Showing posts with label Promotion 2014. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Promotion 2014. Show all posts

Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Last Second eBook Shopping

Christmas Eve and all is hopefully well. But if you still haven't hung your electronic stockings by the chimney with care then here are a few eBook options that'll brighten the faces of all ages and tastes. Good authors—I know them, including me—good writing and a few bargains mixed in make these works worth the click. Scroll on and, I say, Merry Christmas!

For whom the bell trolls!

Undrastormur: A Viking Tale of Troublesome 
Trolls 

How do you cope when trolls show up at your village with an appetite? In this short fantasy by TV animation writing ace Roger Eschbacher learn what young Erik must do to save his people. Suitable for young and old alike. Under a dollar. (That's .99 in Kindle-speak.)





Justice and fun in one rea

Jury Doody

Yes, this is by me and details my adventure on jury duty trying to tease out the truth in a bizarre case of spousal assault. Here is the real LA Law in a quick amusing read suitable for teens and up and available for under a dollar. Also available on Smashwords.






Offensive tales that attack.



Appalling Yarns

Unnoted recluse and veteran TV cameraman Dutch Heckman has assembled a collection of offbeat tales so dark they illuminate Black Holes. Read why Oscar is a likable ogre, and marvel at what happens to Risky Ventures when his luck runs out. Something to offend everyone. Adults only. $2.99.










Do you really want to check your cell phone at dinner?



Aunti Jodi's Helpful Hints

In a changing world, Aunti Jodi guides you through life's thickets with wit, humor, advice, and a glass of champagne—for her, that is. Jodie Adler's light-hearted look at mores and manners is the perfect gift for that special someone who really needs a hint. Suitable for teens and up. $4.99.









There's no place like om for the holidays.

  The Little Book of Big Enlightenment

Enjoy the fun as a guru and a marketing hack trade snark and barbs in the pages of the latest pop spirituality text detailing a path to instant  enlightenment. Who is Big Spirit? How do they benefit from stopping your rapid climb to the top of Mount Serenity? Once again, this one's mine and suitable for teens and up. $1.99. Also available at Smashwords.

Saturday, December 20, 2014

50ZG Parody Progress


Zane Grey adding up his royalties back in the day.
(Image: bio)
As of yesterday, I've laid down 28,012 words and 89 pages of 50 Shades of Zane Grey. The five-page method makes writing in manageable chunks a breeze. Parts I through IV comprising the first chapter and a half are available for your perusal.

And while my title is catchy, Zane Grey, western novelist, and once the highest paid writer in the world, is as lost to contemporary life as analog phones and the western itself.  Over the next six weeks, I'll be laboring to reestablish the name Zane Grey with the western genre he did so much to pioneer—so to speak. Then wed Grey's world to the sultry titillation of E.L. James in the hopes of providing a few laughs in time for the mid-February film launch. What happens afterwards? While the vault of time holds this answer in abeyance, I only know I'm bound to proceed with my next book.

Until that golden day, behold a funny spoof of the '50 Shades' trailer. 


h/t: Spank!

Friday, December 12, 2014

TVIT with Julianne Buescher

Image: katyanovablog





More mirth from Paul Rugg and friends as Julianne Buescher joined That Voice Over Improv Thing on Wednesday for fun and robust comedy. Also present, long time Animaniacs supporter Ron O'Dell and spouse, yelling out suggestions in a manner befitting a long-time supporter.

Friday, November 28, 2014

50 Shades as Read by Ellen


h/t: The Ellen Show

In the same spirit, 50 Shades of Zane Grey combines the steamy world of exotic sex with the Old West in a blend of leather, whips, and lariats, but all used differently in a satirical send-up of the best-selling trilogy.

Read Part I, II, III, and IV of 'Zane Grey' here on Write Enough! And look for the complete eBook and softcover versions on Amazon in February, right in time for the '50 Shades' film premiere.

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Mo LaMarche Sings P&B

Yeeees, he does sing the Pinky and the Brain theme songover at Craig Cumpton's Voice Actors in the News. See Mo and puppeteer Victor Yerrid engage, reflect, muse for no cost but the time it takes you to enjoy. As an act of balance, here is "Pinky" Rob Paulsen singing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle theme song with the very same puppet guy.

puppetsnshit

50 Shades Trailer Plus Satire

Universal Pictures UK

Coming Feb. 13. By then I hope to have 50 Shades of Zane Grey up on Amazon in both eBook and softcover formats. Until then, Happy Thanksgiving to the USA, and keep an eye on this blog or Facebook at JP Mac for updates. 

