CSUN 10K Race Report from Back in the Day

This is an updated version of an old post from six years ago. A rare race report on something other than a full or half-marathon. Just 6.2 miles around a college campus. Plus I left out my encounter with The Incredible Annoying Man. Back then on Mondays or Tuesdays, Melissa Foley and I would meet at the Rose Bowl and run four miles. She wanted to break four and half hours at the Long Beach Marathon in the fall. I wanted to break four hours at the Chicago Marathon, also in October. (My result is chronicled here.) At the time, I was training for the inaugural Santa Barbara Wine Country Half-Marathon.  My friend Ernesto and I were signed up. I had a room booked and everything. Ah, but interesting events loomed in my immediate future.

Ran a 10K today at Cal State University Northridge. After injuring my calf running last Monday (locked up tight), I spent the week either in the pool or doing yoga to loosen up the muscle. And while it's still not 100 %, I felt strong enough to give 6.2 miles a go.

Except I didn't want to run.

I didn't want to get up, or drive to Northridge, or run once I got there. And a very annoying guy with a strange, over sized bill on his cap out of a Terry Gilliam film decided to mentor me. First he said I wasn't drinking enough water pre race. When I blew him off, he decided to critic my stretching. I told him I'd like to listen, but I needed to be somewhere else and wait for the race to start.

Racing feet, but not mine. Image: Utah Valley

Horn sounds and the race begins. Off I go anyway. I wanted to quit at the second mile. Then I wanted to walk for long periods. Then I wanted to quit at mile 5. Yes, it was sunny and hot and the course teemed with race-etiquette challenged "Kids Run L.A." But I've been there/done that before and bounded along like a young deer. Today was different. A most unusual attack of the "quits." 

Maybe 10Ks remind me too much of tempo workouts — hard, long mid-week runs at a faster-than-usual pace. They build endurance. And grumpiness.

Despite all that, I set a 10K pr of 52.56. That comes out to an 8:32 pace. (Note: My official gun time  places me at an 8:36 pace.)

Afterwards, I drove to Brookside Park near the Rose Bowl for World T'ai Chi Day. This is a yearly gathering of L.A. County T'ai Chi players and Chinese yoga practitioners. Marjorie was there. We hugged good-bye again. She drives to Texas this Friday. I hung out with old chums Loren, Ed, Iren, Dave and Dede from my T'ai Chi class. Then I bought an official tee-shirt and left.

Acres of writing, but it'll keep.

I don't want to do that either.

Turns out I was running with a torn calf-muscle. No Santa Barbara and no running at all until July. My training was thrown off for Chicago, but I really got into spin bikes and that stands me well to this day.  

Why Kindle Tasks Me

My jury duty essay, "Unreasonable Doubt," has sustained a name change to Jury Doody. I'm now in the process of prepping the MS document for transfer to a Web page and eventual upload to Kindle Direct. I'm using a Kindle book specifically for Mac users and it seems straightforward. But I'm the king of formatting workarounds like lots of hard returns that create forbidden extra paragraph symbols. Spacing, hyperlinks, and other formerly ignorable details must be executed within the  program. I'm glad I chose the shortest of my "books" to upload first. Now I understand the peevishness of Khan.

h/t: thatjohnkydd

And Gutierrez

h/t: Brendan Owens

Novel Update Plus Free Bonus Writing Tip!

i z quotes

Oh, hahahahaha! The second draft is finished. What a crawl through gravel that was. But there's a story there. I see it forming. Now I'll let the whole thing simmer and finally PUBLISH SOMETHING ON AMAZON! Yes, within two weeks, an electronic version of my jury duty essay, "Unreasonable Doubt," will be for sale to the general public on Amazon Kindle. (The specific public may also partake. I'm not an excluding guy when it comes to such matters.) Off to find cover art.

Free Bonus Writing Tip
As my spirits dragged toward the end of the second draft, I used a trick to transition me into writing.
I would spend five to ten minutes copying text from a story onto a page, then switch over to my latest chapter. This got me writing judgement free for the few minutes that I needed to warm up. My teaser texts were:

The Mammoth Book of Monsters edited by Stephen Jones

Everything Ravaged, Everything Burned by Wells Tower.

Incidentally, Tower is a kick-ass writer who can really sling a metaphor. Worth a look.

So Long, Jack Bierman

Jack Bierman 1942 - 2013

In 1989, I was out of college, broke, living in a microscopic apartment above a garage in Hollywood and in need of employment. Answering an ad led to an internship at LA Parent Magazine. Founder and editor Jack Bierman hired me after my internship ended. He was the first person to ever ask me where I saw myself in five years. I didn't know anyone thought that far into the future. I think I answered, "Not in prison." Nevertheless, I eventually became Calender Editor for sister publications in Orange County and San Diego. Working with an amazing group of editors, I learned to write quickly and to deadline while keeping up the quality. On the production side of the magazine, I ran into an interesting bright young woman who eventually became my wife. Moving on in 1991, I soon landed a staff job at Warner Bros. Animation and my life veered into a different realm.

