Friday, September 12, 2014

Paul Rugg Podcast Part 2

Animaniacs Wiki
 Stop by podcast Friends from Hell for twenty-five minutes of Paul Rugg recollections, courtesy of host Kevinn Gomez. Hear how Mr. Director became an Animaniacs character and discover the history of "froynlaven."

Update: If you happen to be in the mood for even more Paul Rugg, mark next Wed. Sept. 17, as Paul and friends launch their first improvised podcast. Check out That Voiceover Improv Thing for more details and the name of a special guest.  

Tuesday, September 09, 2014

Freak-a-con Inbound for 2015

Image: Covers.com
 Twenty years ago next year, Freakazoid! went into full-fledged production. And look where it is today! Actually, that's the point. Negotiations so secret that I must shhhhhhhh myself are underway that could lead to a festive weekend of Freakazoid related events and panels and—please don 't be cross if it doesn't happen—a bear riding a motorcycle.

Paul Rugg has this to say about Freak-a-con.

In between 7Ding, Tom Ruegger may add his voice.

UPDATE: Tom has indeed spoken on the subject

But add your voice. If you'd like to attend Freak-a-con
leave a comment and tell us what you'd like to see.

Monday, September 08, 2014

Dalai Lama Ducking Review

Image: Healthy, Happy Green Blog
 His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama, promoter of world harmony, spiritual leader of the Tibetan people, all-around Buddhist stud, has been asked by me to provide his thoughts and comments on The Little Book of Big Enlightenment. The Dalai Lama's insights on a short work that could revolutionize the field of spirituality will be invaluable. Despite a busy schedule, I believe His Holiness will approve of the phenomena of "rapid enlightenment," a three-step system guaranteed to bring a high consciousness to the great mass of humanity. I'm not saying the Dalai Lama is ducking the review. This is a man who smiles with compassion at Chinese commie thugs. But he is very busy with initiations, teaching and empowerments and might need a little nudge.

Help me help the Dalai Lama add his two spiritual cents to a groundbreaking, consciousness raising eBook, The Little Book of Big Enlightenment.

Contact the 14th Dalai Lama at:

Office: ohhdl@dalailama.com

Website Feedback:  webmaster@dalailama.com

Ask him to please provide his mindful comments on The Little Book of Big Enlightenment

And while I have already sent him a free review copy, let his Holiness know that The Little Book of Big Enlightenment is available at the following venues:

1. Amazon

2. Smashwords

3. Barnes and Noble

4. Baker & Taylor Blio

5. Kobo
http://tinyurl.com/k526knu

Please tell his Holiness that it's a short work and he should be able to zip through the eBook in no time, especially if he skips the "Acknowledgements."

Thank you so much. I will post updates on the progress of the 14th Dalai Lama in reviewing my book on rapid spiritual enlightenment. 

Namaste, man. 

Tuesday, September 02, 2014

Hollywood Slush Pile Features Where's Aida?

Back again by demand that, while not popular, would be if it were heard. 
 
(Here is the second edition of a series exploring the quarter million unsolicited screenplays that perish each year, passed over and forgotten along with their authors. This week we highlight a strange comedy that came close to seeing the big screen.)

Vaughn Flores worked for a temp agency in Alhambra, giving typing tests, making coffee, and getting everyone to sign office birthday cards. Each night he returned to a small home in La Crescenta where he lived with Grandma Flores. One winter evening in 1994, while smoking pot in his room and watching Matlock, Vaughn decided to write a screenplay. Then he'd have one just like everyone else who worked at the temp agency.

By summer 2002, after numerous distractions and many bags of chili Fritos, his project was ready. He called the script, Where’s Aida? Vaughn’s surrealistic comedy revolved around the Zavala clan, an extended Mexican family and their pet cow Beso de Leche. A headstrong bovine, Beso constantly tries entering the house to watch television, preferring soap operas to soccer and news.

Whenever a crisis arises, the Zavalas call upon bossy-but-lovable daughter Aida to fix things. Never seen throughout the film, Aida is the measuring stick by which other characters resolve their conflicts—what would Aida do? After a big fight and chase, the movie ends with the Zavalas realizing Aida is a real pain-in-the-ass. They move without leaving her a forwarding address

Getting tips from his temp agency pals, Vaughn managed to land the script at 20th Century Fox and Touchstone Pictures. But his work never passed the junior coverage readers. Said one about the screenplay: “More TV than film and bad TV at that, though I liked the cow.” Another wrote that 'Aida' seemed “a cross between Waiting for Godot and The George Lopez Show but with a funny cow.”

And so 'Aida' teetered before the plunge into that Tartarus of discarded visions called the Hollywood Slush Pile.

But in an odd twist, a company called Baja Quality Entertainment learned of the property through the grapevine and optioned it from Vaughn. They shot a screen test of a young actress, Carmen Solano, and a cow chosen to play Beso. 



 Where's Aida? seemed poised to spring from screenplay to produced movie. But the cow wrangler wanted too much cash upfront. Negotiations collapsed. The screenplay achieved the sterile honor of also landing in the Baja slush pile.

Deal deader than cheap gas, Vaughn lapsed into a depression. He had quit his temp job and used the Baja option money to buy a hash pipe and a cravat in anticipation of being a screen writer. Grandma Flores had already invited their family and friends to the Oscar awards. But time dulls all wounds. Vaughn realized that the hard work of writing didn't exactly fog up his bong. There were other things in life. And while he never stopped smoking pot, he eventually found a job where it didn't matter. Today, Vaughn Flores is in charge of Amtrak.

