Physical Therapy Graduation

Once again, finishing up physical therapy tomorrow. The tendinitis in my shoulder is mostly cleared up, with pain down to a twinge. However, my knee has been sore the last few days. I walked briefly today. I'll rest up and ice through next Tuesday before I attempt another walk. Anyway, glad to be done with therapy, though I'll miss the therapists. They made pain fun.

Live Blogging My Call With the Franchise Tax Board

1111 AM: You have reached the Franchise Tax Board. For our menu in English press one. For our menu in different languages including Pig Latin and Esperanto, press two. (I press one.)

1112 AM: For individuals broken under the millstone of the state, press one. For businesses, press two. To be instantly disconnected, press three. (I press two.)

1113 AM: For a complicated electronic menu that addresses all needs but yours, press one. Otherwise, wait on the line for an operator. Your estimated wait will be ten minutes in geological time. (I wait, trying to figure out how long ten geological minutes might be. I'm not encouraged.)

1119 AM: Muzak consists of soothing New Age melodies, lots of harp and Celtic drum. It sounds like the LOR underscore when Frodo visited various Elf Towns. I'm nodding off. Drool rolls down the corner of my mouth like a gentle Elven waterfall.

1134 AM: I awake with a snort, my sweatshirt soaked. The music is fading, dying out. Excitement builds. But then the muzak swells. False alert. I eat a whole-wheat waffle.

1146 AM: The music changes to a peppy Calypso beat alive with steelpan, bongos and flute. I'm happy. I'm on vacation, dancing on the sand in a large straw hat. But then, I catch myself. I'm on the phone waiting for the Franchise Tax Board. No one dances to that. No one good.

1152 AM: Another false alert. But this time I refuse to be baited into hope.

1158 AM: A ring tone! A man's voice! Hello, this is Pembry Teal, workstation number 8925, how may I assist you?

Me: Please don't leave me! Please. I want to see if an estimated tax check cleared.

Pembry: Sir, please don't plead. We're trained to react to pleading as if it were a dodge used by cheaters to avoid tax liability.

Me: I withdraw my plea. I'm a regular guy, checking on a check. Is that Okay?

Pembry: (Long sigh.) Don't be cute or coy or use irony or sarcasm, sir. We're trained to react to these tones as if they were dodges used by cheaters to avoid tax liability.

1201 PM: (I give Pembry my tax ID, name and address of corporation. There is no inflection in my voice whatsoever, nothing that would activate Pembry's hair-trigger cheater alert.)

Pembry: Sir, there is no indication that you ever sent a check.

Me: What if I send another one before March 15?

Pembry: Is this a ruse to avoid tax liability?

Me: No. I want to send you money.

Pembry: Very well. But add a $35 penalty for failure to pay 2009 estimated tax.

Me: But I paid it! Someone lost the check, either the post office or you guys. Why do I have to pay more for government mistakes?

Pembry: This is tax dodge talk.

Me: Okay, okay. Thirty-five bucks.

Pembry: Send it before March 15 or there will be further penalties. I won't say 'good-bye' or 'have a nice day' because I believe you're a slick avoider of liabilities, a sand crab hiding in the glove box of efficient government.

Me: 'Sand crab?'

(Disconnect.)

Kiley Talks Trail

Race report from the San Juan Trail 50K.

'Tron Legacy' Trailer This Exit

Turn here. But why?

h/t: Hot Air

Colin Back From Combat Ops

Still in-country, Colin Wells returned to base from operations with the Strykers in Afghanistan. On Facebook, he mentioned being displeased that Hurt Locker won best picture. I've heard this view from other soldiers and marines who feel the film disses them as adrenaline junkies and violence freaks. I suppose Hurt Locker is to the war, what Slap Shot was to semi-pro hockey. Nonetheless, a sigh of relief that Colin is Okay.

'Up' it is.

Best Picture award to Pixar...again!
h/t: Amy Kane

Link to I Ate Victor Hugo's Brain

Check out Maz' artwork; worthy of a visit for the title alone.

Chad Vader Video

Some funny moments, though these guys did it better, faster.

h/t: blamesocietyfilms via Tammy Bruce

In Addition

to the growing list of people I know competing in the rain this weekend, Ernesto ran 16 miles in preparation for the LA Marathon, looming on the running horizon - provided he avoids pneumonia.