Image: Old Picture.com
Alone in the Pullman car, heart still rippling from our close escape, I marvel at the rich appointments: the tasseled lamps, the velvet drapes, a redwood desk featuring an ornate oil lamp and a disturbing paper weight of a naked man cringing in ecstasy. A faint smell of cedar mixed with aromatic pipe tobacco and saddle leather permeates the car. My soft chair is finely upholstered. I sip from a water goblet made of expensive European crystal. Oh my, holy jeez crap. I can’t believe I’ve been transported from the dangers of the frontier to a place of safety and mostly good taste. Gradually, my beating heart resumes normal tempo. I’m thankful it is no longer in my mouth. Medical professionals have deemed this tendency odd and fraught with hazards. I wish it would stop.

My Inner Spinster and Inner Bawdy Woman have ceased their panicked brawling. Inner Spinster sullenly tends to bruises dotting her face. Inner Bawdy Woman naps with mouth open near my temporal lobe. In my left ear, hearing returns in time for me to detect a discreet knock on the cabin door. From the landing outside, Mr. Grey’s private secretary steps inside the car. I bite my lip and give my eyes a practice roll. For a large man, he moves softly, gracefully. Dressed in a neatly pressed dusty suit, he displays an extensive array of facial scars. Grey’s secretary sneers at me. In his cultured English accent he says, “Is there anything you require, Miss? A jug of whiskey? Some gingham? Fiddle music?”

Contempt falls from him like wool at a sheep shearing; contempt and something sinister and cruel. I find his facial scars most disturbing, particularly the horizontal one running from one ear, under his eyes and across his nose to the other ear. It’s as if he were held down while someone tried sawing off his head.

“I’m quite fine, I’m sure.”

He indicates a long cord hanging from the ceiling. “Should you require anything at all, perhaps a corn cob pipe, education, morals, simply engage the sash.” He departs, taking my parasol without comment. I hope he returns it.

What had I done to deserve such treatment? My Inner Spinster rolls her eyes, cackles, then drinks deeply from my spinal fluid causing me to temporarily lose all sensation from the neck down. I mumble, murmur and whisper, wishing I’d accepted Butte’s offer to accompany me inside the Pullman car. Despite his deplorable gun work, he’d behaved gallantly on the road, saving me from robbery, as well as mutilation by Indians. Eileen Harrison will be deeply in my debt. But then my Inner Spinster reminds me that Butte also saved his own life and property. Where is the gallantry in that? Argh. I have made an inner pirate sound. Why?

Voices rise from outside the train. I peek out a curtain. Grey’s secretary supervises the unloading of the dynamite. Butte tends to our horse team, speaking with a man beyond my scope of vision. This man, this Mystery Voice, sounds youthful and confident, serene, commanding. I blush, bite my lip twice and listen.

“’Butte Parker?’ Didn’t you scout for the late Major Artis?”

“Told him not to go up the Rosebud. Only a few of us made our way back to Fort Sheridan.”

I marvel. Are Indians so torpid that indifferent marksman Butte Parker could shoot his way to freedom? Not on the evidence I have seen. I open the window a bit wider, drawn to the Mystery Voice like a cow to a salt lick.

“Parker, I’ve been told your tracking skills equal those of the savages. They say you could find an Indian in the middle of the desert, half drunk, blindfolded and snake bitten.” 

“Me or the Indian?”

“Let’s begin with you.”

“Even so afflicted, I reckon I could, if you cut my sign.”

“Do they bind you upon capture, the Indians? Rawhide thongs. Very tight.”

“Might. Depends. If mutilation is on the plate—and it usually is—they’ll tie you; otherwise you’ll buck some and spoil their work.”

“Could you possibly obtain me an Indian, or Indians, who might be persuaded to demonstrate their binding skills? In return, I would improve their station in life with training in basic hygiene.”