And now a lost tale has finally been told.
 video: lichoo

Monday, September 01, 2014

Appalling Yarns Paints It Black


Stand by for a full ration of hilarious, dark humor. Sharp writing and exquisite detail characterize Dutch Heckman's thirteen short stories that spare no one's feelings. Explore tales such as a town's relationship with a likeable, child-eating ogre, or the ambition that leads a man to sell his soul in exchange for a job as a TV weatherman. Consider this a very modern, post-modern eBook, eclectic in its targets, and relentless in its obsidian vision of life. If you've been feeling exceptionally upbeat about matters in general, don't forget to pick up a copy of Appalling Yarns. You'll be different afterwards.

Currently, Appalling Yarns is featured on Amazon's Hot New Releases.

It also falls in the Top 30 for Dark Comedy.

Saturday, August 30, 2014

Varieties of Writer's Block

Knox Comedy Live
 All I need are a few ideas. Usually I'll check out what's on—Gravity Falls, Wander Over Yonder, Phineas and Ferb, The 7D—then think of what might compliment, or play against, such shows. So far I have doodled the names of my neighbors, a telephone number for a physical therapist, and the word 'oakum.' Experience tells me Disney will want more.

When the going gets tough, the tough web surf. And in doing so, I stumbled across this old i09 article that not only explores writer's block but breaks it down into categories. For instance:

 "People lump several different types of creative problems into one broad category. In fact, there's no such thing as "Writer's Block," and treating a broad range of creative slowdowns as a single ailment just creates something monolithic and huge. Each type of creative slowdown has a different cause — and thus, a different solution."

And then they tell you even more. Value added? I think so.

Thursday, August 28, 2014

Thursday, August 14, 2014

John P. McCann Sizzle Page

'Twas suggested I post a few episodes of my work in a pleasant spot. I've chosen here. Sadly, not everything I've written has yet migrated to You Tube, but this is a fair sampling.


h/t: animall23


h/t: TheKingofBarbarian


h/t: Animaniac Clips 4 YOU


h/t: MYTV 


h/t: soupintern


h/t: alxnotorious

And for the literary minded, some micro fiction under a thousand words.

Fresh Ideas

Update: August 2, 2016, May 17, 2017, July 9, 2017, June 26, 2018

Also book trailers for my horror novel Hallow Mass plus my romance parody Fifty Shades of Zane Grey (both written as "JP Mac") and my non-fiction tale of prostate cancer, all fashioned with iMovie and free things from the Web.

Cornerstone Media


Cornerstone Media


Cornerstone Media


And there you have a small, but hopefully pleasing, portion of my work.


Thursday, July 24, 2014

Medicine Mauls Writing

TV Trope
 Back in June I got a physical. Ever since, it's been procedure after procedure for a variety of bodily malfunctions from an MRI to physical therapy to a chiropractor to a colonoscopy to this new prostrate biopsy thing on Monday. No half measures for me.

Good progress on my H.P. Lovecraft homage, as well as the aforementioned Dark Urban Tales. But maintaining momentum is tough when you're stranded in a doctor's office. They're often run like Disneyland, where you're moved into a room, giving one the illusion of movement, but then abandoned there for long periods. Thank God for Kindle!

So far, none of the medical findings have been serious, just vexing and time consuming. Enough. Away. To the lumber yard! (Or the next draft.)


Monday, June 30, 2014

More on Dark Urban Tales


Image: taptoe
In between battling neighbors over noise issues and loading up my schedule with medical appointments, I managed to wedge in a little writing over the last few weeks. I am having a delightful time crafting new short stories for Dark Urban Tales.

Three previously published shorts will be included:

"Death Honk"
"Fresh Ideas"
"Bummed Out"

In addition, there will be narratives about:

The fate of a dietary zealot in a cineplex inhabited by strange,
junk-food loving creatures.

An actor pursuing romance as his play collapses around him.

The Office meets Locked Up: Raw in a company where the most
vital rules are not written in the corporate manual.

A job applicant at a daycare center must outwit amoral
children steeped in Machiavelli.

Young urban professionals discover you
can't militarize the police without a little collateral
damage.

As mentioned, this will be my first softcover book, in addition to eBook formats on Amazon and Smashwords. For all the labor, the excitement hasn't dimmed.

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Everything Ravaged, Everything Burned Showcases Solid Writing

Everything Ravaged, Everything BurnedEverything Ravaged, Everything Burned by Wells Tower
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Nine short stories of relationships, status, and control are characterized by sharp writing and a good eye for metaphor. Tower's tales often involve change and a character's need to adjust as in "Executors of Important Energies" where a son must deal with a father's fading memory as well as the unexpected addition of a stranger to the relationship.

Other stories involve the consequences of infidelity, antagonistic brothers seeking common ground in the killing of a moose, and jaded Vikings hoping to find serenity in raiding one more island. A funny, dark, hopeful collection of well-crafted yarns.

View all my reviews

Sunday, June 15, 2014

Kaiju Apocalypse Cuts Corners

Kaiju ApocalypseKaiju Apocalypse by Eric S. Brown
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

Action for action's sake marks this eBook that draws heavily on story elements from films such as Pacific Rim and Starship Troopers. Rising seas have broken the Earth up into island nations. But Kaiju, big monsters, are destroying Mankind's redoubts one by one. With only a single refuge left, the military launch a final, desperate mission with humanities' survival at stake.

Stock characters leave you no one to root for. Contrived story elements can pop up at any time. Cliched prose included such ancient phrases as "frayed nerves," "swarmed like locusts," and something exploding "like an overripe melon."

If you don't read widely, you might not mind the various flaws. But it seemed like the book was rushed into print without benefit of copy editing or proof reading. Good cover art, but the authors might consider building a tale worthy of the image.

View all my reviews

Saturday, June 07, 2014

Dark Urban Anthology Coming Up Soon

Image: Free Wallpaper
 Maybe even next on the publishing calender. Last week was a grind, as I wrote out a second draft on a short story that billowed out to over 6,000 words. As of today there will be eight stories in the projected anthology, including three previously published and five original. The theme is dark urban fiction. Not horror, but psychologically disturbing—much like my neighbors and certain members of  state government.