Over the years, I'd run into Jack every now and then. He'd hold poker games for the old editorial and production crews and was even my neighbor for a time. Occasionally we'd meet for breakfast and talk running as both of us were former marathoners. So I was bummed today to learn Jack had recently passed away.

Aside from starting a magazine from scratch and turning it into a multi-million dollar business, Jack was a quirky guy who worked his own spiritual side of the street. A Jew from New York, his wife was a devout Catholic and Jack would occasionally attend Mass. He listened to tapes of Thomas Merton and would meditate in his office. Once he lent me a Merton cassette and I lost it. With some trepidation, I admitted the deed. Jack smiled. With a Zen attitude worthy of Merton, he told me not to worry.

Good thoughts and prayers go out to the family, particularly daughters Lisa and Clare. Lisa has set up a site for stories about her father on Tumblr. (Image: LA Times)

Chicago Marathon 2007

Six years ago, I ran my third marathon in Chicago. Or, at least, I attempted to. Here's my race report originally published on Oct. 8, 2007 under the heading Sweat Home Chicago.

Marathon number three continued my tradition of only running marathons with temperature extremes. At dawn it was an overcast, humid 75 degrees and climbing. My niece dropped me off near the lake-front start line around 7:00 AM. I checked my gear, loosened up with T'ai Chi, then stood in a tightly-packed brick of humanity waiting for the 8:00 gun. As the overcast dissolved into popcorn-shaped clouds, the sun rose above Lake Michigan. It felt like a furnace door opening.

Because of crowd size, it took me 20 minutes to cross the mat.

Interesting Stat:

The Chicago Marathon sold out all 45,000 spots back in April.

But only 35,867 passed the start line Sunday morning. That means 9,133 people figured out it was too stinking hot to run.

Lots of TNT runners from Illinois, Iowa, Kansas, New York City and even Louisiana.

The field was so packed it was tough to interval. Those who intervaled clashed with those who viewed the far right of the course as a passing lane. My goal was a 4 hour and 40 minute marathon. I aimed to interval four minutes running/ and one walking up to the half-marathon mark, then see how I felt.

Leaving Grant Park, the course turned onto LaSalle Street just past Mile 2 and headed north. No water at the first stop — they'd run out. There was a mob around the folding tables, shaking gallon water jugs to get the last drops. The surrounding street was littered with flattened Gatorade and Hinkley water cups from the preceding runners. (Wet, flat plastic cups are like ice. You had to watch your footing.) People were highly pissed — especially those without water belts. (I'd brought mine.) One runner had a bottle of Gatorade. He took a sip, passed it back to me. I took a sip and passed it on to another runner. This no-water business boded ill.

Running for several miles on LaSalle, you'd get an occasional breeze through the tall buildings. I'd take off my visor and savor the cool air. Then out into Lincoln Park where the water stations remained a problem. Runners were surging across the street to the first one they saw. Sometimes there was only Gatorade. Other times, volunteers couldn't keep up with demand and runners served themsevles. Whenever possible, I grabbed two cups, drinking one and dumping the other over my head. (In today's Chicago Tribune, the race director blamed runners for the water shortages, citing those who took two cups.)

Around mile eight, I saw an old white-haired runner drift off course and ask a spectator if he could sit in his lawn chair. (The guy helped him down.) By now, sirens whooped all over the city as ambulances rushed the first heat casualties to the hospital.

The heat was getting to me. For the moment, I slowed but kept the same interval. But as we turned west onto Adams, the shade disappeared. No tall buildings, no leafy tree-lined streets with brick apartments. I passed a medical tent and it was full: runners on cots and others holding ice bags to their heads. Past the half-way point, I started tossing out goals like a passenger on a sinking boat dumping freight. Dropping to a 3:1 run/walk, I slowed pace even more. After frying my brain in Honolulu two years ago, I listened to my body and if it said walk more, I did.

We doubled-back east on Jackson and finally found a little shade. Turning south on Halsted to mile 17, I was mostly walking. I'd pick a point and run to it, or run half a mile, or choose a runner going about my speed and tag along. I took another salt tablet, but skipped goo as it made me retch.

Somewhere around mile 18, the cops bull-horned that the race had been cancelled. No finishing times would be official. Please walk. There was a great deal of confusion. By now, the city had opened up fire hydrants and fire trucks stood at certain intersections hosing down the crowd. (Not to mention ordinary Chicago citizens with garden hoses doing the same.) Finally, in the Mexican neighborhood of Pilsen, around mile 19 it sunk into the vast majority of runners that the 2007 Chicago Marathon was toast — just like them. Some runners dropped out at the nearest medical tent where they'd be bussed back to the start line. Some ran on. A nasty rumor surfaced that we wouldn't get medals. This put me into a black mood.

Come what may, I was determined to finish. Because my legs hurt, I ran 1:1 off and on to around mile 22, then walked to mile 26. Along with many others, I ran the final .02 because there were cameras present. 24,933 runners crossed the finish line.

And they did give out medals.

I finished in 5 hours, 48 minutes and 23 seconds. Check the Comments of my previous post where Jeff Carroll has listed my unofficial splits.

One man died and over 300 were hospitalized for heat injuries.

