Top 5 Dating Tips of H.P. Lovecraft

The Booty King

The Creepy Horror Writer? 

Yes, the very same. Now, for the first time ever, you may obtain a free pdf listing the smoking hot insight and moves that makes the name "Lovecraft" synonymous with "chick magnet."

All it will cost is your email. A small price to pay for the carnal knowledge nuggets awaiting you from the author of "The Call of Cthulhu," "The Dunwich Horror" and other eerie tales. 

Yes, I Want! Do I Proceed by the Light of a Gibbous Moon?

Fortunately, the Internet is not on a lunar cycle so it's easier than that. Faster, too. In fact, snagging these free steamy hacks is simpler than finding a poet in a madhouse. Click over to this site—landing page, actually—then click a big button. (Mind your spam folder.) You're in the pipeline, not just for H.P., but also for intelligence such as this:

Book Cover Design Services

DEATH HONK LAUNCHES!

My dark fantasy collection of stories written over the last decade—some of you have sampled the selection—is now available in ebook form over on Apple, Barnes & Noble's Nook, Kobo—for my English-speaking friends in other lands—and Angus and Roberston, serving the reading needs of Down Under for any number of years. And more markets are inbound!

Stories of fright, crime, retribution, poetic justice, idiocy in high places, are on discount pre-order this very moment up to the official launch date of December 26. Then add a buck. 

Death Honk, in sturdy ebook format, will be on sale December 26 at Amazon. (I could've preordered on Amazon via Kindle Direct Publishing, but then my book is exclusive to the Amazon colossus for three months. Since they only control 90% of the book market, they can do that. In my small way, I have objected.)

Softcover versions should be out shortly in early January. 

Brandi Doane McCann—oddly enough, not a relative—designed the cover art. Visit her site over at Book Cover Design Services. Scroll down and admire Death Honk amidst the other fine cover art. Brother and sister writers, you could do much worse than allowing Brandi to design your cover. 

And with that, I bid you a healthy and happy fifteenth day of December. God speed on your many tasks and obligations.

Paul Rugg and I are Hired at Warner Bros. v. 4

 

And I Have the Memories to Prove It

Today, December 16, marked 27 years since Paul Rugg and I were offered jobs at Warner Brothers TV Animation. We were over at Paul's house watching Zontar: Thing From Venus, drinking coffee, eating chocolate donuts, and smoking. We'd just turned in scripts for some new show called Animaniacs. (Mine was "Draculee, Draculaa.") Paul's wife was off earning money as a social worker, while my future wife was still employed at the magazine I'd quit two months earlier. Rugg and I were performing improv and sketch comedy at the Acme Comedy Theatre. (Along with cast member Adam Carolla.) Money was very tight. The payment for one script would really help out my Christmas. 

Then Kathy Page, Tom Ruegger's assistant, called to offer us staff jobs and the trajectory of our lives veered sharply into an unexplored cosmos.

We were amazed, stunned, numb. Walking outside, we smoked more and talked it over. Should we take the jobs or would they pollute our comedy pureness by turning it commercial? We would accept the work immediately. 

Now it all seems opaque. If it weren't for the Web and talking to Paul Rugg yesterday, I'd swear the whole experience never happened. But I'm glad it did. (Paul, too.)  So thanks to Tom and Sherri Stoner. (And her husband, M.D. Sweeney, our Acme director, who recommended us.)

Note: After thirteen years of blogging, I'm running out of life events to chronicle.

Notes: 2019

A little hyperbole last year. I have plenty of life events and more on the way. Now then, Paul's episode was about a pet shop, I believe. In 1991 I wrote on a Mac Classic. (They look so quaint now, like a fancy radio from 1938.) Jeffrey Dahmer, Silence of the Lambs, Thelma and Louise, the unraveling of the Soviet Union and the number of computers on the newly commercialized Web reached one million.

Not mine, but similar.

Notes: 2020

What a year! (Wednesday will be 29 years, but close enough.) Pandemics, riots, politics. It's like 1968 on crystal meth. What's new? Well. You can now obtain the Top 5 Dating Tips of H.P. Lovecraft. Yes, that weird horror guy. For details, go to this nifty spot. 

Famous People Born on My Birthday v. 6

What is different today from 2018, the last year I asked that rhetorical question? last year? Other than the Chinese COVID virus, riots, shut-downs, controversial elections? Well, my health is hanging in there. Facebook and I don't get along very well anymore. 

And I'm preparing to publish a collection of short horror stories due out December 26 in ebook form on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Apple, Kobo and more. I've got a dandy cover and just need an editorial review to ignite the soft cover publication. (Click here to leave your email and I'll let you know the when's and where's.)

These people were also born on December 5th. Mostly giddy-looking young people , how many have you heard of? Here's a more mature list. A fine weekend to all!

Thank you very much to all who have, so far, wished me Happy Birthday. In thinking of this day, I am reminded of several famous Americans who share my date of birth. I will list three and examine their accomplishments as compared to mine.