My H.P. Lovecraft comedy-horror tale simmers now on draft six. I'm giving it another week, then I'll see if I'm motivated to continue. It will be a full-length book released in soft cover and eBook formats sometime later this year. And that's the state of that for now.

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Fishy Praise for The Little Book of Big Enlightenment

An Amazon affiliate site has the following to say about:

The Little Book of Big Enlightenment

"For anybody who is searching for a fantastic and trustworthy The Little Book of Big Enlightenment with cheap value, you arrive towards the best destination. We offer you with lowest value The Little Book of Big Enlightenment which you could be seeking. Now we have accomplished the basic research in your case to be certain that you will obtain the most edge from us."

Why can't you "with cheap value . . . arrive towards the best destination?" I'm guessing this means obtain a copy of the "Little Book" today and learn how Big Spirit hopes to stop you from obtaining rapid spiritual enlightenment in the time it takes you to read 67 pages.

Or it could be urging you to buy a frog-shaped cookie jar. Be your own judge.

Monday, May 26, 2014

Author Honors 'Nam Vets

On this Memorial Day, I repost an entry from Jan. 2012 on Nolan. I still intend to write about my 2000/2002 experiences in Cambodia and Vietnam working for the State Department and the Agency for International Development, and how you can see the history of the war written in the cratered earth. But that project will blossom when the moment is right. For now, let this post be my Memorial Day tribute.

 There was a time when I burned through military history books by the gross. I read famous authors like Band of Brothers' Stephen Ambrose and not-so-famous guys like Keith William Nolan. My history book reading has fallen off lately and so I just learned Nolan died three years ago from cancer. His specialty was the Vietnam War and his works relied heavily on interviews with American veterans who fought there.

Ten years ago, I had vague plans of producing a film based on Nolan's book about Operation Buffalo, which centered around the ambush of a Marine company in 1967. As I was returning to Cambodia for a project with State Dept./USAID and Warner Bros.—a story in itself—I made plans to visit the battlefields in neighboring Vietnam.

And so I contacted Keith William Nolan and asked for an option to develop a project based around his 1991 book Operation Buffalo: USMC Fight for the DMZ. I mentioned I was a former Marine who had served during the Vietnam era.

He let me have the option free.

That is simply not done in these parts.

By email, I thanked him for his generosity.

I CORPS
In time, I toured the landscape of Operation Buffalo, a dangerous patch of ground still peppered with Viet Cong mines and booby traps as well as unexploded American and North Vietnamese artillery shells. I walked the narrow, red dirt lanes on which B Company was ambushed in an action that grew into the bloodiest day for the Marines in Vietnam.

I drew a crowd of Vietnamese, hardly any who had lived there back in the day. (Most had been relocated in 1966, the year prior to the fight.) At one point, I was invited into a hut and asked to tell a few elders what I knew of the event. With kids and dogs yelling outside, I spoke in bursts of English which my interpreter translated into Vietnamese, explaining how a battalion of North Vietnamese lured an understrength Marine company into an trap that wiped out two platoons and shot to pieces a second company that came to help. Many of the Marine M-16 rifles malfunctioned, and men were cut down desperately trying to remove jammed rounds from their weapons. Some enemy troops infiltrated Marine positions dressed in captured American uniforms. Their assault was backed with flamethrowers and heavy artillery—based in nearby North Vietnam.

IN LEATHERNECK SQUARE
As the sky grew darker outside, we drank tea and smoked cigarettes. Reciting Nolan's book from memory as best I could, I told how the Marines returned the next day to retrieve the bodies of their dead and that turned into another fight. More reinforcements poured in on both sides, culminating in a massive North Vietnamese attack preceded by an artillery barrage. The Marines mowed down the charging troops, sealed off breaches in their lines and held. The enemy withdraw back to safety in North Vietnam. Marine patrols from the hill base at Con then set out once more to sweep the area, and the pattern of Operation Buffalo would be repeated in minor and major keys for the next several years.

Outside the village kids gathered around as I reemerged from the hut. There was a huge freaking spider the size of a catcher's mitt hanging in a web attached to a nearby pole. I refused to look at the monster. I feared the kids would knock the hulking arachnid down with a stick and chase it toward me to see what the tall foreigner would do.

I came home and the option expired and my movie idea eventually migrated into a rather large folder of unfinished products. Nolan wrote ten books on the Vietnam War, but never made a pile of money. His publisher wanted him to write about "popular wars" because Vietnam didn't sell. But Nolan felt he had an obligation to veterans who were often treated quite shabbily, called "baby killers," and depicted in the media as drug addicts, psychos and losers. He felt someone had to tell their story.

He stayed true to that calling.

A non-smoker, 44-year-old Keith William Nolan died of lung cancer. He left behind a little girl.

Nolan's books are more than just the story of battles, interesting to history buffs like myself. They are our heritage, our nation's story, told by those present, their deeds preserved for kids like Anna Britt Nolan.

One hot August night, I was at the Vietnam Veterans Memorial in Washington, D.C. Little gifts, flowers and tokens are often left at its base by families, friends, and old comrades come to visit the names of the dead. Apparently a grade school class had passed through earlier and left various letters on lined paper in huge kid scrawl. One in part read: "Dear Grandpa, We saw the Vietnam Wall. I'm sorry you could not tell your stories."

Keith William Nolan could.

(Below is information on a trust fund set up for Nolan's daughter. If you can, please donate.)

Anna Britt Nolan Trust
c/o First Bank
6211 Midriver Mall Drive
St. Charles, MO 63304


Images: Two-Seven Tooter

Sunday, May 25, 2014

Review: 'Nam Generals

In honor of Memorial Day, I'll be posting a pair of book reviews. Both are by author Lewis Sorley and deal with soldiers in command during the Vietnam War.