What a noble sentiment. Who was this Mystery Voice, reaching out to those less fortunate? Clearly, he possesses high moral standing. I go into a half swoon.

Butte responds tersely. “The Red Man’s around here in numbers and eager to make your acquaintance. Me and Anna Ironhead were just about hell-served-for-breakfast until your English fella and his men rode up.”

“I shall assume that is a ‘no?’”

"Reckon you cut my sign."

“By Hercules, sir, I always get what I set out after.”

 Butte spit a stream of tobacco juice.

Rapid footfalls ascend to the platform outside the car door. I let the velvet curtain drop and assume a more dignified position. I pre-blush and prepare my most business-like murmur. The car door opens and Grey’s secretary pokes his marred face inside to announce, “Mr. Lash Grey will attend you now.” Back lit by the sun, a shadowy figure steps inside.

I nervously rise to greet him but stumble like a drunken farm horse, knocking over the ornate oil lamp and starting a small fire. As the secretary extinguishes the blaze, I blush furiously, my color hidden by the smoke and a two-minute coughing fit.

Windows are fully opened, airing out the car. I am startled to find myself coughing into the cravat of a young, attractive man in an expensive suit unmarked by mud or horse apples. His fascinating eyes impale me, one pupil gray and the other a shade of teal. His reddish hair is combed back and his teeth are even whiter and more incandescent than those of Romegas. What’s more he is clean; cleaner even than Harney Calhoun.

With a ghost of a smile, he cocks his head and says, “By Hercules, girl, you are clumsy as a calf with square hooves.”

“I’m so very sorry, Mr. Grey,” I murmur, blocking a gasp at his handsome  features.

Grey dismisses his loathsome secretary. “That will be all, Manclutch. And do sit, Miss Ironhead. What the deuce became of Miss Harrison?”

My chair is only slightly scorched by the recent blaze. From my bag, I remove the paper with Eileen’s questions as I crisply whisper, “Unfortunately, Miss Harrison was wounded covering a shooting at R.I. Perryman’s Sporting Palace. But she has sent me with her queries, which I understand will be published in the Wolf Tongue Chronicle.”

“I regret her maiming. Miss Harrison’s persistence and drive are quite admirable. Now then, interrogate as you will,” he says and I wonder if he’s laughing at me. His domineering voice and odd eyes make me feel strange in a feminine way that defies description but involves DOWN THERE.

I stutter from nervousness. “Who is your pa-pa-partner in the Grey and Grey Railroad?”

“No one. I enjoy hearing my name pronounced twice. Sit up straight, would you please? I loath slouching.”

So arrogant. So controlling. I immediately comply.

“Do you have a great many engines and cars?”

“Yes. Quite a few.”

“Do you have cabooses as well?"

 “I do. I like to see a caboose on the end of every train. It’s like a period at the end of a sentence, brandy and cigars after dining, being hog-tied and caned after . . . never mind.”

Is he again laughing at me? And what of these questions? Eileen must’ve written them under fire. They stink like dish water in which miners have bathed. I note Lash Grey’s exceptionally long ring fingers and recall the worlds of Butte Parker. Suddenly my mouth opens like a coal chute and words tumble out unbidden, “Are you a Dandy Man with a yen for obtuse delights?”

Part I, Part II, Part III

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Jurassic World Trailer

Now up over at Troy Benjamin's site. According to Troy: "Dr. Ian Malcolm told us that life was going to find a way but, apparently, so did humans and Jurassic Park (now World) is a thriving theme park akin to the Disney empire. But, as they famously say, something goes wrong."

You'll have to wait until June to find out.

But first, a teaser for a trailer.


Universal Pictures UK

Saturday, November 22, 2014

TVIT With Bill Farmer, Bernsteins

Image: 1057thehawk







More improvised fun may be found on Paul Rugg's latest podcast. Listen as voice actor Bill Farmer along with Emmy Award-winning composers Steve and Julie Bernstein join That Voice Over Improv Thing regulars for an hour of fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants comedy.

Thursday, November 13, 2014

New 50 Shades Satire


Art: Rhoydon Shishido

A portion of Chapter One appears tomorrow on this very blog. Set in the brawling sprawling Old West, 50 Shades of Zane Grey tells the tale of an innocent young woman with more people roaming inside her head than you'd find at a schizophrenic rave.

