

Sooner than I thought and just in time for Christmas, Death Honk launches on Amazon. This nine story anthology of dark and ominous doings, revenge, stupid brutality, transformation and justice awaits purchase and perusal. Still discounted over at Barnes & Noble, Apple, and other nice stores.

The paperback version advances with governmental torpor. The man formatting it lives in Pakistan. The cover artist can do no more until Pakistan delivers up the finished version and I have a page count. But these are small guppy-sized problems. 

May your days be merry and bright!

Now Lurking on Amazon!

Matt McAvoy Reviews Death Honk Short Story Collection

Discount Pre-Order Now!

"Mac is a fine writer, with a tremendously twisted sense of justice, injustice and just desserts." —Matt McAvoy

Take a peek over at author Matt McAvoy's blog as he reviews Death Honk. My collection of mostly short horror stories—with a bit of crime thrown in for ballast—launches December 26 on Amazon, Apple, Barnes and Noble and other ebook emporiums. Discounted now in pre-order, the book's paperback versions are slated to release January 5. 

And if the mood strikes you, join my email acquisition effort and receive the Top 5 Dating Tips of H.P. Lovecraft. He was different, he was odd, he was a New England chick magnet. Stay plugged in as I labor away on volume two of my Hallow Mass trilogy. 

So many important things to mention, all involving myself and my writing. Now I'm tired, but must edit the formatted docx. for the Amazon paperback. Then rewrite the back cover author bio. Then update all the metadata on Amazon and Draft2Digital. 

Stay safe in this Chinese Covid madness. Today is the shortest day of the year. Tell a friend!

Top 5 Dating Tips of H.P. Lovecraft

The Booty King

The Creepy Horror Writer? 

Yes, the very same. Now, for the first time ever, you may obtain a free pdf listing the smoking hot insight and moves that makes the name "Lovecraft" synonymous with "chick magnet."

All it will cost is your email. A small price to pay for the carnal knowledge nuggets awaiting you from the author of "The Call of Cthulhu," "The Dunwich Horror" and other eerie tales. 

Yes, I Want! Do I Proceed by the Light of a Gibbous Moon?

Fortunately, the Internet is not on a lunar cycle so it's easier than that. Faster, too. In fact, snagging these free steamy hacks is simpler than finding a poet in a madhouse. Click over to this site—landing page, actually—then click a big button. (Mind your spam folder.) You're in the pipeline, not just for H.P., but also for intelligence such as this:

Book Cover Design Services

DEATH HONK LAUNCHES!

My dark fantasy collection of stories written over the last decade—some of you have sampled the selection—is now available in ebook form over on Apple, Barnes & Noble's Nook, Kobo—for my English-speaking friends in other lands—and Angus and Roberston, serving the reading needs of Down Under for any number of years. And more markets are inbound!

Stories of fright, crime, retribution, poetic justice, idiocy in high places, are on discount pre-order this very moment up to the official launch date of December 26. Then add a buck. 

Death Honk, in sturdy ebook format, will be on sale December 26 at Amazon. (I could've preordered on Amazon via Kindle Direct Publishing, but then my book is exclusive to the Amazon colossus for three months. Since they only control 90% of the book market, they can do that. In my small way, I have objected.)

Softcover versions should be out shortly in early January. 

Brandi Doane McCann—oddly enough, not a relative—designed the cover art. Visit her site over at Book Cover Design Services. Scroll down and admire Death Honk amidst the other fine cover art. Brother and sister writers, you could do much worse than allowing Brandi to design your cover. 

And with that, I bid you a healthy and happy fifteenth day of December. God speed on your many tasks and obligations.

Paul Rugg and I are Hired at Warner Bros. v. 4

 

And I Have the Memories to Prove It

Today, December 16, marked 27 years since Paul Rugg and I were offered jobs at Warner Brothers TV Animation. We were over at Paul's house watching Zontar: Thing From Venus, drinking coffee, eating chocolate donuts, and smoking. We'd just turned in scripts for some new show called Animaniacs. (Mine was "Draculee, Draculaa.") Paul's wife was off earning money as a social worker, while my future wife was still employed at the magazine I'd quit two months earlier. Rugg and I were performing improv and sketch comedy at the Acme Comedy Theatre. (Along with cast member Adam Carolla.) Money was very tight. The payment for one script would really help out my Christmas. 

Then Kathy Page, Tom Ruegger's assistant, called to offer us staff jobs and the trajectory of our lives veered sharply into an unexplored cosmos.

We were amazed, stunned, numb. Walking outside, we smoked more and talked it over. Should we take the jobs or would they pollute our comedy pureness by turning it commercial? We would accept the work immediately. 

Now it all seems opaque. If it weren't for the Web and talking to Paul Rugg yesterday, I'd swear the whole experience never happened. But I'm glad it did. (Paul, too.)  So thanks to Tom and Sherri Stoner. (And her husband, M.D. Sweeney, our Acme director, who recommended us.)

Note: After thirteen years of blogging, I'm running out of life events to chronicle.

Notes: 2019

A little hyperbole last year. I have plenty of life events and more on the way. Now then, Paul's episode was about a pet shop, I believe. In 1991 I wrote on a Mac Classic. (They look so quaint now, like a fancy radio from 1938.) Jeffrey Dahmer, Silence of the Lambs, Thelma and Louise, the unraveling of the Soviet Union and the number of computers on the newly commercialized Web reached one million.

Not mine, but similar.

Notes: 2020

What a year! (Wednesday will be 29 years, but close enough.) Pandemics, riots, politics. It's like 1968 on crystal meth. What's new? Well. You can now obtain the Top 5 Dating Tips of H.P. Lovecraft. Yes, that weird horror guy. For details, go to this nifty spot. 