Honorable Warrior (PB)Honorable Warrior by Lewis Sorley

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


A forgotten man in the history of the Vietnam War, General Harold K. Johnson served as U.S. Army Chief of Staff during the run-up to the war and fought against the ill-conceived policies behind it.

A highly-decorated officer who had survived three brutal years as a Japanese prisoner, and served as a highly-decorated field commander in Korea, General Johnson saw the error in attempting to fight a war of attrition in Vietnam using draftees. He warned LBJ and Secretary of Defense McNamara that a failure to call up the reserves would result in cannibalizing the American Army in three years. As General Johnson predicted, men and equipment were stripped from Europe and other commands to feed the Vietnam beast. The American Army was transformed into a hollow shell.

Told in a linear fashion, Lewis Sorley's narrative follows Johnson's life from rural North Dakota to West Point, through two wars and a grueling peace, to four-star rank. A worthwhile read.

Westmoreland: The General Who Lost VietnamWestmoreland: The General Who Lost Vietnam by Lewis Sorley

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


It's been said that a commander is judged by his actions and his actions by their result.

If so, then history must take a stern view of General William Westmoreland. Famous for his command of American forces in Vietnam from 1964 to 1968, Westmoreland stands accused of being a careerist, promoted above his competence level, who fought Vietnam with the wrong tactics and allowed the Johnson Administration to use him politically as casualties rose and battlefield success grew more elusive.

A complex man, Westmoreland was a good officer, respected by his men at lower levels of command. Sorely chronicles his life and career as Westmoreland rapidly ascends through the ranks under the patronage of General Maxwell Taylor.

Given command in Vietnam, Westmoreland relied on body count as a metric of success. But by "cooking the books" to hide the rising number of enemy troops he faced, then returning to America to announce enemy capabilities were being degraded Westmoreland eroded his credibility and that of the Johnson Administration. When the NVA/VC Tet Offensive erupted in 1968, it made the general appear ill-informed or hapless.

A controversial commander in a controversial war, Westmoreland is worth a look.



View all my reviews

Saturday, May 24, 2014

E.T. Panzer Ace Returns

(Visitors keep visiting this post from Sept. 2012. So back it comes with only a minor tweak or so.)

In any given year roughly 250,000 speculative screenplays circulate around Hollywood, written for free by someone with a dream and a keyboard. Perhaps 50 will be purchased. That means 249,950 untold stories will silently wither, never to stimulate our imagination. But that Darwinian process changes today. Every Friday Write Enough! resurrects moribund scripts from the Hollywood Slush Pile, drawing on a veritable Marianas Trench of passed over pictures for a peek at might have been.

Today's offering is the 1983 sci fi/historical thriller: E.T. Panzer Ace.

Eager to piggyback on the success of Steven Spielberg's 1982 mega-hit, screenwriters typed out their top friendly alien offerings. But one canny scribe counter-punched. Aspiring wordsmith Moss Karling, a military history buff and bartender at Bob's Frolic Room in Hollywood, poured his dark passions onto the page. Eventually he convinced character actor (and regular customer) Gill Hong to show the script to his agent.

Karling's story followed the Spielberg path of a lost alien. But Moss elected to have the creature  marooned in 1943 Germany. The frightened being is discovered hiding under a Panther tank by lonely gunner Manfred Knobble. Knobble lures it into the barracks by leaving a trail of schnapps and cigarettes. Through an improbable series of events, E.T. eventually becomes a top panzer commander on the Eastern Front, personally decorated by Hitler who is told the odd-looking soldier hails from Tibet.

In a rare production still, E.T. (Gill Hong) is awarded an Iron Cross by Hitler (Loaf Masters).

But a suspicious Gestapo want the chain-smoking alien brought in for questioning. Knobble helps his friend construct a device to call for rescue, using an old concertina, barbed wire and a Volkswagen battery. The contraption works and a spacecraft arrives. Soldier and alien toast farewell with mugs of schnapps. As the groggy extraterrestrial staggers onto the ship, Manfred presents a parting gift—an antitank rocket. Thick with drink, the befuddled E.T. accidentally triggers the weapon inside the craft, setting off a thermonuclear explosion that vaporizes ship, alien, Knobble, and twenty-nine acres of the Black Forest.

"I'm just not seeing this," said Gill Hong's agent. "And the ending's a little dark, yes?"

A determined Karling set out to film the picture himself. He raised enough money to shoot fourteen minutes of footage, using borrowed equipment and actors like Cleveland Bevel who went out to become a featured extra in Air Wolf.

In time, Karling's interest in the project waned and he began a successful career writing historical fiction. His copy may be found on many official U.S. government websites. Hong worked steadily, later becoming a fixture in Tucson dinner theater. His former agent was arrested for lewd conduct with office furniture.

But now a lost tale has finally been told.
Image: alienresearchalliance.com   

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Ruegger Remembers

For your nostalgic viewing, Tom Ruegger over at Cartoonatics has been posting photos of people who helped make the above-mentioned animated TV shows, but whose names usually shot by on the credits at light speed. Another entry here.
L.to R.: Tom Ruegger, Richard Stone, Julie and Steve Bernstein being happy.

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Last Day for Discount on Molten Hot New Age Satire

All things end: nations, droughts, the Cub's absence in a World Series—though I'm not 100% certain about that one. Nonetheless, the same applies to discount code SQ34V. After today, it may no longer be applied to The Little Book of Big Enlightenment. You may no longer purchase a fun, fast read spoofing New Age practices for 50% off.

This most excellent discount only applies to eBooks purchased at Smashwords. Kindle owners will find this site accommodating their Mobi needs. Everyone else, from Nook folk to PDF fans, can select the format most pleasing to their eBook enjoyment.

