A Happy New Years to all! Busy collating, totaling up, adding together various measurements from this year in the fields of running, writing, and finance.
Fourteen years ago, I spend New Year's Eve in the following manner:
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A Happy New Years to all! Busy collating, totaling up, adding together various measurements from this year in the fields of running, writing, and finance.
Fourteen years ago, I spend New Year's Eve in the following manner:
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Find them here! |
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Not mine, but similar. |
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activenorcal.com |
Lessons galore awaited me in my 7th marathon. New approaches and techniques had been incorporated into my training, lending uncertainty to the final outcome. Would these new elements cause me to bonk? Blow up? Grimace in the presence of photographers? Here's what happened.
Back in July, I was goofing around on the web instead of working on my book. Ending up on the California International Marathon website, I had a pang of nostalgia. Once, I'd signed up for the same race, intent on qualifying for the prestigious Boston Marathon. But injuries by the crate load sidelined my training and appeared to end my running career.
Anyway, 14 years later, I signed up for CIM. My 2022 training commenced with the goal of breaking five hours. But then I went on vacation. My hopes of incorporating training runs with travel fizzled. I lost two weeks.
Back home again, I only had 10 training weeks left. Some running economies would be necessary. Preparing for Surfers Point the previous year, I'd been steamrollered by my 21-mile run. Slow as I was, that distance was practically the same amount of time it would take to run the actual marathon. To keep my legs fresh, I chose to limit my longest run to 16 miles.
My goals were to finish 26.2 with a smile and only lightly brush the fabled Wall. The smile would have to await circumstances. As for the Wall, I planned on taking electrolyte paste—known as "gu" and also a popular brand of exercise paste—earlier than I normally did and staying well hydrated.
Since rain was forecast for race day, I packed the poor man's rain coat: a 33 gal. trash bag.
At 4:45 AM, rain swept the parking lot, drops beading on windshields. Boarding a drafty school bus, I was conveyed with my fellow runners to the start-line near Folsom Prison. CIM sure didn't skimp on Porto-Potties. I was able to locate one without too much hopping around. There were almost 9k runners waiting in the drizzle for the the race to start. I figured to hang out in the back, go out slow for the first few miles, than dial up the pace, hitting the second half of the race with more zip. I'd make up the time and bust five hours like dropping a dish on bricks.
Loudspeaker banter from someone, then a woman sang "The Star-Spangled Banner," then the race began. Seventeen and a half minutes later, I crossed the timing mat. Downhill, then up. That would be the pattern for most of the race. You run a little different going uphill, conserving your energy, then drop your arms and let your legs swing back on the downhill. These weren't steep hills, nothing like what I trained on, but they grew monotonous.
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activenorcal.com |
Pretty green country with farms and horses, and people outside in lawn chairs. "You're almost there," yelled someone on the second mile. No one laughed, not even the man who said it.
I smiled at people cheering. ("You've got this.") It was a good way to pump up my own energy. But in the course of things, I let my pace lapse. By around seven miles, I realized I needed to hustle. As we ran through suburban Sacramento, past high school cheerleaders, taiko drummers, djs spinning techo mixes, musicians and vocalists, I sped up. By around the 13.1 mile mark, I was closing in on goal pace.
"It Could Be Worse," said a homemade sign, "You Could Be at Work." The overcast sky parted and we ran under a clean polished blue sky. Wadding up my "raincoat", I jammed it into a trash bag held by a teenage dude. "Watch," I said, "It'll rain now." He snorted in amusement.
Too much water; that's what my stomach said. I felt bloated. At mile 18, I couldn't touch another Gu. I also noticed that walking ached almost as much running. Between miles 21 and 22, we ascended a bridge over the American River. Coming down the other side, a man yelled, "You're on the fast part now."
Really? My legs felt as heavy as iron girders. As we entered the Sacramento city limits, a woman checked her cell phone and cried, "86.6 percent of runners have already finished." She seemed delighted to convey the information, as if responding to popular curiosity. The only runner I cared about was me. Dark clouds drifted overhead.
Best message of the day was held up by a boy of around nine. His homemade sign read: "This is the worst parade I've ever seen."
While I was holding pace, I still hadn't made up lost time. At mile 23, I took off, giving it all I had left.
Grit-your-teeth time. Everything hurt. My feet burned as if running on lava. I hoped for an injury so I could walk in.
At mile 24, the rain resumed. I was grimacing for all to see, praying the finish line would rush forward to meet me.
