Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Letter from My Health Insurance


Knebler-Moore Health Net.
Your Well-Being is Our Only Concern, but Never Our Complete Responsibility

Notice of 2009 Benefit or Coverage Changes

Coverage for Spouse - Due to changes in the IGM brought about by state and federal KOBA and GESRULE administrative findings, your spouse will no longer be automatically covered inside a hospital, but may receive treatment in the parking lot provided the lot is uncovered and outside the hospital.

Electronic Issuance of COE/IOC - Information has been added to the ASG under provisions of the Policy and Plans Benefit Certificate stating all future COE/IOC electronic issuance's must be issued electronically. We're not sure what this means, but it is binding.

Injury From Jelly Jars - Plan will no longer cover injuries from jelly jars, either flung or ingested.

Routine Physical Examinations - Visiting a doctor in person has been deemed superfluous. All examinations will now be performed at designated banks by untrained window clerks who are qualified to deposit your co-payment.

Bureaucratic Language Deceny Act - No unfair, wounding jokes about bureaucratic language and/or decisions will be permitted. We're people too. We love and have dreams. Our children laugh as merrily as yours. If we're cut, do we not bleed? If we bleed are we not covered by Knebler-Moore Outpatient Provisions in compliance with ARVESTI and CGI administrative rulings? So, please, be compliant — or we'll crush you like a rotten peach.

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