After today, SQ34V will be disbanded as a discount code. Ultimate fate? Who is to say what happens to discount codes upon expiration? But I am certain you will no longer be able to apply SQ34V to my eBook explaining why "condensed enlightenment" is possible to all by uttering three simple words.

Learn about the dangers of hyper-enlightenment. What is Tarot Face? What happens when you contract the Cry of Atlantis?

The Little Book of Big Enlightenment is also available at Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Apple, Kobo, and a host of other fine venues, both foreign and domestic.

Don't let SQ34V dissipate in vain. Apply it now to your very own eBook copy of The Little Book of Big Enlightenment. Maybe that decent act will provide the universal karma necessary to help the Cubs, or the sporting team of your choice, achieve their destiny.

Behold! The Little Book of Big Enlightenment on iBooks.

Monday, May 12, 2014

Running, Beer Rule in Pikermis Blog


Post-race Mo enjoying a short beer.
Once I blogged about running, marathons and 10ks and such.  Now I run vicariously through the indefatigable Emil Cheng who, over the years, has posted innumerable photos of himself at different races, eating various foods and drinking a wide selection of beers.

But Maureen Smith may soon rival that. Blogging over at I Heart Pikermis (a term for half-marathons), this Chicago-based runner offers a growing catalog of beers sampled as well as her training log, and interesting observations on odious items spotted along a forest preserve trail.

This Sunday, Mo Smith will attempt to crack four hours at the Cleveland Marathon. That's about a 9:09 pace for 26.2 miles. But judging from her log, the pace will not be a problem. If there's any wild card, it's always race day conditions. You can train like a beast and then have Mother Nature throw a wrench in your carefully laid plans.

But running is all about overcoming. So all the best to Maureen this weekend and may her sub-four hour, beer-drinking dreams come true.

Saturday, May 10, 2014

Links to The Little Book of Big Enlightenment

There's nothing like fresh links on a Saturday morning.

Over at Twi See.com thanks to @Jasmin5817 for tweeting out an Amazon link to the "Little Book."

And a friendly rattle of Tibetan prayer beads to author Sarah Hoyt at Instapundit for referring to The Little Book of Big Enlightenment as "something to cheer you up."

Just a reminder, Kindle users, you can purchase "Little Book" over at Smashwords. Select 'Mobi' (or Kindle Speak as it's often known) and enjoy rapid spiritual enlightenment on the reader of your choice.

In addition, you can take advantage of the discount code SQ34V for 50% off.

For those sans e-readers of any kind, this fine eBook may be downloaded at Smashwords as a PDF file and read on your computer.

More soon as more happens.


Friday, May 09, 2014

Joe Leahy Favors Little Book



Valued Freakazoid! announcer, and voice over king, Joe Leahy has graciously saluted The Little Book of Big Enlightenment now up at Smashwords and Amazon.

Joe has seen, and said, it all so his compliment carries weight, especially since I'm no longer in a position to offer him work.

But I would if I could because he rocks a sound studio.

Blue Whales Endorse Little Book


 It's now official. Marine biologists have deciphered the speech of a Northeast Pacific Blue Whale and the creature was absolutely stoked that The Little Book of Big Enlightenment is live at Amazon. Follow the transcript below:

BLUE WHALE: My brothers, stop eating krill and listen: The Little Book of Big Enlightenment is now available for under two dry land dollars. For that amount, you receive three words that can lead you instantly to a new consciousness. Plus there is fighting and name-calling among the air breathing authors. This book is more fun that stuffing sea weed into a brother's air hole. Calving females, you will find mirth in this eBook as well. I'm breaching now for a copy.

Frankly, nothing says 'New Age' more than whales and so I can't think of a higher endorsement for a book that promises you that new consciousness you've always talked about in only a few short hours, thanks to "condensed enlightenment." Learn more fantastic spiritual shortcuts conceived by Master Lompoc Tollhaus today.

Naturally, Amazon has so much freaking cash they've developed a salt water Kindle for aquatic mammals. That's the way it goes. So if you aren't a narwhal or manatee, or a regular human with a Kindle, don't fret. The "Little Book" is also available at Smashwords. Download this awesome eBook in a variety of formats, including PDF that will allow you to read the "Little Book" online. For the next week, add discount code SQ34V for 50% off. (Only good on Smashwords and not available for  aquatic mammals.)

This is lava hot. Whales are picky about what they endorse. So if you want fun, fast, fast enlightenment tips, and a peek behind the rainbow curtain of New Age publishing, then act now and grab a copy of The Little Book of Big Enlightenment. Remember: whales like it.
Video: MoMarr

Thursday, May 08, 2014

Half Off Little Book

At least through next Thu. May 15 using the code SQ34V (if purchased at Smashwords).

Right now, The Little Book of Big Enlightenment awaits vetting by the Amazon folks for uploading to their busy site sometime tomorrow. All who pre-ordered will receive their copies on Friday through Smashwords, Barnes and Noble, Kobo and Apple.

There may be an upcoming plug from an influential media fellow, as well as an actual review of "Little Book." Naturally, I will sound off should such things occur.

Learn more informative book purchasing information here and here.

What else is to be done?

Go work on the next book.

Wednesday, May 07, 2014

Wisdom from The Little Book of Big Enlightenment


Krishnayapa after eating Twizzlers.

Master Krishnayapa lived a long time ago and said things that many accounted as wise. His sayings were collected by a disciple, Lompoc Tollhaus, who used them to pick up hippie chicks. But then Tollhaus experienced the wonder and astonishment of spiritual enlightenment and his life changed. He sought to raise the consciousness of humanity. In a breakthrough discovery, Lompoc Tollhaus uncovered a secret that would allow the common person to rapidly achieve spiritual enlightenment in the time it would take to read a little book.