She falls for a railroad tycoon with sexual appetites one might call strange, even by the standards of contemporary Los Angeles.

Will our young heroine be corrupted or will she tame her feisty tycoon? Or will she be swept away by the charm of a dashing bandit, or give herself to a steadfast, heavily-armed scout with more guns than teeth?

50 Shades of Zane Grey starts tomorrow, Friday, Nov. 14 on Write Enough!

This story does not judge. If you like to be tied up, whipped, or have raisin bran stuffed up your fanny that's none of my business.

My task is to provide you with a laugh-packed, satirical romantic adventure.

Stop by tomorrow. The segment won't be long otherwise you'll click off to some geek comic book site or Russian co-eds. Who knows?

Read the first installment of 50 Shades of Zane Grey and do leave a comment. Let me know your thoughts on a story that dares to combine bondage and bronco busting.

Check out 50 Shades of Zane Grey tomorrow here on Write Enough! And never rope anything without professional guidance.

Image: hqwallbase.com


Saturday, November 08, 2014

50 Shades Satire Soon

It was a time in the Old West when cows ran free and women were hogtied.

Meet Anna Ironhead: clumsy, innocent, her head filled with imaginary people.

Meet Lash Grey: handsome, wealthy, with more sexual quirks than a Bangkok brothel.

Together they discover a love hotter than a burning wagon.

 . . . a passion deeper than a Cheyenne arrow wound.

 . . . a lust more primitive than basic western hygiene.

 The world around you will vanish as you plunge headlong into a torrid, page-turning realm of buried desires and telegraph sex.

Go where ropin’, ridin’ and romance meet on a regular basis. 

Coming November 14 to this blog.

The first installment of: 50 SHADES OF ZANE GREY.

Experience 50 times the eroticism.

. . . 50 times the gunplay.

. . . 50 times the annoying murmuring.

 50 SHADES OF ZANE GREY

Chapter One premiers on this blog in six days. 

 50 SHADES OF ZANE GREY

A story so steamy you'll lose weight.

50 SHADES OF ZANE GREY

Say it softly and it sounds like the ringing of a chuck wagon triangle.

50 SHADES OF ZANE GREY

Chapter One appears Friday, November 14 exclusively on Write Enough!


Art: Rhoydon Shishido

Thursday, October 30, 2014

California Cult Blog Examines Golden State Fringies


'California' and 'cult' go together like 'hot dog' and 'mustard.' Learn about the many groups that have called this great big state their home. As Michael Marinacci says about his blog:

"So here they are: the impossibly diverse, often bizarre, and always intriguing cults, sects, churches, and religions that have either emerged from Californian soil, or settled here to promulgate their spiritual beliefs and practices."

Check it out here.  There's always room for another man with an alternative plan.

Image: The Wellbeing Guru


Thursday, October 23, 2014

TVIT with Rob Paulsen


Well, it took a week but the wait was worth it. Episode Two of That Voiceover Improv Thing contained a healthy ration of laughs with special guest Rob Paulsen as well as celebrity impressions of Denzel Washington and Charlie Rose. Give a listen and, remember, if you can see it, it's not Voiceover Improv.
Image: Nairlalnd Blog

Monday, September 29, 2014

Paul Rugg Podcasts with Kevinn Gomez

Image: Voodoo Rules
I return from incredible medical adventures: pain, drugs, baffling complications, and a nurse who pronounced "nausea" as "nocha."

As I slowly recover, tuck into this interview with Friends in Hell podcaster Kevinn Gomez chatting with voice-over and animation ace Paul Rugg. Learn more about Freakazette and the voice actors who backed the Guy With Lighting in His Hair.

http://kevinn-gomez-9.podomatic.com/entry/2014-09-24T12_49_07-07_00


Tuesday, September 16, 2014

TVIT with Eric Bauza

I'm assured that a microphone with rays will be used.



At 8:00 PM Pacific Time, to be exact. Listen as Paul Rugg, Eric Bauza and other comedic improv and voice over actors take suggestions and run with them as if they were in a fine theater. Only they'll be podcasting. Other than that, there's no difference. No real difference. Name one, if you can.

Listen to That Voiceover Improv Thing, oh, listen here.