Then we were in downtown Sacramento. The rain eased off. The finish line was just past a jigsaw beyond the 26 mile sign. Straight then left. My wife Joy waved from the sideline. "See you up ahead," I called. Then the course hung a left dogleg and the finish line awaited
A woman passed me. An odd hobbling man passed me. To break five hours, I needed afterburners like a Titan rocket.
Wobbling over the finish line, I checked my time: missed the goal by 24 seconds.
Clearly, I should've picked up the pace sooner. I tended to weave across the course, wasting even more time. Still, I bettered my last marathon by 22 minutes. I also discovered that 16 miles is just fine for the longest of the long training runs. I didn't smile at the end, but I didn't suffer from a lack of electrolytes. I felt relatively good.
You race like you train. I trained to finish and did. If I want an afterburner, then I need to improve my chi running form, strengthen my core muscles, and set aside a dedicated running day for speed. I also need to practice marathon pace when my legs are heavy.
As we entered Christmastime, I'll allow my body rest for the next few weeks. But I'm anxious for the next marathon. Perhaps Los Angeles? Starting January 1st, I'll have a whole 11 weeks to train.
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rt.com |
Very little on the running front lately. I'm still depressed over the Dutchman's death and don't feel like blogging or Tweeting or working on my next book. I look for reasons not to do anything. But the marathon approaches this Sunday and I'm not so bummed out that I'd eat the race fee, hotel room, or months of training.
My goal remains to once again break five hours. Last year's Surfers Point race only counted a hundred or so marathon runners. Lots of elbow room. The CIM sports around 10k. That means close contact with my fellow humans in the first few miles. So I've factored that in as an asset to slow me down when every instinct cries, "Take off!"
Despite my grief, the race must go on. As Auden said in Musee des Beaux Arts:
"About suffering they were never wrong,
The Old Masters: how well they understood
Its human position; how it takes place
While someone else is eating or opening a window or just
walking dully along;"
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@AetherCzar |
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Courtesy Angie Heckman |
Around 1986, he decided he wanted a nickname. For the next year or so, Heckman would correct people calling him 'Dave,' insisting he be referred to as 'Dutch.' In time, Dutch succeeded in giving himself a nickname on his own terms.
As Kurt Vonnegut might have said, "And so it went."
Below awaits a Heckman sampler. It's hard to believe there will be no more of Dave's hilarious acerbic comments. But plenty old ones remain.
What better eulogist than the Dutchman himself?
2007 - 2009: Products of a Diseased Mind blog
Write Enough! blog posts either mentioning Dave or featuring his writings.
2006: Getting Around with a Leg Cast
2007: The Value of Nothing
Excerpt from The Value of Nothing
2008: 27 Years Ago
2012: The Riots Recalled
The Dutchman Recalls the Riots
2019: Stalinfest
If you miss Dave's outrageous humor, look no further than his books.
2014 Appalling Yarns
2017 Dreadful Outcomes
My wife, Joy, sent me the passage below. When it comes to the memory of Dave "Dutch" Heckman, I will be guided by this soothing wisdom:
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sharetheoutdoors.com |
Speaking of running, my California International Marathon arrives the first Sunday of December. My training has been erratic, but I'm standing strong on my 4:59 finish. This training cycle, my longest run will be 16 miles. Because I'm so darn slow, a run of 20 miles ala last year takes almost as much time as the marathon itself. The body takes a beating and needs more time to recover. And since the benefits of long slow distance wane around three to three and a half hours, I'm game to discover the benefits of running less. (Should they exist.)
This time last year I was aglow from Surfers Point.
Let's see what kind of glow awaits in Sacramento.
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Available in many places. |
A blast from back-in-the-day as book review blog Bookshine and Readbows passed judgement on my New Age satire, The Little Book of Big Enlightenment. Inside its electronic pages, gurus, marketers, and the author battle over the true meaning of the Eckhardt Tolle-like musings of visionary Lompoc Tollhaus. Or, as Bookshine and Readbows remarked:
"Don't expect to find any genuine enlightenment . . . but to instead be entertained by a rollicking riot of flim-flam, shicanery and bickery in-fighting . . . ."
Find the Little Book in most spots where fine ebooks are sold.
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iconscout.com |
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assignment point |
Read their post on the subject of FREE and DISCOUNTED books.
Why won't certain posts be published?
Update: Blogspot would not publish my post on Upstream Reviews. Now its Okay.
Go to their fine platform as they promote discounted and free ebooks on the great Amazon beginning tomorrow, Sept. 6. Wednesday, Sept. 7.
If Lumen 5 ever delivers a video, I'll post it below. I was hoping for something unusual that combined AI and my imagination. So far, nothing.
justkindlebooks is featuring my new book on Tuesday, Sept. 6. Wednesday, Sept. 7.