The people lining the route were great. Many offered water or ice cubes, staying on to cheer in the heat long after the race was called.

As for the "other" race — the front end of the marathon where people actually had a chance to win — Kenyan Patrick Ivuti beat Moroccan Jaouad Gharib by .05 of a second. (2:11:11) The top woman's finisher, Ethiopian Berhane Adere edged Roumanian Adriana Pertea in the homstretch. Pertea thought she had the race knocked, and eased off, waving to the crowd as she neared the finish. Adere poured on the coal to catch and pass Pertea for the win. (2:33:49.)

Given my injuries since April, I couldn't think of a better race to cancel. But if I'd been a TNTer who'd fund-raised and trained for this moment, or a runner eager to pr, I'd be supremely miffed at Sunday's outcome. For over a week, I'd been tracking the temperature. I knew it would be hot and humid. Hence, the race organizers did also. I find it hard to believe they couldn't increase the amount of water stations, change the start time to earlier, or better prepare for the heat onslaught they knew was coming. The Honolulu Marathon faces these conditions every year. No one could pick up a phone?

In any case: mission accomplished. After 30 years, I finally finished the Chicago Marathon.

Thanks to Ryan, Raul, Jeff and K for the emails. I'm walking around fine after sleeping eleven hours last night.

As for now, I'm not looking at any marathons before next fall in Pasadena. But don't tell anyone I'm entering.

They'll kick me out to avoid extreme weather.

(All photos courtesy of the Chicago Tribune.)

Sam King's Halloween Art

Eight days more until the night of All Hallows Eve. In the spirit(s) of things, I'm sharing artist Samantha King's seasonal offering from her blog.

Samantha King

Another Novel Update

crowdflower,com

Work, travel, and other sound excuses have thrown off my schedule. But I'm back at the book this week. I've been attempting to weave the story and may be making things harder. For instance, each chapter is beginning with a flash forward that is filled in later. I might be better off writing everything front to back, then figuring out in subsequent drafts where to drop things in.

This was originally a novella meant to be quickly brushed up then uploaded for sale on Amazon. But the story developed its own wants and needs and will be novel-length whether I approve or not. Alas, the tale is set aboard a small boat afloat on a sea alive with monsters. In many ways, the story is  like a play where all the characters are on stage constantly. They only exit when I off someone.

Right now, I want to off them all and type "The End."

That said, onward.

'Boats' Tells How Animated Features are Made

A funny look at animation executives planning the next movie blockbuster.

justindec

Cartoon Brew via Josh Gerbrandt on Facebook

Goodreads Short Story Labeled 'Mature and Explicit'

Are you really? Then dare  to click the button below.

My short story "Death Honk," now up at Goodreads, carries the above warning. However Wattpad allows the same material with a PG13 rating. And the Journal of Microliterature just assumes you can handle it.

Note: I've included the word 'splatterpunk' in the metadata of this microfiction. (Less than a thousand words.)  The Oxford Dictionary defines splatterpunk as: "a literary genre characterized by the explicit description of horrific, violent, and often pornographic scenes." 

And while there are no pornographic scenes in "Death Honk," there is explicit description of certain actions one might find 'horrific' and, most certainly, 'violent.' I, in no way, disagree with the Goodreads warning. I merely point out how the same tale may be labeled, or not, on different sites.

Mostly, I've never had a story preceded by big red warning labels and it's kind of exciting. 

So long, Tom Clancy

NY Daily News

 Tom Clancy is gone, but leaves behind good writing advice. From back in the day, I recall reading Red Storm Rising and marveling at how fast Clancy could move action while relating highly technical details on military hardware. He was wise to see the potential mix of his books and video games. And he also had some tips for those interested in a writing career:

"You learn to write the same way you learn to play golf... You do it, and keep doing it until you get it right. A lot of people think something mystical happens to you, that maybe the muse kisses you on the ear. But writing isn’t divinely inspired – it’s hard work.”

Clancy thought of himself "as a storyteller, not a writer." He said,  “I think about the characters I’ve created and then I sit down and start typing and see what they will do."

Considering my recent angst, I appreciate the wisdom of a seasoned scribe who will be missed. 

Another eBook Novel Writing Update

Writing hasn't gone very well lately.      (Image: ESPN)

My morale is so low I'd desert if there was anywhere to go. Back on August 31, I was writing Chapter Five. Today I finished Chapter Seven and began Eight. Yes, I had a freelance article and some marketing work, but I fell into a deep rut between Six and Seven. I couldn't wrap them up. Something else always cried out to be added and the new stuff disrupted the old flow. Now I want to dump the novel again. I'm angry, depressed, and hating the work. I feel the book has taken me hostage. But what if it hadn't? I'd be writing something else. And if it were long enough, I'd be hating that too.

Since January, I've been a writing machine. Three novels, a novella, and two short stories are in various drafts. But without some form of completion, I feel like a guy who always trains but never competes. So there's been a change of plan.

Once I finish the second draft, I will pause. In that pause, I will publish an essay on jury duty that I serialized here two years ago and have subsequently rewritten. It's polished and ready to roll. I was going to marry it to another essay based on my adventures in Southeast Asia searching for an old battlefield. But I'm in dire psychological need of having work up For Sale soon. Then it's back to battling the novel.