Image: Fineart America

Monday, September 15, 2014

Rugg Wrestles Dalai Lama

He could have sat on the sidelines, but no, my friends. Paul Rugg has hurled himself into the whirlwind, joining myself and others in again beseeching His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama to review The Little Book of Big Enlightenment. Rugg wished "Mr. Lama" to know:

Nihil Obstat


"JP Mac's The Little Book Big Enlightenment will change your life...as it has mine. I'll give you an example: this morning when I woke up I didn't cry uncontrollably at the thought of facing another day. Instead I turned to page 32 of The Little Book Of Big Enlightenment and used one of its many helpful tips to find inner peace. Then I had coffee. Then I wrote a poem. Then I paid some delinquent bills."

And there's more over at Froynlaven

In the news, the Dalai Lama has just called for an inter-faith conference in India. How long do you think that took? A minute, maybe. ('Why don't we have an inter-faith conference right here in the sub continent? Okay? Make it so.') While waiting for inter-faiths to gather, His Holiness could be reading The Little Book of Big Enlightenment, because it is a very fast read. His wisdom will make a wise, but short, book even wiser. (But no shorter.)

Contact the 14th DL at:

Office: ohhdl@dalailama.com

Website Feedback:  webmaster@dalailama.com

Ask him nicely if he'll please review The Little Book of Big Enlightenment. Oh, and His Holiness has a spokesman named Galek Namgyal. That's probably who you'll end up talking to . . .  Galek the Gatekeeper. 

Don't be rude. Don't giggle at his name. However insist that Galek earn his soup by passing on your review request to the DL.

I mindfully thank you. Enjoy some kale.



Office: ohhdl@dalailama.com

Website Feedback:  webmaster@dalailama.com - See more at: http://writeenough.blogspot.com/2014/09/dalai-lama-challenged-to-review-little.html#sthash.rfMwkl2y.dpuf
Office: ohhdl@dalailama.com

Website Feedback:  webmaster@dalailama.com - See more at: http://writeenough.blogspot.com/2014/09/dalai-lama-challenged-to-review-little.html#sthash.rfMwkl2y.dpuf
Office: ohhdl@dalailama.com

Website Feedback:  webmaster@dalailama.com - See more at: http://writeenough.blogspot.com/2014/09/dalai-lama-challenged-to-review-little.html#sthash.rfMwkl2y.dpu

Sunday, September 14, 2014

Little Book Slams New Age


SVP Wiki
There is much to recommend The Little Book of Big Enlightenment. Now there is even more: a cogent description! To the point:

"You don't need to know dharma from doughnuts to enjoy this lighthearted look at New Age practices and direct mail marketing. Because of legal wrangling and a "chakra mishap," a book on rapid spiritual enlightenment has been released with two completely different styles. On the one hand, you have the soothing mindfulness of New Age Master Lompoc Tollhaus, informing you about his discovery of "condensed enlightenment." On the other hand, you have the brash, edgy copy of ghostwriter JP Mac, pushing spirituality with all the finesse of a man selling Ginsu Knives on late night cable.


Guru and ghostwriter snark, snipe, and leak embarrassing personal information as they inform readers about a three-step method for attaining a new consciousness in the time it takes to read the "Little Book." In addition, Tollhaus and Mac both warn against the deceptions practiced by New Age corporate giants, better known as "Big Spirit."

However, in the midst of their squabbles, something subtle and unexpected occurs, forcing Lompoc Tollhaus to decide whether he really believes in his own discovery.

It's Deepak Chopra versus a Viagra salesman in a short, fast "Little Book" that delivers a rainbow of laughs."

This new description is up on Smashwords now and will be on Amazon shortly.  Oddly enough, you may purchase the "Little Book" on such sites as:

1. Amazon

2. Smashwords

3. Barnes and Noble

4. Baker & Taylor Blio

5. Kobo
http://tinyurl.com/k526knu

Monday, September 08, 2014

Dalai Lama Ducking Review

Image: Healthy, Happy Green Blog
 His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama, promoter of world harmony, spiritual leader of the Tibetan people, all-around Buddhist stud, has been asked by me to provide his thoughts and comments on The Little Book of Big Enlightenment. The Dalai Lama's insights on a short work that could revolutionize the field of spirituality will be invaluable. Despite a busy schedule, I believe His Holiness will approve of the phenomena of "rapid enlightenment," a three-step system guaranteed to bring a high consciousness to the great mass of humanity. I'm not saying the Dalai Lama is ducking the review. This is a man who smiles with compassion at Chinese commie thugs. But he is very busy with initiations, teaching and empowerments and might need a little nudge.