But his dreams were dogged by the shadowy menace of Big Spirit, and a co-author who used to sell male enhancement devices.

Learn more tomorrow as The Little Book of Big Enlightenment prepares to launch Friday, May 9 at Amazon and Smashwords. If you are the proud owner of an Apple app, a Barnes and Noble Nook or a Kobo player, then know that you may pre-order a copy of the book this very instant. If you are ashamed of owning these items, you may pre-order anyway.

Without an e-reading device of any sort? You need not feel weak and out-of-sorts. On Friday, you may download from Smashwords—but only Smashwords—a PDF version allowing you to read on screen at your leisure, or print out a copy as in the days of Krishnayapa.

Today was spent formatting the book for Amazon where it now strains forward in draft mode, awaiting the green flag on Thursday evening. (Takes awhile for Amazon to approve everything, but the book should be visible and ready by Friday.)
 And remember that Thursday May 8, or tomorrow as many say, the code that—for one week—grants you half-price off any Little Book of Big Enlightenment purchased at Smashwords—and only Smashwords—will be displayed. Here, Facebook, Twitter, everywhere.

Soon the secrets of rapid enlightenment will be yours. Oh, fortunate one. Hurry, Friday!
(Images:  Hub Pages and True North.)

Tuesday, May 06, 2014

JP Mac Interview Plus Special Sale on "Little Book"

With The Little Book of Big Enlightenment going live this Friday, May 9, at Amazon and Smashwords, I thought I'd sound my own horn, thump my own tub, and otherwise make a big social media noise. Smashwords has this interesting facet where they allow you to interview yourself. One on one with one. So I answered my own questions as best I could. See how I did at Smashwords Interview with JP Mac.


In the next day or so, I'll be posting my red hot promotional code. Beginning Friday, May 9, should you, from the kindness of your hearts, purchase "Little Book" at Smashwords, you may use said code for 50% off. That's half off a fictional work promising fast, fast, fast spiritual enlightenment in "about the time it takes you to read the book."

No Kindle or Nook? No problem. You can choose to download "Little Book" as a PDF file and read it on your computer, or print it out old school style.

Don't try and use the code on Amazon. They will tersely rebuff you. Of that I have been assured.

And don't wait to act. Like all good promotions—and a fair number of bad ones—this 50% off business only lasts up to Thu. May 15. Then you must pay an additional buck and that's the way it goes.

So check back, nab the code, and stand by for The Little Book of Big Enlightenment this Friday, May 9. And, should time permit, read my interview and glean any number of writerly things.
(Images:  True North.)

Back From Nippy Chicago


A blustery 41 degrees when I left. Ninety-nine degrees in Phoenix where I changed planes. Home in seventy-degree LA after a long sad weekend attending my cousin's wake-funeral-burial. More should be said about Mary Ann Smith's courageous ten-year fight with cancer, but it's all still too depressing right now. Nevertheless, I found time for friends and family, Chicago-style pizza,  Italian beef sandwiches and stories about who knows who and what kind of favors that translates into.
(Image: Got Weather?)

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

"Little Book of Big Enlightenment" Up at Apple, Barnes and Noble, Kobo


Animated projects and indie book promotions. Between the two, I've had little chance to post for a few weeks. Before I go further, I hate formatting manuscripts for publication. What a boring pain! There. I'm restored.

The Little Book of Big Enlightenment is parked over at Smashwords, unavailable till May 9. However, you may pre-order a copy today at Apple, Barnes and Noble and, for my non-American chums, Kobo.  Get a jump on your reading peers before this astounding faux New Age book, written for the broadest of chuckles and telling you how to become spiritually enlightened in no time whatsoever, goes live on Amazon. And not just whopping monstrous Amazon, but all affiliated Smashwords sites such as the aforementioned Apple, B&N, Kobo plus FlipKart, Scribd and more. This humorous eBook will be spread across the Web like strawberry jam upon wheat toast. (A breakfast favorite around here.)

That was very sales-like and exhausting. Thank Heavens I've read The Little Book of Big Enlightenment and have sufficient serenity to withstand all contingencies. Well, most contingencies. Let's say a few contingencies and an unexpected bump or two not to exceed three per month. Then I grow sullen and overeat.

Sunday, April 06, 2014

Ark Royal Review: Book Moves at Light Speed

Ark Royal (Ark Royal, #1)Ark Royal by Christopher Nuttall
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

In the 'what happens next' department, Christopher Nuttall plays a winning hand. His tale of aging interstellar war ship Ark Royal pressed into desperate battle against invading aliens is a page turner.

His characterizations, however, draw a blank. The Captain is hardly creditable as a drunk of many years who attempts to set aside the bottle because "he must." Having some experience with drug addicts and alcoholics, the Captain would've died years earlier from a corroded liver. And no amount of duty, honor, humanity, would have stopped his descent.

There is an anemic love story and personalities you sense you've met over and over again in books and film. The news reporters, for the most part, are caricatured so broadly as to be cartoons.

But for all that, I read the story straight through, eager to learn the fate of Earth and the Ark Royal. I was reminded of Tom Clancy's Red Storm Rising, a techno-military page powerhouse with thin characters that also gripped my attention.

If you like your space war fiction at a rapid pace, give this one a try.

View all my reviews

Sunday, March 30, 2014

Beneath the Willows: Excellent Short Horror Story

Beneath the WillowBeneath the Willow by Gemma Farrow
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Gemma Farrow's undead offering is a short, well-written story about the triumph of hope over reality. Thomas wants life back as it was before his beloved girlfriend, Keziah, was attacked. And now, in dreams, a strange figure describes for Keziah certain actions that Thomas must take on her behalf. Devotion wars with truth. Will she again be the girl he loved or something quite different, quite frightening?

Farrow's pacing and sharp focus kept me turning the pages. Characters were, for the most part, well drawn. Give this short story a shot.