Famous People Born on My Birthday v. 6

What is different today from 2018, the last year I asked that rhetorical question? last year? Other than the Chinese COVID virus, riots, shut-downs, controversial elections? Well, my health is hanging in there. Facebook and I don't get along very well anymore. 

And I'm preparing to publish a collection of short horror stories due out December 26 in ebook form on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Apple, Kobo and more. I've got a dandy cover and just need an editorial review to ignite the soft cover publication. (Click here to leave your email and I'll let you know the when's and where's.)

These people were also born on December 5th. Mostly giddy-looking young people , how many have you heard of? Here's a more mature list. A fine weekend to all!

Thank you very much to all who have, so far, wished me Happy Birthday. In thinking of this day, I am reminded of several famous Americans who share my date of birth. I will list three and examine their accomplishments as compared to mine.

1. Martin Van Buren - b. Dec. 5, 1782

2. George Armstrong Custer - b. Dec. 5, 1839

3. Walt Disney - b. Dec. 5, 1901

4. John P. McCann - b. Dec. 5, 1952

1. Martin Van Buren succeeded greatly in becoming the 8th President of the United States but was hardly remembered even in his own day. He had a large bull frog stuffed and used as an ink well in the White House. However President Taft later sat on it by accident and they had to throw the thing out. That's about it.

2. George Armstrong Custer succeeded greatly as a soldier in the Civil War but had a mixed record fighting Indians. (1-1-2, I think.) He is best remembered for his  spectacular fail at the Battle of the  Little Big Horn. At first, everything was going well; then it all fell apart under an Indian tsunami. In later years, Custer had a park named after him as well as a monument and a movie where his part was played by Errol Flynn. That's a whole lot more than Van Buren ever got.

3. Walt Disney succeeded greatly in animation, a pioneer in the field, creator of iconic characters—but not the word 'iconic' which has been seized upon by junior execs.—established Disney studios and Disneyland and is fondly remembered to this day. Nonetheless his body is frozen in a vault beneath Disney's Burbank lot and should Walt be reanimated and start making decisions again it could effect his legacy.

4. John P. McCann was greatly successful as a Hollywood atmosphere player. McCann was the ship-board stand-in for a Canadian actor portraying Errol Flynn in My Wicked, Wicked Ways. In addition, he is visible catching Dennis Quaid's jacket at around 1:19 in a clip from  Great Balls of Fire.
More successful in animation, McCann created the non-iconic character of The Huntsman. For the next fifteen years, he piggy-backed onto as many successful shows as his friends would allow. While the record is still being written, outsiders agree that McCann will be remembered by Bank of America and several other creditors who might reasonably feel aggrieved should he pass from the scene within the next several months.

Images: whitehouse.gov, Parcbench, fold3

Hot New eBook Cover

 

 Photo by Emily Morter

Why place a question mark on a collection of short horror stories? I'm not. But since Draft2Digital bounced my old cover for murky reasons, I've been compelled to commission a new one. So far, I'm liking the new direction.

Still trouble with Facebook. Now it requires a new password every time I try to log in, insisting that the current p-word is old or unrecognizable. Every time. Even if I just changed it the last time I logged onto either my personal account and/or author page. Every stinking time.

Click Contact Me on my JP Mac website. Send an email and I'll fill you in on launch details. I'm still thinking an ebook release on December 26 on Amazon and Draft2Digital. Softcover books should be along around mid-January 2021.

Other than that, everything's dishy.

Fifteen Years Ago on Thanksgiving Day

Ancient Blogging: 2005

Yes, the Internet Existed Then

I was living in a house and training for my first marathon. I'd been blogging for ten days at this point and didn't think much of it.  Here's what I had to say:

This morning I met some chums from Team in Training. We ran a 5K (3.1 mile) race in La Cañada, a northern LA suburb. I'd driven through there several times. The little hills sloped gradually, so it appeared. I predicted EZ running. Oh, they were sly, unpleasant hills. Steeper than they looked. Finish-time eaters. If it were possible, I'd cuff them sharply. 

This was very much a neighborhood race: families, parents with strollers, teenage girls running five across, and people running with leashed dogs — which I don't get. Walk the dog or run the race. Later, Ronald MacDonald — clown, spokesman, bon vivant — led youngsters in a warm up prior to a children's race. After that, a child warmed up Ronald MacDonald prior to a fast food spokesman's race. In any event, Happy Thanksgiving!

Despite sore arthritic knees, I'm grateful for the many good things in my life. And I still wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving!

Facebook-Writing-Running Updates Galore

 Let's be clear: Facebook still sucks. I believe my Ad Blocker is the reason they're giving me so much grief of late. (This would be the Ad Blocker I've been using for years.) I can no longer administer my JP Mac Author Page without being told I need a new email. Once I change the email, I'm informed I need a new email. They task me, these beetling tech people, skulking behind their algorithms.

Look to the right of this page. You will see the title for Death Honk. My collection of nine short stories will go live on December 26. What an excellent chance to use the Christmas gift cards received from relatives too busy to inquire what you actually enjoy. Amazon goes live on that date. But thanks to Draft2Digital, there will be a preorder sale starting next week for purchases on on Barnes & Noble, Apple, Kobo and other sites. In the next few days I'll provide compelling information on how to interact with these mysterious, weird, shocking, humorous tales.

Now let your eyes stray down from the book cover. You will see a listing for Pages. There will be two listings. One will read: On the Road with JP Mac. After many years, I've created a separate page for my running updates. Visit, note the incidents, comment if you will. Change is in the air and in my pockets, jiggling merrily.