Help me help the Dalai Lama add his two spiritual cents to a groundbreaking, consciousness raising eBook, The Little Book of Big Enlightenment.

Contact the 14th Dalai Lama at:

Office: ohhdl@dalailama.com

Website Feedback:  webmaster@dalailama.com

Ask him to please provide his mindful comments on The Little Book of Big Enlightenment

And while I have already sent him a free review copy, let his Holiness know that The Little Book of Big Enlightenment is available at the following venues:

1. Amazon

2. Smashwords

3. Barnes and Noble

4. Baker & Taylor Blio

5. Kobo
http://tinyurl.com/k526knu

Please tell his Holiness that it's a short work and he should be able to zip through the eBook in no time, especially if he skips the "Acknowledgements."

Thank you so much. I will post updates on the progress of the 14th Dalai Lama in reviewing my book on rapid spiritual enlightenment. 

Namaste, man. 

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Fishy Praise for The Little Book of Big Enlightenment

An Amazon affiliate site has the following to say about:

The Little Book of Big Enlightenment

"For anybody who is searching for a fantastic and trustworthy The Little Book of Big Enlightenment with cheap value, you arrive towards the best destination. We offer you with lowest value The Little Book of Big Enlightenment which you could be seeking. Now we have accomplished the basic research in your case to be certain that you will obtain the most edge from us."

Why can't you "with cheap value . . . arrive towards the best destination?" I'm guessing this means obtain a copy of the "Little Book" today and learn how Big Spirit hopes to stop you from obtaining rapid spiritual enlightenment in the time it takes you to read 67 pages.

Or it could be urging you to buy a frog-shaped cookie jar. Be your own judge.

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Last Day for Discount on Molten Hot New Age Satire

All things end: nations, droughts, the Cub's absence in a World Series—though I'm not 100% certain about that one. Nonetheless, the same applies to discount code SQ34V. After today, it may no longer be applied to The Little Book of Big Enlightenment. You may no longer purchase a fun, fast read spoofing New Age practices for 50% off.

This most excellent discount only applies to eBooks purchased at Smashwords. Kindle owners will find this site accommodating their Mobi needs. Everyone else, from Nook folk to PDF fans, can select the format most pleasing to their eBook enjoyment.

After today, SQ34V will be disbanded as a discount code. Ultimate fate? Who is to say what happens to discount codes upon expiration? But I am certain you will no longer be able to apply SQ34V to my eBook explaining why "condensed enlightenment" is possible to all by uttering three simple words.

Learn about the dangers of hyper-enlightenment. What is Tarot Face? What happens when you contract the Cry of Atlantis?

The Little Book of Big Enlightenment is also available at Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Apple, Kobo, and a host of other fine venues, both foreign and domestic.

Don't let SQ34V dissipate in vain. Apply it now to your very own eBook copy of The Little Book of Big Enlightenment. Maybe that decent act will provide the universal karma necessary to help the Cubs, or the sporting team of your choice, achieve their destiny.

Behold! The Little Book of Big Enlightenment on iBooks.

Saturday, May 10, 2014

Links to The Little Book of Big Enlightenment

There's nothing like fresh links on a Saturday morning.

Over at Twi See.com thanks to @Jasmin5817 for tweeting out an Amazon link to the "Little Book."

And a friendly rattle of Tibetan prayer beads to author Sarah Hoyt at Instapundit for referring to The Little Book of Big Enlightenment as "something to cheer you up."

Just a reminder, Kindle users, you can purchase "Little Book" over at Smashwords. Select 'Mobi' (or Kindle Speak as it's often known) and enjoy rapid spiritual enlightenment on the reader of your choice.

In addition, you can take advantage of the discount code SQ34V for 50% off.

For those sans e-readers of any kind, this fine eBook may be downloaded at Smashwords as a PDF file and read on your computer.

More soon as more happens.