My book is called "How to Run a Marathon in 13 Years."
An award-winning, nonfiction memoir, 'Marathon' tells the tale of an aging runner.
This man is hobbled by operations and his own failings, as he attempts to run another marathon.
There are no vampires, steamy love scenes, or werewolves.
If you see any next to this book, then it's probably not my book.
Visit justkindlebooks at: https://www.justkindlebooks.com
Eat lots of canned sausage.
My head is made of iron from old bridges.
Humbug.
UPDATE:
This was a test to see what Lumen 5 AI came up when presented with unusual dialogue. Pretty disappointing. When stumped, the AI chose images with some kind of corporate graphics. A bolder AI has yet to make an appearence. I had to swap out most of its picks to keep the video from being a total snore.
Yes, that would be MY award-winning, nonfiction memoir. Thanks to a sterling review by editor-in-chief Thomas Anderson, How to Run a Marathon in 13 Years received a Literary Titan Gold Book Award. (As depicted below.) I'm just vain enough to plaster that award everywhere.
For the simple reason that they promoted my marathon book. But other literary bargains, free and discounted, are contained within their pages. So, you see, it's not all about me here.
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Amazon |
Or JP Mac as if says on the books. The good keepers of ancient knowledge over at Animanicast interviewed me about a Pinky and the Brain episode I wrote called "Spellbound," as well as inquiring about my upcoming book on loss, acceptance, and running a long way: How to Run a Marathon in 13 Years. Give a listen.
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Discounted for pre-launch; live Thu. September 9. |
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CoolClips.com |
September 9 is the day and I'm really behind with the print book. I sit down in front of the computer in the morning and arose myself sometime in the late afternoon or evening. Most of the challenges involve formatting. Lately, my laptop goes with me into the living room where I turn on the TV and concentrate on the laptop.
Very weary of all this self-publishing business. The next book goes out to publishers. I can write another one while the first is being rejected.
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giphy.com |
Not the two free chapters to a discounted nonfiction, inspirational memoir launching Friday, September 9. No. Not that. However, it's jaw-dropping that I've posted twice in one day. Naturally, I want something.
Stop by my landing page (Aweber's landing page), leave your name and email and receive the first two chapters to How to Run a Marathon in 13 Years. Should you be tempted to purchase, just know that the ebook is .99 and will remain so until September 16. Then, as is customary in this country, the price will rise like one of Elon Musk's rockets.
Hope you enjoy the writing. I'm preparing the manuscript for ebook and softcover formatting. I'm also preparing to not self-publish anything, ever again.
Of course, I've said that after marathons.
https://squarespace13.aweb.page/p/118781de-9708-4993-a9f6-abffc0f5b429https://squarespace13.aweb.page/p/118781de-9708-4993-a9f6-abffc0f5b4
https://squarespace13.aweb.page/p/118781de-9708-4993-a9f6-abffc0f5b429https://squarespace13.aweb.page/p/118781de-9708-4993-a9f6-abffc0f5b429https://squarespace13.aweb.page/p/118781de-9708-4993-a9f6-abffc0f5b429
https://squarespace13.aweb.page/p/118781de-9708-4993-a9f6-abffc0f5b429
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animationcontinent |
It's almost to the day last August when I ran my first ten miler in many a year, enroute to Surfers Point Marathon.
Now I'm enroute to the California International Marathon just as if it were 2008. They've been sending me invitations since I injured myself back in the day. I opened one last month and thought it might be fun to give it a try.
I intend to break five hours. That's 11:27 a mile. It seems doable, but I will have a vacation in the middle of my training. I've planned around it, given myself more time. The vacation shouldn't interrupt the mileage buildup.
The book slogs forward toward its Sept. 9 release. I'm sooooo tired of it, but need to push on as if it were mile 24.
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A fine place. |
Yesterday, Adam was decent enough to invite me on his popular podcast to share memories and promote my latest book. A good time? Most certainly and free water too, I might add.
Below is an image of Adam as contractor and ladies' man Nick E. Chitwood from our time at the Acme Comedy Theatre.
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From l. to r.: myself, Adam and Bob Petrella in a sketch from 1990. |
That's the category on colossus Amazon that I currently hold top spot in. Behold! Proof of a sort. Nevertheless, I'm delighted and you will be as well come September when the book is released and the price goes up. A pleasant Wednesday to all.
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Discounted for now. |
'Twas suggested I post a few episodes of my work in a pleasant spot. I've chosen here. Sadly, not everything I've written has y...