Tuesday, January 07, 2020

What's the Matter with Smashwords?


Youtube

Ebook Antidote to Amazon Dominance


Yesterday, I basked warmly in the fine sales of my prostate book. Two more positive reviews popped up from men either in the cancer pipeline or on the brink. Good me. Nice me. But then I thought, whaz'sup with Smashwords?

Nothing at all from what I can tell. In the world of ebooks, they offer such worthy features as presales, discount coupons, and access to markets like Barnes and Noble, Apple Books and Kobo. Essentially, Smashwords is a large portion of the twelve percent of the ebook market not dominated by Amazon Kindle.

Anti-Marketing Campaign Drawbacks


Which returns me to my original point. I'm such a marketing Luddite when it comes to my own books—possibly a reaction from having worked in marketing—that I fail to wrest full advantage from all the open venues. Yes, Kindle is King. But if authors don't wish it to become god-emperor, then it would be wise to foster competition. 

A side order of oppression, please.


The Federal Bureau of Rapid Nourishment

Imagine a favorite coffee shop. Now picture that establishment owned and operated by the federal government.  Would your French Toast and bacon be cooked to order? Would unionized wait staff with faces like Greta Thunberg provide crisp, efficient service? Ponder such a world.

Eat Out Launching This Month

In January, I will release a solo short fiction piece. Instead of publishing on Amazon and forgetting about it for several years, I'll release "Eat Out" to pre-order on Smashwords. This horror tale about genetic engineering and unintended consequences will feature a discount coupon. I'll explain more as soon as I figure out how they work. 

(One might always check out my author Facebook page where updates thrive, awaiting your perusal. Do sign-up and stay abreast of my writerly doings.)

Saturday, January 04, 2020

Fear of Elderly Male Runners


WBUR Maybe it wasn't this crowded. 

Running in Early 2020

Normally, I don't run Saturdays and I most certainly don't run in Griffith Park. Like the Rose Bowl, the park's trails are alive with runners, almost all of whom are faster than I. One also encounters a fair number of runner/dog walkers.

Gerontophobia


Alamy There was a dog, too, and no track. Just read the copy
Leading a little mutt on a leash, this chick in her thirties zipped past me. Fine. I'm used to it. A few hundred yards ahead, she slows and allows her mutt to nose around the leaves on the side of the trail. I continue on pace. But as I near her location, she tugs the dog by the leash. "Come on." Off she goes at a good clip. Whatever. I continue on pace. Rounding a curve, I spot her again, letting the mutt sniff away near a telephone pole. This time I ran past her. Behind me I hear, "Come On." Yanking the dog along, she speeds up to pass me. This time the woman burned some calories. At one point, she turned around and checked the distance between us. Then I lost sight of her.

When young male runners find themselves passed by young female runners they call it being "chicked," I believe there's a corollary. Gerontophobia is fear of the elderly. From my observations, I suspect certain young women detest being passed by older men or "fossiled." Having coined the phrase, I will now translate it with my college German:

 Befürchtungen Alte Männer


Brittanica A German scholar.
Nothing says dead serious like a German translation. So now you know two words and a phrase to describe the aforementioned condition:

1. Gerontophobia - far too formal.
2. Fossiled - Just the right touch of breezy American slang.
3. Befürchtungen Alte Männer - Only if you enjoy being a snotty show-off.

Choose whatever you will, but I suspect such a phobia may've been in play on this chilly morning.

Black Days in 2018

Without creating a link web that no one ever follows, 2018 was a brutal year for my physical fitness. In toting up my 2019 mileage, I noticed I didn't really start fully running until July. (That means running my training distance with zero miles walking.) Curious, I checked my stats for '18. In June, I injured my good right leg—not the benighted left leg—climbing over a construction fence. And that was it. Save for a brief half-mile, I did not run again for six months. And I did not resume where I left off for over a year. No wonder I weighed 271 pounds.

More news on a possible marathon coming soon. Soon. Oh, so very soon. Did I tease it enough? SEO, SEO, click, link, SEO.