Stygian Accepts Horror Novels,

Any cover with my name and a hot spider babe is just fine.

 
According to their blog, R. Scott McCoy and company will be in the market for horror novellas and novels beginning in November. Scott edited the horror magazine Necrotic Tissue and selected my short story, "Dagon and Jill," as Editor's Pick in Issue #13 as well as including it in his Best of Necrotic Tissue Anthology. While we're on the subject, Scott also gave me space for a big gabby interview in Issue #14. Glad to have him back in play.

Scott paid his writers and paid on time. He's a pro and a guy you can work with. So if you're sitting on a long form horror piece, clean up your copy and keep an eye on the Stygian Publications blog for more details.

UPDATE: Submissions accepted beginning November 1. Details at Stygian Publications. 

Cool Gift: Alien PEZ Dispenser

Thanks to Susana Polo at The Mary Sue, I am now aware that there's a plastic Alien figure that dispenses PEZ candy. Who says this nation has run dry of ideas? But don't stop there! High tail it over to the PEZ site and pick up The Hobbit Gift Set. Gandalf, Bilbo Baggins, and Thorin Oakenshield plastic heads await you atop a stack of fine PEZ candies. Hurry Christmas, don't be late.

PEZ Products

Lovecraft Film Fest 2013

Artist: Jason Bradley Thompson

With a  short story ("Dagon and Jill") anchoring The Cthulhu Mythos Megapack, I feel sufficiently drenched in things Lovecraft to promote an upcoming celebration. Billed as "The Only Festival That Understands," this salute to horror author H.P. Lovecraft happens  here in Los Angeles September 27 - 29 at the Warner Grand Theatre in San Pedro.  You'll see long films, short films, as well as hear artists and authors inspired by the Lovecraft canon. And, of course, there's plenty of Lovecraft swag.

Festival organizer Aaron Vanek exceeded his Kickstarter goals and, in the process, made a nifty little film that gives a rundown on the events and places that Lovecraft Lovers will be seeing in ten days.

So barring madness or a mysterious disappearance, you've no reason not to fire up your Model T, load your revolver, practice a few protective spells, and creep on over to the 2013 H.P. Lovecraft Film Festival and CthulhuCon. (Or, if you're Mr. Busy Schedule like me, you can even stream portions of the festival. Isn't that sort of like having a vision?)

Animaniacs Turns Twenty

In September, there are dark memories and light memories. Today falls on the incandescent side as Animaniacs premiered on Fox back in 1993. (As did the X-Files and The Adventures of Brisco County, Jr. Which of those two became a big hit, I wonder?) That same premier week, I believe, there was a huge party celebrating the event on the Warner Bros. lot. Steven Spielberg showed up. Free drinks were available in plastic cups. Then time passed and the show disappeared from the air, but stayed alive thanks to fans and the wonder of YouTube. Now the Warner siblings may be seen in reruns on the Hub.

Happy 20th, Animaniacs, and a shout out to all those who worked on the program.

I'm in the foreground right, across from Tom Ruegger and next to Paul Rugg.

And, especially, a water-tower sized 'thank you' to all the fans who persevered and kept the memory fresh. You rawwwwk! We close now with the Animaniacs Suite.

h/t: TammieRD

Remembering September 11, 2001

K called from Florida, "Planes crashed into the World Trade Center and one of the towers just fell." Unemployed in Los Angeles and half asleep at 7:30 AM, I shuffled downstairs to the TV, past Joy as she prepared for work. At first, all I saw was a dirty cloud obscuring southern Manhattan. Then a stunned announcer said the second tower had just collapsed. Joy joined me, work forgotten as we learned of the attack.

Other friends phoned throughout the day. Paul Rugg speculated about the pilots of the doomed aircraft, certain they weren't Americans forced to crash. TJ, a Vietnam vet, was incensed at the footage of jubilant Palestinians with their candy and AK-47s. He wished he could gift them with a nice buttering of napalm. In a grim mood, I agreed.

Watching TV and power-chewing Nicorette, I mostly felt numb — except when the subject was jumpers. Then I felt horror. Go to work, sip coffee, joke with your pals, then decide whether you'll suffocate, burn alive, or leap a quarter mile to certain death. Questions of etiquette arise: jump solo or hold hands with a co-worker? Perhaps several of you link arms and form a chain, finding courage in numbers. Or do you clutch a table cloth and step into the air, desperately hoping it slows your fall?



The journey takes ten seconds.


Air velocity rips away your shoes.


You explode on impact.


I will always be haunted by the jumpers of 9/11.


Oceans of paper were blasted from the towers, filling the New York sky like the Devil's ticker tape. Invoices and wedding invitations floated down to gray sidewalks.

My friend Cathy, who worked in D.C., reported chaos as the government sent everyone home at once following the Pentagon attack. One jammed intersection turned scary as a man leaped out of an SUV brandishing a pistol and attempting to direct traffic.