1. Martin Van Buren - b. Dec. 5, 1782

2. George Armstrong Custer - b. Dec. 5, 1839

3. Walt Disney - b. Dec. 5, 1901

4. John P. McCann - b. Dec. 5, 1952

1. Martin Van Buren succeeded greatly in becoming the 8th President of the United States but was hardly remembered even in his own day. He had a large bull frog stuffed and used as an ink well in the White House. However President Taft later sat on it by accident and they had to throw the thing out. That's about it.

2. George Armstrong Custer succeeded greatly as a soldier in the Civil War but had a mixed record fighting Indians. (1-1-2, I think.) He is best remembered for his  spectacular fail at the Battle of the  Little Big Horn. At first, everything was going well; then it all fell apart under an Indian tsunami. In later years, Custer had a park named after him as well as a monument and a movie where his part was played by Errol Flynn. That's a whole lot more than Van Buren ever got.

3. Walt Disney succeeded greatly in animation, a pioneer in the field, creator of iconic characters—but not the word 'iconic' which has been seized upon by junior execs.—established Disney studios and Disneyland and is fondly remembered to this day. Nonetheless his body is frozen in a vault beneath Disney's Burbank lot and should Walt be reanimated and start making decisions again it could effect his legacy.

4. John P. McCann was greatly successful as a Hollywood atmosphere player. McCann was the ship-board stand-in for a Canadian actor portraying Errol Flynn in My Wicked, Wicked Ways. In addition, he is visible catching Dennis Quaid's jacket at around 1:19 in a clip from  Great Balls of Fire.
More successful in animation, McCann created the non-iconic character of The Huntsman. For the next fifteen years, he piggy-backed onto as many successful shows as his friends would allow. While the record is still being written, outsiders agree that McCann will be remembered by Bank of America and several other creditors who might reasonably feel aggrieved should he pass from the scene within the next several months.

Images: whitehouse.gov, Parcbench, fold3

Hot New eBook Cover

 

 Photo by Emily Morter

Why place a question mark on a collection of short horror stories? I'm not. But since Draft2Digital bounced my old cover for murky reasons, I've been compelled to commission a new one. So far, I'm liking the new direction.

Still trouble with Facebook. Now it requires a new password every time I try to log in, insisting that the current p-word is old or unrecognizable. Every time. Even if I just changed it the last time I logged onto either my personal account and/or author page. Every stinking time.

Click Contact Me on my JP Mac website. Send an email and I'll fill you in on launch details. I'm still thinking an ebook release on December 26 on Amazon and Draft2Digital. Softcover books should be along around mid-January 2021.

Other than that, everything's dishy.

Fifteen Years Ago on Thanksgiving Day

Ancient Blogging: 2005

Yes, the Internet Existed Then

I was living in a house and training for my first marathon. I'd been blogging for ten days at this point and didn't think much of it.  Here's what I had to say:

This morning I met some chums from Team in Training. We ran a 5K (3.1 mile) race in La Cañada, a northern LA suburb. I'd driven through there several times. The little hills sloped gradually, so it appeared. I predicted EZ running. Oh, they were sly, unpleasant hills. Steeper than they looked. Finish-time eaters. If it were possible, I'd cuff them sharply. 

This was very much a neighborhood race: families, parents with strollers, teenage girls running five across, and people running with leashed dogs — which I don't get. Walk the dog or run the race. Later, Ronald MacDonald — clown, spokesman, bon vivant — led youngsters in a warm up prior to a children's race. After that, a child warmed up Ronald MacDonald prior to a fast food spokesman's race. In any event, Happy Thanksgiving!

Despite sore arthritic knees, I'm grateful for the many good things in my life. And I still wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving!

Facebook-Writing-Running Updates Galore

 Let's be clear: Facebook still sucks. I believe my Ad Blocker is the reason they're giving me so much grief of late. (This would be the Ad Blocker I've been using for years.) I can no longer administer my JP Mac Author Page without being told I need a new email. Once I change the email, I'm informed I need a new email. They task me, these beetling tech people, skulking behind their algorithms.

Look to the right of this page. You will see the title for Death Honk. My collection of nine short stories will go live on December 26. What an excellent chance to use the Christmas gift cards received from relatives too busy to inquire what you actually enjoy. Amazon goes live on that date. But thanks to Draft2Digital, there will be a preorder sale starting next week for purchases on on Barnes & Noble, Apple, Kobo and other sites. In the next few days I'll provide compelling information on how to interact with these mysterious, weird, shocking, humorous tales.

Now let your eyes stray down from the book cover. You will see a listing for Pages. There will be two listings. One will read: On the Road with JP Mac. After many years, I've created a separate page for my running updates. Visit, note the incidents, comment if you will. Change is in the air and in my pockets, jiggling merrily.

Happy B-Day, Devil Dogs!

 

Here's a short article commemorating the Marine Corps on their 235th birthday. Best wishes to all Leathernecks past and present. (Photo: Acclaim Images)    

Note: A decade has passed since the above post, hence 245th birthday would be more appropriate. 