Wednesday, January 01, 2020

New Decade Fun


mediascape.com

Theoretical fun, that is. May your new year/decade be productive and interesting. 

Tuesday, December 31, 2019

Year and Decade in Review


You Only Get the 1990s Once


Now THAT was a sweet decade, followed by the roller coaster ride of the oughts. Still, as the old saying goes, at least I had my health—until 2009. Now we review the tens.

As decades unfold, 2010 to 2019 covered the spread from miserable suckery on multiple fronts to a serene stability that I have yet to take for granted. Rating ten years in football terms, I'd be 4 - 5 - 1.

Health


spring.org.uk
I entered the tens in physical therapy from my 2009 left knee surgery. (My orthopedist said I'd never run again. For six years, it looked like he was right.) But a right shoulder injury was blossoming. I began physical therapy, but would need surgery in 2011. In 2012, I developed skin cancer and required Mohs surgery on my nose. Then came 2014 and my diagnosis with prostate cancer, subsequent surgery and a number of complications. In 2016, a health upswing kicked in, interrupted by a fractured left arm in 2017, then a 2018 right knee injury unrelated to sports but not stupidity. That scrubbed running for half the year. At last, this year, running picked up again and stayed consistent

Over the decade, my  weight fluctuated, with gains, slight losses, then more gains, always trending upwards. This March I peaked at 271 pounds. My chins gave my face a soft rounded appearance like mascot for a French tire company. Fortunately, with diet and exercise, I've dropped 34 pounds and start the new year with hopes of cutting another 30 in the upcoming year.

Running


republic
Proving my orthopedist wrong motivated me in 2010. Running started out rather well. I'd taken a few lessons in chi running, read the book, cross-trained, and commenced a schedule of walking and running. In July 2010, I ran a 5k, finishing under 30 minutes for the last time. A month later, pain swelled up in the left knee. (Poor chi running form was the culprit.) I backed off running for the rest of the year, cross-trained, put on weight, then, in 2011, started building up to three miles again. That May I injured myself again. The same month I mostly walked a 5k, my last for the next five years. Running ebbed and flowed in-between operations, more injuries and depression.

In 2016, as my weight continued to climb, I committed to walking 3x a week. Eventually, I took up chi running once more, finished a 5k in April and went on to regular running 3x a week. For most of that time, I did not record my times. I figured that way I wouldn't be tempted to overtrain. I was jazzed just to be running steady again.

In 2019, I decided to record times, try and improve. My first 5k in January I averaged 14 minute miles. My last 5k in November, I averaged 11:17. In 2020, I'm already signed up to run the same 5k in January and a 10k in May. If I can increase my distance and speed without injuring myself, I might venture another marathon in late fall.

Writing


brainpickings.org
 In 2010, my animation writing career sank like a cinderblock. No work, maybe one job interview. Yet, I was writing and selling short stories, jokes, essays, along with completing a novella, and putting up 338 blog posts with comments and everything. Alas, this was the high-water mark of blogging. In years to come, social media would gobble up the Web. At the same time, our money ran out and credit card debt swelled.

Wife Joy found only part-time work at irregular intervals. In 2011, I was hired by a group of marketers, writing copy for various products. I continued in their service for the next four years, occasionally snagging a courtesy union writing project, but, otherwise an unemployable man in his late 50s, early 60s.

By 2013, I'd written several drafts of short novels and decided to embrace the wonderful, overcrowded world of ebooks. I took an extended blog post of my 2011 jury duty experience and built it into an ebook. Since then, I've written several fiction and non-fiction books, novellas, and essays. The best seller is my autobiography on prostate cancer which has sold several hundred copies. In 2020, I hope to add an audio version to the ebook and softcover.

Joy landed a full-time job in 2016 as a technical writer. It paid pretty good. Around the same time, I retired from TV animation. A small annuity showed up in my bank account every month. In early 2018, Joy traded up, finding a position at a firm right near our home. For the first time in years, we didn't sweat the monthly bills and started paying down the fat blob of credit card debt we'd run up over the last five years. We bought new clothes and took vacations once again. How very posh.