Being murdered is not a heroic act, though it can be. Flight 93 passengers fought back and died, saving many more in their sacrifice. North Tower Port Authority employees rescued over 70 people before perishing.


There were many heroes that day.

My sister Mary Pat and I had dinner at a coffee shop. She was passing through town, leaving a job in Mountain View, CA to return to Phoenix. Depressed by the day's events, our meal was not jolly.

Later, Joy tried to give blood, but the hospital was overwhelmed with donations and refused.

Vulnerability, grief, dismay, anger.

Such a beautiful morning with a sky so blue.

(Photos from: Little Green Footballs.)

Repost: Sept. 11, 2008

Update: Strange to reread this. TJ died in 2009 and K passed away just over a year ago. My wife, Joy, and I are doing well, as is Paul Rugg who now rides the train. 

Ink and Alchemy Page Promotes Artists

Emilia Elfe

Who couldn't use a little promo?

On Facebook, the goal of artist Robin Kalinich's Ink and Alchemy is to "encourage, inspire, and transform via networking and social media. I support and promote the work of artists from all over the globe because I believe that a rising tide floats all boats."

And while Ink and Alchemy aims at fine art, More Ink caters to poets and writers of most things written.

When the next rejection notice arrives, go relax among your peers in a place where your efforts are appreciated. You deserve it, artist!

Gothic Wallpaper

wall.alphacoders.com

As I'm writing a horror novel, a suitably dark and macabre image seemed fitting this morning.

Star Trek Reacts to Miley Cyrus

Friend Ken alerted me to the fate of the crew of the Federation starship Enterprise upon viewing the feral gyrations of Miley Cyrus at the MTV Music Awards.


h/t: Aries Head Films 

eBook Novel Writing Update

Novel Writer at Work

Chocked full of metrics, this update celebrated the completion of draft one. At that time I was still aiming for a publication date of August 31.

Then on August 14, I guest posed over at Rachael Rippon's Caravan Girl. There I stated:

"As I prepared to start the second draft, I realized that I wouldn’t meet my initial deadline of August 31. I need time to finish the second draft and let the beta readers do their job while I focus on publishing and marketing. However, I’m certain I’ll upload by September 15. And the organization and metrics I’ve gathered will help me shape the time and focus on what’s important."

September 15 will come and go without seeing my eBook uploaded. Please close your wallets and stow the credit cards. Right now, I'm thinking October 15. But mostly I'm thinking of why I've never completed a novel up to this point: it's a lot of hard work. From a forty page long short story, I've expanded this particular tale to around a 200 page short novel. Characters cry out for more attention, back story, dialogue. Scenes rushed through to reach other scenes must be given their moments. It's easier to nap, read history books, or watch The First 48 than it is for me to craft a novel.

Not that I don't have fun writing. I've been doing it professionally for many years. But there are moments of doubt and hating my own work that lead me to tossing the whole thing into the Tartarus of slain books and starting again on something new. (Oh, the crafty witch called "something new.")

Today I'm on Chapter Five of the second draft and in motion. A third draft may be necessary to make the piece presentable to my beta buddies.

But I'm determined to complete this horror story and see it up on Amazon in time for Halloween.  

Image: Independent Voters of America

Lovecraft, Madness, and Lost Notes

en.wikipedia.org

My cousin James spotted a fascinating Slate article on recently discovered handwritten notes from H.P. Apparently Howard Phillips Lovecraft was living on the edge and used the back of an envelope to catalog thoughts for his 1936 novella, "At The Mountains of Madness."

See the scribbled musings of the master over at Slate's The Vault.

Writing Techniques of Famous Writers

How Hunter S. Thompson crafted his colorful prose is absent.

Interesting to discover how successful writers rolled out the words. Some literally banged them out on a typewriter, while others wrote long-hand. Still others stood or sat or wrote in chaos or skipped lunches with other famous people while they worked.

Here's a quote from Hemingway I liked:

"You write until you come to a place where you still have your juice and know what will happen next and you stop and try to live through until the next day when you hit it again."

I've also found it helpful to leave a little in the tank. My problem is leaving too much in the tank and veering off to other projects. Then I can't find my juice, though it's usually in a large sippie cup.

Read the rest of Maria Popova's article over at brain pickings. 

Image: junglemagazine.com

Rare Peter Hastings, Norm Abram, Freakazoid Photo

From right to left: Peter Hastings, Norm Abram,  Paul Rugg.
Above: John P. McCann (JP Mac) and Jean MacCurdy.

Peter Hastings, Norm Abram and Freakazoid walked into a restaurant . . . and that was it. They had no reservations and were asked to leave, later attending a play on the history of whistling.   

Back in 1996, when a free 90 hours of AOL came with everything you bought, the five of us had dinner at the Huntington Hartford in Pasadena. 

Norm, Paul and Peter were into carpentry. Norm is a master craftsman. But you should know that Paul Rugg and Peter Hastings are immensely practical men, capable of handling the lion's share of household tasks. Should the world again face extinction by water, Paul and Peter could construct very serviceable arks. I would try and avoid drowning by complaining to God about all the people who are worse than me. And Jean would be flying Virgin Atlantic, First Class.