View all my reviews

Thursday, March 27, 2014

Jury Doody at Smashwords


Smashwords now hosts Jury Doody. Scroll down the page past my interview with myself and observer the pretty purchase icon.

Friday, March 21, 2014

Comedy-Mystery Banana Bamboozle



 Cassidy Dunne is out to solve a mystery. The only problem is the disorganized personality of Cassidy Dunne. Did her niece survive a fire? Can she save her best friend from ruin? Is there enough candy to sugar-rush her past life's bumpy spots? Find out more in this comedy-mystery by author Becky Clark with help from Ted Hardwick.

Ted and I did improv together back in the day and the guy's a blast. Give Banana Bamboozle a peek and treat yourself to a fun read.

Morongo Makes Losing Fun


If you live in Southern California and must drop a few bucks—and that's all we had to drop—then I recommend Morongo. Past Banning on Interstate 10, the place shoots up from the desert floor like a leftover set from Gattaca. Located between the snowy peaks of Mt. San Jacinto and Mt. San Gorgonio, the casino sports a nice view west of the windmill farm. Yeah, they had slots and table games and video roulette, but they possessed something else I hadn't encountered in a good long while: customer service. Even the ladies cleaning up the rooms smiled and said 'good morning.' The staff was so friendly, I wondered if it weren't some kind of set-up.

Here's how far behind the gaming curve I was: last time I visited a casino, slot machines still accepted coins. Nowadays you feed your money in, lose for awhile, then  press Cash Out,  and—if there's any left—get a paper slip listing the amount. Then you insert that slip into another machine—a lucky machine—and play down what's left. The strong willed march that slip to an ATM-like machine that pays real money. Farewell to the clang-clang-clang of coins hitting a steel tray. Very 21st Century.

Anyway, my wife and I had a blast. No family reunions. No place to be. And great WiFi so we could sit in the same room, on the same bed, and surf the Web.  In addition, there was an In-And-Out Burger within a block of the place. Thus our needs were met on multiple fronts.

Now I've got animated assignments and a book to upload to Smashwords. But getting away for the first time in years was fantastic. So refreshing was the experience, that we returned home and forgot to be resentful of our noisy neighbors.

Friday, March 14, 2014

Review: Fetterman Massacre

The Fetterman MassacreThe Fetterman Massacre by Dee Brown
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Fascinating description of the U.S. Army's 1866 construction of Ft. Phil Kearny and the subsequent massacre of a detachment that left no survivors. Based on Army records and firsthand accounts, the narrative builds to an ambush by two thousand Sioux of Captain William Fetterman and his 80 cavalry and infantry.

While hardened veterans of the Civil War, Fetterman and most of his officers had no experience fighting Sioux and Arapaho, but plenty of confidence in their own martial abilities. At the same time, Fetterman's commanding officer had no Civil War combat experience, thus was held in low-esteem by several subordinates, including Fetterman.

Events surrounding the ambush bookend this history, but much of the tale involves traveling across the prairie from Nebraska to the site of the fort in Wyoming Territory. Soldiers had been encouraged to bring their wives and these women kept diaries. Author Dee Brown expertly weaves their observations into the story, providing a valuable peek into the beauty and harshness of life on the frontier almost one-hundred and fifty years ago.

View all my reviews

Thursday, March 13, 2014

Smashwords Formatting, Free eBook Giveaway, and Book Reviews


Writing on all fronts languishes. In animation, new studio leadership and extensive paperwork respectively stall assignments. In eBook town, my Little Book of Big Enlightenment has improved with rewrites, but grown longer. Rebuilding it to conform to Smashwords is a drag. Minor tech-like things always compel me to Web surf. But I'll finish up this week.

Pleasantly surprised by the five-day Jury Doody giveaway. Three additional five-star reviews and a total of 1, 096 downloads. Since the promotion ended last Saturday, I've sold four more copies. These aren't astounding numbers by any stretch, but small pieces in a larger mosaic that takes form over time.

Book and Kindle reading has accelerated lately. Four new books in  horror,  sci-fi,  literature and history are read and crying out for review.

I'd rather be writing, but formatting and social promotion won't take care of themselves. I've tried. Give them space and they still won't conform. Such is the way of things. As Hyman Roth said, "This is the business we have chosen."

Saturday, March 08, 2014

Review: Enemy at the Gate: Habsburgs, Ottomans

The Enemy at the Gate: Habsburgs, Ottomans and the Battle for EuropeThe Enemy at the Gate: Habsburgs, Ottomans and the Battle for Europe by Andrew Wheatcroft
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Enjoyable narrative on the clash between the Hapsburg and Ottoman Empires in 1683. A high-water mark for Ottoman conquest in Europe, the Turks were forced back by a Hapsburg counterattack and compelled to surrender Hungary.

Most fascinating for me was the tactical differences between the two armies and the effect of the printing press on Western military development. Turks were hand-to-hand masters who surged forward in a mob, while Hapsburg forces maneuvered in mass thanks to drills codified and disseminated in manuals. Thus Western generals kept more control over their forces once a battle commenced.

The book seemed uneven, with great behind the scenes research on both sides up to the climax at Vienna. Afterwards, the focus shifted to the Hapsburg reconquest of Central Europe, reconciliation between two second-class empires, and, the final irony, alliance against the allies in World War I. All covered very rapidly.

That said, Wheatcroft's book is accessible to students of the era and novices such as myself. A worthwhile competent history.

View all my reviews

eBook Daily Promotes Jury Doody


Well-read folk at eBook Daily gave Jury Doody a shout-out on their main page. Scroll down to Memoirs and Biographies.

On this last day of my free give away, Jury Doody still holds the #1 spot in Humorous Essays:
And #2 in True Crime.