Welcome 2020


So there you are. Ten rather interesting years, more down than up, but ending on a high note. I hope I'm still around to chronicle my path in the 20s. Blogs will probably be obsolete. I'll have to implant my notes directly into your mind with technology yet to be invented. Or else I'll just write a seasonal letter.

OL27deviantart

Sanskrit Wisdom for the New Year

Happy New Year Live

Sanskrit Proverb

Look to this day,
For it is life,
The very life of life.
In its brief course lie all
The realities and verities of existence.
The bliss of growth,
The splendor of action,
The glory of power—

For yesterday is but a dream,
And tomorrow is only a vision.
But today, well lived,
Makes every yesterday a dream of happiness
And every tomorrow a vision of hope.
Look well, therefore, to this day.

Happy Darn New Year!

Wednesday, December 25, 2019

Merry Christmas 2019

A Christmas Twist

A past blast from Animaniacs and a big old Merry Christmas to all! On our way into Mass this morning, my wife twisted her ankle. That put a round through the head of cooking. But our guests were understanding and we'll be dining out, crutches and walking boots included. 


Sunday, December 22, 2019

Indie Author Christmas Gifts 2019


A Yuletide Boon to Authors and Others

My God, where did the decade scamper away to? Nonetheless, if an element of Christmas involves the giving of gifts, then consider surprising someone with the works of an indie author. They struggle, they labor, they produce, often in the stillness of anonymity. Bring a smile to the visage of a struggling scribe. I've either read the books listed below, or other works by these authors, and vouch for them as worthy of bestowing upon the special people in your life. Read on, I say!

Ghost Star in Softcover and eBook Formats

Space adventures await!



Actor and fellow animation scribe Roger Eschbacher propels us to the very antipodes of outer space via the saga of young Galen Bray, captain of the vessel Ghost Star. Galen is bound for vengeance on his quest to rescue his sister from the grasp of a ruthless alien band. But much more is discovered in surprising fashion as Galen encounters a mysterious race and the compelling choice of whether to pursue his own destiny.  






Hidden Truth Trilogy with Hardcover Option

Mysteries Abound!




If anyone should write sci-fi thrillers, its Hans G. Schantz. Hans is a bona fide scientist, a trained theoretical physicist with a brain weighing over twenty pounds—according to something I read on the Web. In any case, his Hidden Truth series follows the scrapes of a young protagonist who learns that certain scientific theories are being methodically scrubbed from public awareness. Peter's search for the truth pits him against a vile conspiracy intent on controlling past knowledge to secure future power. With the help of friends, he races to stay one step ahead of the bad guys and learn the very secrets they wish to conceal.



Year on the Desert Unveils Subtle Unseen Dramas

A dry read worth perusing.



There's more to our arid landscapes than seems apparent. Fairy shrimp live out their brief lives in a rain pool. Fearsome tarantulas fall victim to huge wasps. Water triggers the migration of millions of butterflies. The American desert's harsh conditions bring forth innovative natural responses in this study by science writer and biologist Barbara Goodheart. This illustrated paperback is a great read for kids 10 and up, as well as Mom and Dad. 





Place Outside the Wild Also Available in Audiobook

When Zombies Attack!



Daniel Humphrey's four books plunge you into the zombie apocalypse as a handful of survivors confront the wicked among them while fending off hordes of the shambling undead. A 2017 Dragon Award finalist, this first book introduces readers to the community of Hope. Subsequent books reveal that the zombie menace is evolving and only greater risk on humanity's part will ensure survival. A fast-moving, fun read. 





Aurora's Gold Mines Adventure

Gold in them thar seas.



Dredge or fall for Aurora Darling as she battles business and relationship issues in Nome, Alaska. Penned by tech writer and former Russian linguist K.J. Gillenwater, this tale of a  family's livelihood at risk finds Aurora taking a chance on a mysterious man who may just have the skills she needs to uncover gold and save all that Aurora holds dear. But can she overcome the yearnings of her own heart in a world of greed and betrayal? 