From that dinner, as  Freakazoid! fans might know, came the wonder of Normadeus.

Originally posted as Wood You Look at That?

 (Props to Peter Hastings for locating this snapshot in his voluminous photo archives.)

Rita and Runt Remembered

In collaboration with Max Demski (aka King Yakko), Keeper1st has crafted a player-piano arrangement of "Let's Try for Two" from an Animaniacs' Season One episode entitled,  Phranken-Runt.

Directed by Mike Gerard, the story follows Rita (voiced by Bernadette Peters) and Runt (Frank Welker) as they seek shelter from a storm in the castle of a mad lady scientist (Adrienne Alexander) who is in desperate need of a dog brain.

 

Animaniacs "Phranken-Runt" Recollections

 In addition to the lyrics, this is one of the few episodes where I wrote music. "Rocky Horror" was clearly a musical influence, but that was the extent of it. We weren't trying to slip anything past the censors. Compared to later censors, ours were generally so indulgent that duping them would've reflected badly on us.

I used a cheap little keyboard I had in my office at Warners. Richard Stone accepted my barbaric scratch track and worked his noteworthy magic.

I crafted a couple of Rita and Runt episodes but never met Bernadette Peters. Andrea Romano would always record her over the phone or via balloon or some such old school thing. But I surely enjoyed her singing.

Tom Ruegger came up with the idea of having the rat, Mr. Squeak, constantly slipping on an over waxed floor.

UPDATE: Another influence was Abbot and Costello Meet Frankenstein.

UPDATE: On Facebook Ron O'Dell wrote: "Max made the arrangement. I just arranged to get it to play on a real instrument, recorded it and made the video."

Here is the episode, courtesy of BloodyWellDone.

Seven Pitch Meeting Taboos

Executives at Nickelodeon after Higgins Benzine and I pitched Sea Dentist.

If you're in the aTV animation field, or aspire to be, than pitching original series ideas is a bread-and-butter task. Abundant resources are available to tell you how to nail it. But few take the time to guide you around the rocks and shoals of artless questions often asked in haste and regretted in leisure. Here are a few no-nos culled from novices and veterans alike.

(Originally posted Dec, 2011, I again present my thoughts on seven key sentences that can lead to an EBT card.)

1. Why doesn't this studio ever buy anything I bring in here?
In the animation world, ask and you shall not receive.

2. How many dim bulbs get to make notes on the scripts?
This query ensures you won't remain around long enough to count them.

3. My agent says you have fecal incontinence.
Possibly so, but a seasoned animation veteran leaves medical issues for a more relaxed time.

4. Pilots are for timid losers. People with nuts go directly to 65 half hours.
Brashness can lead to ample free time.

5. I worked hard on this pitch and all you do is smile and nod like a dog hanging out a car window.
Pithy observations are best shared with peers and not animation executives.

6. Hey, this office has a killer view. I can see the car I'm living in!
Sadly, economic prejudice is alive and well in Hollywood.

7. When I worked here before, I would lock my office door and inflate a plastic woman.
This sort of provocative anecdote demands a strong response such as 'be silent and go away now.'

Image:  corcodilos.com

5. I worked hard on this pitch and all you do is smile and nod like a dog hanging out a car window.
Pithy observations are best shared with peers and not animation executives. - See more at: http://writeenough.blogspot.com/2011/12/seven-things-not-to-say-in-pitch.html#sthash.lfofHHzI.dpuf

5. I worked hard on this pitch and all you do is smile and nod like a dog hanging out a car window.
Pithy observations are best shared with peers and not animation executives. - See more at: http://writeenough.blogspot.com/2011/12/seven-things-not-to-say-in-pitch.html#sthash.lfofHHzI.dpuf

5. I worked hard on this pitch and all you do is smile and nod like a dog hanging out a car window.
Pithy observations are best shared with peers and not animation executives. - See more at: http://writeenough.blogspot.com/2011/12/seven-things-not-to-say-in-pitch.html#sthash.lfofHHzI.dpuf

io9 and James Rollins Teach Scifi Exposition Tips

"Here's where you'll live, kids. You did bring a lifetime supply of water? Yes?
Gabby, gabby, talk-talk all trip and now you've nothing to say."

 A problem I'm facing now is how to tease out information without using the dreaded exposition avalanche. Sci-Fi author James Rollins lists a few tips, plus many techniques and tools to smarten up your science fiction—or, in my case, horror—tale so that it shines like the accretion of hydrogen on the surface of a white dwarf star igniting into nova.

On the topic of clunky exposition, Rollins writes:

"The bane to all fiction, no matter the genre, is called “info-dumping.” Whether it’s trying to fill in a character’s backstory or explaining the science behind quantum physics, never stop your story to lecture or teach. So how do you get that necessary information into the book without bringing your story to a grinding halt?

 By remembering the adage: story = conflict. Information should be revealed to the readers through a variety of techniques: shared through an argument between characters, or perhaps teased out within the scope of an action scene, or left unresolved as a tool of suspense. Use that spoonful of sugar to help that medicine go down. And it works. After I wrote my novel Black Order, I received a flurry of emails stating “I never understood quantum mechanics until I read those three pages in your book.'"