Facebook Sucks

My author page is flawed. Click on it and see if you're taken to JP Mac's Author Page. You might be. Or you might see a page for Facebook business. 

This nonsense has been going on for months. The page won't load. I'm not allowed to administer. A stinking Facebook business page appears. My password is not recognized. My new password is not recognized. Furthermore, I'm not alone. Many small independent businesses are not being allowed in to their pages and can't get a helpful word from Facebook. 

I probably can't get in to cancel my own page.

On Facebook, I AM THE PRODUCT. Here are other depressing reasons why Facebook is no good. 

For now, I'll direct traffic to my website. But there must be something better out there. I will investigate. 

Pinterest 

Conquer Catalina Island Virtual Challenge

Conquer Catalina Island Virtual Challenge: The Conquer Catalina Island Virtual Challenge is on Thursday October 1, 2020 to Thursday December 31, 2020.

I sneered at such activities as a virtual challenge. But in the absence of true road races, my wife, Joy, and I are onboard for a hundred miles. In return for our efforts, we receive durable electronic trophies plus a tee-shirt.

What's amazing is that even a fey virtual challenge goads my big ass out of the chair and onto the road. I'm running a bit more per week, gradually increasing speed.

So on we go. I'm over 30 miles, a quarter finished. Updates here on this fine blog. 

 

Book Review: The Man in the High Castle

 

The Man in the High Castle by Philip K. Dick
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

President-Elect Franklin Roosevelt is assassinated in Miami. Isolationism dominates American politics. The Nazis prevail in North Africa and link up with the Japanese in India. Russia collapses. Washington D.C. disintegrates under a Nazi hydrogen bomb. World War II ends in 1947 with Germany, Japan (and Italy) victorious.

Such is the world of 1962 San Francisco where curio salesman Robert Childan labors to please his mostly Japanese clients. Among them are Nobusuke Tagomi, an influential trade minister whose career is guided by the ancient Chinese book of divination, the I Ching.

Also dependent on the book's forecasts is judo instructor Juliana Frink. She lives in a puppet buffer zone between the Japanese West Coast and the German-controlled Mid-West, South and East. An encounter with a man claiming to be an Italian truck driver leads Juliana to read a fascinating—yet banned—book in which the allies win the second world war.

Using rapid POV shifts, Dick whisks us between characters as Juliana's husband struggles back in San Francisco to manufacture original jewelry while hiding his Jewish blood. At the same time, Juliana and the truck driver set off on a road trip to locate the banned book's author. Meanwhile, Tagomi facilitates a meeting between Japanese and German intermediaries working to derail a diabolical plot that could plunge the world into another terrible war.

Dick parcels out the backstory while keeping the narrative hot. His shifts in POV sometimes lost me, as did his stylized dialogue for certain inner monologues. And I wasn't sure what role the I-Ching played, other than to suggest the future is fluid, other worlds possible.

As one character mulls, "Evidently we go on, as we always have. . . . But we cannot do it all at once; it is a sequence. An unfolding process. We can only control the end by making a choice at each step."

Great alternative history with a tart blend of science fiction and mysticism.

View all my reviews

Book Review: The Disappeared

 

The Disappeared by Roger Scruton
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

In and around the Angel Towers housing project five lives intertwine: two men, two women, and a young girl. In a decaying society, these characters seek safety, freedom, love, and meaning. Around them, the customs and traditions of England are being overwritten by multiculturalism, as well as dark new practices that exploit the gaps in a society struggling with mass immigration from tribal cultures.

Powerful and disturbing, this fiction weaves together the characters' fates in a world where the past is fading and the future seems dismally opaque. As teacher Stephen concludes, "The Christian religion, he decided, was the heart of our civilization. This heart had grown old and weak, and culture had been put in the place of it. But the heart transplant didn't take, and our civilization, after gasping for a while, had died."

Stephen finds himself drawn toward protecting a young student, Sharon, from a rape gang. In doing so, he soon experiences emotional conflict that, if unchecked, could destroy his career and land him in jail.

At the same time, Justin, a rising star in the field of green energy, becomes enamored with beautiful intelligent Muhibbah. Having spurned her Afghan family's suffocating ways, Muhibbah seemed destined to excel in modern society. But Justin soon learns, that this enchanting woman is a hive of unwholesome secrets.

At the same time, accountant Laura flees the embers of a dashed romance, going to work for Justin. But her safety is jeopardized after a criminal element mistakes Laura for another woman.

Scruton's deep, well-crafted tale eventually comes full-circle. And while I had some difficulty with the time frame, and the puzzling use of second person for one character, the author's ability to forge empathy was excellent.

The writing is powerful. The imagery strong as in this passage describing Angel Towers: "All the surfaces were covered with the same black graffiti, a repeated pattern that, in its meaninglessness, seemed to exude a bestial anger. It was as though worms had been spat on this wall, spoiling its unclaimed spaces, and preventing any human thought from breeding there."

A suitable read for lovers of literature, as well as a good book for discussions of our post-modernist world.

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