And if that's not enough, here are 20 Christmas Gifts for the writer in your life, as well as a rich collection of gifts for readers.

Ah, well, a trove of items. Choose none or all or somewhere in-between.

Monday, December 16, 2019

Paul Rugg and I are Hired at Warner Bros. v.3





And I Have the Memories to Prove It

Today, December 16, marked 27 years since Paul Rugg and I were offered jobs at Warner Brothers TV Animation. We were over at Paul's house watching Zontar: Thing From Venus, drinking coffee, eating chocolate donuts, and smoking. We'd just turned in scripts for some new show called Animaniacs. (Mine was "Draculee, Draculaa.") Paul's wife was off earning money as a social worker, while my future wife was still employed at the magazine I'd quit two months earlier. Rugg and I were performing improv and sketch comedy at the Acme Comedy Theatre. (Along with cast member Adam Carolla.) Money was very tight. The payment for one script would really help out my Christmas. 

Then Kathy Page, Tom Ruegger's assistant, called to offer us staff jobs and the trajectory of our lives veered sharply into an unexplored cosmos.

We were amazed, stunned, numb. Walking outside, we smoked more and talked it over. Should we take the jobs or would they pollute our comedy pureness by turning it commercial? We would accept the work immediately. 

Now it all seems opaque. If it weren't for the Web and talking to Paul Rugg yesterday, I'd swear the whole experience never happened. But I'm glad it did. (Paul, too.)  So thanks to Tom and Sherri Stoner. (And her husband, M.D. Sweeney, our Acme director, who recommended us.)


Note: After thirteen years of blogging, I'm running out of life events to chronicle.

Notes: 2019

A little hyperbole last year. I have plenty of life events and more on the way. Now then, Paul's episode was about a pet shop, I believe. In 1991 I wrote on a Mac Classic. (They look so quaint now, like a fancy radio from 1938.) Jeffrey Dahmer, Silence of the Lambs, Thelma and Louise, the unraveling of the Soviet Union and the number of computers on the newly commercialized Web reached one million.

Not mine, but similar.

Friday, December 13, 2019

Horror: California Now on Kindle



Now on Amazon in Kindle Format.

Noble Anthology Includes MY Story


I am a bit prejudiced when it comes to my short stories in print. Even if you haven't been waiting, pretend you have for the glee that comes with anticipation fulfilled. Here in Kindle, among other tales, waits "Mark of the Bruja." When an ancient evil nests inside a Hollywood apartment, only a narcissistic director and a drunken housepainter stand a shot at stopping the ghastly murder of children.

A softcover version of the anthology is rumored in the works from Soteira Press, but I can't say more and wouldn't since I have no good information on the subject.

Update: Scratch that rumor. The softcover edition is available for your post-holiday horror reading.


Wednesday, December 11, 2019

Tuesday, November 26, 2019

Short Story Sale Back in the Day


Ah,  2009


Obama, Madoff, Sully Sullenburger, the Underwear Bomber, Avatar, over 9% unemployment, Yankees win the World Series, and I sell my first short fiction piece. And now a decade has passed. I was a blogging machine back then with 29 posts in November alone and a record 365 posts for the year. I was also posting on another blog and working vigorously on my Ten-in-Six plan.

After selling a short story in 2012, I abandoned shorts in favor of fiction novel first drafts. The results were fantastic. From 2013 to 2018, I completed two or three novel first drafts per year. Like the lazy slug I am, only a handful have seen publication as essays or novellas or actual books - a parody, a horror novel, and an autobiography.

Dismayed, I focused this year on short stories. And while I've only sold one, it felt quite pleasing to notch a sale for the first time in seven years. "Mark of the Bruja" will appear in the Horror: California anthology due out soon. Can an arrogant young playwright and a drunken old house painter stop an ancient evil from nesting in a Hollywood apartment building?



Pick up a copy, read, enjoy.

In the meantime, I type away, attempting to complete a short story that has grown into a novella. Provided I don't fall back into old habits of sloth characterized by web surfing dolphin videos and fat people skate boarding, I should publish by the end of January.

An unwritten plan of action is a wish list.


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