Read more over at io9.

Image: mst3

So long, Elmore Leonard

www.theguardian.com

Not long ago, I posted his ten rules for writers. And now he's gone like the cash from a mark's wallet. There's a lengthy article on Elmore Leonard from 2008 that says, in part:

"He has helped shape an entire body of literature and cinema. He has become, in these later years, an iconic cultural reference point: Any quirky violent crime story with punchy dialogue is Dutchesque. When the new version of the video game Grand Theft Auto came out recently, the New York Times said its street patois could "rival Elmore Leonard's." "Pulp Fiction" is the best Elmore Leonard film not written by Elmore Leonard; director Quentin Tarantino acknowledged a "big debt" to him when the film came out. The New Yorker reviewed the Oscar-winning "No Country for Old Men," and said, "If I want wry lawmen and smart, calculating fugitives, I'll get them from Elmore Leonard." (His own books have been turned into films since God was a baby: "Get Shorty," "Jackie Brown," "Out of Sight," "3:10 to Yuma," "Hombre," "Mr. Majestyk.")"

Read the rest at the Washington Post.

Comic Carolla Cracks Crowd-Source Million

fox5sandiego.com

Raising money for another movie, former Acme Comedy comrade Adam Carolla has hauled in a sweet 1.36 million to be exact. According to entertainment media:

"Adam Carolla, who launched his entertainment career as a stand-up comic, has raised $1.36 million via a crowdfunding campaign for a feature film set in the world of comedy clubs.

Carolla, who is using Donald Trump’s Fund Anything site, will write, direct and star in “Road Hard” with plans to begin shooting in December. Story will center on a former standup-turned-sitcom-star who is forced to return to the road after a divorce and the cancellation of his show.

Carolla told Variety that Illeana Douglas, Larry Miller and Phil Rosenthal have been cast and that a host of stand-ups will appear in the film. Kevin Hench, who co-wrote Carolla’s “The Hammer,” will be co-directing and co-writing.

Carolla’s movie campaign reached its $1 million dollar goal in less than 30 days and had hit $1.36 million as of 6 p.m. PDT Monday, the final day of the campaign."

Read the rest at Variety. 

Read Rachael Rippon's Horror Tale 'The Bagman'

Who the deuce is the Bagman? Is giving a teenage girl seven wishes to be used in seven days really a smart idea? Learn why you should watch what you wish for and pay less than a dollar for the info over at Amazon.
 NOTE: Rachael Rippon was kind enough to ask me to guest post on her blog Caravan Girl. In turn, I have promoted her book of my own free will. In addition, I have used the occasion to again plug my post on organizing for writers. Thus, in small ways, does one scribe freely help another in this vast Web of ours. Or we're backscratching. Either way, it works.

Caravan Girl: Organizing for eBook Writers

 My prose organizational musings on Rachael Rippon's blog.

Caravan Girl: Guest Post: Organizing for Writers: Perhaps, like me, organization does not come naturally. And perhaps, like me, you need a kick in the pants on occasion. Even better, perhap...

Tom Ruegger Explains 7D Writing Process

The Big Board at 7D.

Step behind the scenes of an animated TV series over at Cartoonatics.  Learn the subtle interactions that go into crafting a new series for Disney. Complete with illustrations including jazz hands! For example, did you know that attracting good animation writers proceeds thusly:

"Step One To create stories for "The 7D," assemble a team of top-notch animation writers.  Since your budget is limited, offer these writers relatively low salaries but throw in attractive perqs like free bowls of breakfast cereal and unlimited elevator rides to and from the workplace lobby."

More at Cartoonatics.  
 (Image: people.clarkson.edu)

Splatterpunk Microfiction 'Death Honk' Descends on Wattpad

www.fordesigner.com

A neo-noir microfiction morsel. Enjoy a gritty splatterpunk tale of desperation, moral confusion and clown-bear clashes out in the California desert—and all under a 1,000 words.

Death Honk - Page 1 - Wattpad

Angeles Crest 100 Race Report

Ultra marathoner and fellow TNT coach Kiley Akers set out once again to run 100 miles in the San Gabriel Mountains while raising money to fight blood cancers. Check out his heroic exploits.

www.foothillflyers.org

eBook First Draft Finished

writerswin.com

On Monday. That wasn't so bad. In 100 hours over the course of 15 days I wrote 41,862 words. Not all of them stellar, but genuine English words nevertheless. My labors resulted in 170 pages averaging 2,790 words a day with an hourly average of 418. Vital metrics in planning future works.

This week  has passed assembling more research and interviewing people with nautical experience as the shank of my novella takes place aboard a small boat. Researching as much as I can in advance maximizes my interview time and allows me to ask more salient questions.

Next week will see the second draft commenced, followed by Beta reads. While I'm waiting for feedback, it'll be time to finalize cover art, read all 19 pages of the Kindle Direct Publishing contract, and line up reviewers as well as hone my marketing plan.

I am stoked to self-publish. 