I'm at 916 copies downloaded and feeling pretty confident that I'll crack 1k and pick up a few more reviews. And a pleasant Saturday to you! 

Friday, March 07, 2014

Jury Doody@Amazon, Still #1 Humorous Essays

What will I talk about today? Oh, well, there's always my eBook,  Jury Doody. Since Tuesday morning, I've held the #1 spot in free Humorous Essays and now stand at #2 in True Crime. With one day to go, I've been pleased with the outcome. Almost 550 copies have been downloaded, resulting in three more positive reviews. I only wish I had another book uploaded. Otherwise, can't—and won't—complain.

Wednesday, March 05, 2014

Free eBook Still #1 at Amazon, Adds 'True Crime' Category

A day later and still trending up, Jury Doody cracks the top 1,000 in free eBook giveaways. As of this morning, add #1 in 'True Crime' to #1 in 'Humorous Essay.' Few people buy what I write, but a great many enjoy reading my work free. Some leave positive reviews. I've found a niche!

Tuesday, March 04, 2014

Free eBook Hits #1 on Amazon

As of 1:57 Pacific Time, Jury Doody was:

Free eBook Nears Top of Amazon Rankings

Did I say #3?
That was so last-hour of me.
 I meant #2. 
 
Amazon Best Sellers
Our most popular products based on sales. Updated hourly.

Best Sellers in Humor Essays

 
2.
Jury Doody
Kindle Edition
Free

Free eBook Climbs to #3


Like a phoenix, Jury Doody rises to the third spot on Amazon's list of free humorous essays. A fun little work about on odd domestic violence trial in Los Angeles, it's captured the public's imagination provided there's no cost. Not to slight to those who purchased a copy, but I found myself in a use-it-or-lose-it situation with Kindle Direct Publishing.

 KDP requires your book be exclusive to Amazon for ninety days. But one of the perks is a five day window in which you may offer your ebook free of charge. This pays off  best when you have other books available. I had hoped to have another title up before the giveaway, but "The Little Book" is not so little anymore. As I'm not renewing with Kindle Direct, and the free days don't rollover, I had to go "free" before Saturday.

So grab a copy today. Or, if matters are pressing, by Saturday. Learn more about a case involving spousal abuse, cell phone abuse, and strange glottal wailing. Only in LA.

Thursday, February 27, 2014

Always Writing: Websites all writers should be on!

Neil Ostroff's blog offers a cool list of FREE spots writers should consider joining. Having turned in my DreamWorks assignment this morning, I'm off to check them out.

Always Writing: Websites all writers should be on!: I’ve been doing a lot of marketing/promotion lately for my books and have come up with a “must-be-on” list for writers who want to pro...

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Pat Hobby Review: Hobby Rocks Studios

Some things in Hollywood never change. Tom Ruegger sent me his copy of these short stories and I really enjoyed them. 

The Pat Hobby StoriesThe Pat Hobby Stories by F. Scott Fitzgerald
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

A hilarious collection of short stories by F. Scott Fitzgerald about a once successful Hollywood writer with a big house and a leaky pool, now reduced to living in a cheap Los Angeles apartment and hustling the studios for piece work.

Pat Hobby was big in the 20s, dictating movie scenarios and fond of seeing his name up on screen. But in the late 30s, he's a desperate middle-aged has-been with gambling and drinking addictions to nourish. Hobby will steal ideas, lie, connive, and manipulate for another shot at steady studio employment and the brass ring of the producer title he felt was denied him.

But Hobby reaps what he sows and often finds himself upended by his own chaotic plans and the blow-back they generate from outraged victims.

A writer at Universal Studios, Fitzgerald published these shorts in Esquire at a time when it appeared he was the washed up voice of the 1920s. Give these seventeen short stories a read and enjoy watching the train wrecks pile up.

View all my reviews

Monday, February 24, 2014

More Ink and Harold Ramis

Robin Kalinich, social media dynamo, has penned a kind word about me over at More Ink's Facebook page. Thanks once again Robin for a most-appreciated shout-out.


Less festive is the news that writer/director Harold Ramis passed away. I heard him speak at the American Film Institute many years ago and he seemed like an easy-going guy, not too swollen by success. Prayers and best wishes to the family. He leaves behind an awesome body of work. Among my many favorites is the oft-quotable Caddyshack.

Sunday, February 23, 2014

See Lousy Book Covers!







They aren't kidding. Ponder the importance of designer skills as Lousy Book Covers presents the best of the worst.

Saturday, February 22, 2014

Social Media Swamps Writer


Lovely Pics
Often mentioned, never dealt with is my growing conflict between writing and social media. As an independent author, I need to establish my presence online. But I find the balance hard to maintain. I should be focusing on the final rewrites to my next eBook. (Now available for preview here and at Goodreads.) Instead, I've spent the past ninety minutes "liking" the Facebook and Amazon author pages of other writers, screwing around with Twitter and Goodreads and wondering when I'll get over to Google +. My online presence is not large but all the little likes and comments add up. A hundred small leaks will cause a boat to founder as surely as a great hole.

Do other writers set a fixed time for social media? I'm open to suggestions. 


Sunday, February 16, 2014

DreamWorks, Warner Bros. Assignments Due Next Week

Image: Spencer Fry
 No Sunday or President's Day off. DreamWorks outline material must be finished by Tuesday—that's the part-time gig I've had since January. And episode ideas for a new Warner Bros. show need to go in Wednesday morning. These brief joblets keep me afloat while I final edit The Little Book of Big Enlightenment.

On the subject of eBooks, next week will see a promotion of some manner for Jury Doody. Why don't I know the nature of my own promotion? I must first read the Amazon,com promotional rules and haven't time. But watch closely later next week. Something will occur.

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'Twas suggested I post a few episodes of my work in a pleasant spot. I've chosen here. Sadly, not everything I've written has y...