Tom Ruegger and 7D Roll Along

New looks for old dwarves. (Animation Magazine)

Over at Cartoonatics, Tom Ruegger displays voice cast and crew photos from the upcoming Disney Junior animated TV series 7D. A fresh take on the old Seven Dwarves of Snow White fame, the show's crew could easily be mistaken for an Animaniacs reunion. Dare I say, they have baloney in their mine.

i09 Presents Scifi Fiction Worldbuilding Don'ts

coolvibe.com

Before you write a great scene with a flying car, Charlie Jane Ander has a few suggestions on how not to craft a futuristic and/or fantasy realm. Hat tip to author Roger Eschbacher who has cobbled together a few worlds of his own.

Radio's Art Bell Back on Sirius in September

Let lovers of remote viewing, alien invasion, creepy federal science projects, and satanic false flag operations celebrate the return of the Master. LA radio in the 90s rocked. Early in the evening there were hours of improvisational gold with Phil Hendrie. However if you were up late or driving home from a party, you could feast upon the sublime genius of Art Bell. In the era of the X-Files, Bell talked all things spooky, paranormal, futuristic, and techie. Callers were divided into two camps: those west of the Rockies and those east of those majestic peaks. Guests ranged from defrocked priests discussing devils in the Vatican to individuals claiming to be from beyond our solar system. Bell's secret was to never openly call anyone a nut.

Say a guest claimed he belonged to a top secret government agency that was able to raise the dead and learn secrets lost to time. Bell would encourage the man with phrases such as, "If what you say is true, that's astounding." That's a line finer than the one crossed by Wallenda over the Grand Canyon. But Art Bell walked it with confidence and style.

I'm glad he's back. Radio just upped its game. And I can't wait to discover what's hot and what's not in the paranormal community.

Update: If you have ten minutes, listen to Art Bell's interview with the antichrist. Art carries this guy. He really keeps the call alive.

h/t: JJPerks

37 Days to Publication #1

This man is a worry eater whom I've hired to devour my doubts.

Since Monday of this week I have written:

A. 17, 073 words.

B. 83 pages.

C. In 50 hours.

This still puts me only about halfway home on Draft 1 of my horror novella. I ran all those marathons back in the day and now the discipline stands me in good stead.

But first drafts are the worst for me and I fear if I do not push, push, push then I'll never finish. My office is a graveyard of books that never made it past draft one. I enjoy rewrites but this is the Dark Night of the Writing Soul.
(Image: thejoyfulorganizer.com)

Paul Rugg's Moving Experience

Paul's view from the train to Los Angeles.

 At his blog, Paul Rugg describes seaside living, bear baiting, and other nuggets of note.

H.P. Lovecraft Mythos eBook Impresses Goodreaders

  When it comes to Lovecraft, nothing says madness like the Megapack. Filled with old school H.P. classics such as "The Dunwich Horror" plus homages like my own "Dagon and Jill," this collection of mythos tales is enough to knock your world spinning into another dimension. (Assuming you'd like that.) See what the Goodreads folk write about this Lovecraftian bonanza.

51 Days to Publication #1 and Heroboy

Time evaporates like water on the devil's head. I write, research, sleep, write, eat Cheetos and watch old movies. Will I publish three books on Amazon in 2013? Below are my thoughts on success. h/t: UnManuel

Old School Sci Fi Cinema Lives!

Go trucking with The Colossal Beast.

If it's a strange movie, involves monsters, motorcycles, chicks running wild; was released by American International Pictures or all of the above it's probably on Psychotronic 16. Stop by for a dose of unheady cinema, LSD educational films, and trailers from the days of yore.

Mythos Safety Matters

www.wallpapername.com

Vital that pedestrians heed clearly posted signs. An unseen mythos menace can often engulf the unwary citizen out for a summer evening stroll.

Heinlein's Five Rules for Writing

Science fiction ace Robert Heinlein composed these aids to crafting the written word  back in 1947:

1. You must write.
2. You must finish what you start.
3. You must refrain from rewriting except to editorial order.
4. You must put it on the market.
5. You must keep it on the market until sold.”

Then he added: “The above five rules really have more to do with how to write fiction than anything said above them. But they are amazingly hard to follow — which is why there are so few professional writers and so many aspirants, and which is why I am not afraid to give away the racket!” More on the subject here.

Publishing Update

www.authormedia.com

Insomnia pays! Couldn't sleep early this morning so instead of gnashing my teeth—which hurts—I got up and started writing. Dashed out almost two thousand words on eBook number one before heading to the gym.

So here's the update. I have rough outlines on three full-length novels. But I realize now I might only get one up on Amazon Kindle Direct by my deadline. I want three. So I'm parking all three books and devoting my efforts to expanding and publishing a long short story, Bane Fish. (First fiction work I ever sold.) That'll be book one.

The second book will be a collection of unpublished long and short stories that fall into the category of dark urban fantasy.

The third book will consist of my jury duty tale plus an expanded version of my 2002 trip to Vietnam in search of a battlefield.

Most of the material is already present in some form. (I always find it easier to rewrite than to write.) So I'm moving, typing, slugging down the joe.

This is going to happen! Will they make any money? Can't say, but they will be published!