Tri and Ultra Marathon

Physical therapist Glenn, who has kneaded me fiercely, braves the stormy elements tomorrow at the UCLA IronBruin triathlon. He likes the short tris — half-mile swim, 12 miles on the bike and a 5K run. Mayhap the current downpour will pass. Good luck Glenn!

Others have no meteorological hope, only today's heavy slanting rain. Kiley Akers battles such elements in the Cleveland National Forest, running 31, elevation-packed miles at the San Juan Trail 50K. As much as I've written about Team in Training, Kiley's written more in this essay, chronicling his journey from recreational runner to TNT coach to ultra-marathoner along with his gains and losses in the fight against blood cancer. A moving account, blending sorrow and hope, heavy on the hope.

Sharktopus Questions Answered!

i09 dives in with Roger Corman.

More on Lady Ice

Takineko pointed out David Kawena's concept renderings for the frosty femme fatale. And while I'm in a kudoing mood, composer Ricardo Gidon did quite a nifty job setting the tone and supporting the action.

Lady Ice is Cool

A gal, a dream, and some wicked animating skill.

h/t: lpdisney via Takineko on Facebook

Google Hassle

Google locked me out of my mailbox and blog because of "suspicious activity." I wish. They wouldn't accept my security question or anything. After hassling with them, I'm now back blogging, but have nothing to say.

See?

Link to Odd Aussie Story

Trout of Luck or Strange things happen in Oz.

Ten rules for writing fiction | Books | guardian.co.uk

Good, bad and indifferent advice, but the most important one is discipline - and coffee with fruit pies. Ten rules for writing fiction | Books | guardian.co.uk

Posted using ShareThis

Boozy ape sent to rehab

Behold the reprobate chimp.

Curling Right Up

In honor of Paul Rugg's fanatical devotion to the sport, buried in his archives somewhere.

h/t: bowserandblue via Amy Kane

Hot From the Steam Room

After a long drive down and back to Riverside County to visit my cousin, I stopped at the pool on the way home. As I finished kickboarding, a hot Russian chick, early twenties, dove in. She wore a pastel mini-bikini bottom and a blue tube top that didn't match. (But who cared?) Sticking close to her was an old guy, mid-60s, whom I thought might be family or determined to make a big fool out of himself.

In the steam room, I had the place to myself and stretched out sore shoulder muscles. Suddenly the old guy and the Russian chick entered. She had on Day-Glo Crocs that cut through the steam like lime-green fog lights. Taking a seat nearby, they started talking as if I weren't around. The old guy had an American accent, but kept his voice low. Meanwhile, she's laying out intimate life details in almost perfect English:

"Then, after school, I moved from Russia to California, Marina Del Rey. My boyfriend came over next. I helped him with his paperwork to get a Green Card. I was totally dedicated to him, then I found out he was cheating on me the whole time. I couldn't believe it."

Was the American with the INS? CIA? An old horn dog trying to pick up a gabby Russian chick in a mismatched bathing suit? Did she confront the boyfriend? Busted vodka bottles, Slavic threats shouted in the language of their motherland? A struggle? A blow struck with a thick, depressing book by Dostoevsky?

Three boisterous guys entered and broke the mood. The Russian chick clammed up. I hung around and did a few more shoulder exercises, but she was done, sweating in silence with her glowing Crocs.

I've marked the time of the incident. Friday, I'll go back. Hopefully, they'll be more. But if there isn't, there will be steam. Yes. Plenty of steam.

Link to Pasadena Marathon Recap

Emil's marathon recap.

Back in the Water

Kickboarding so as not to fray my tendon; hadn't done any water exercises since August. I was quickly tired out, able to do half of an old workout. Then I used the health club sauna and steam room to loosen up - hopefully - my right shoulder. If I can get up early, I'll head back to the gym and heat up the right pecs and lats prior to my physical therapy. (Then maybe it won't hurt so stinking much.) Started working on another short story. This tale pits politically correct educator/scolds against the Great Old Ones. It's a continuation of a style I tried in another short story, "Dagon and Jill." I'm calling the style, PC Lovecraft. The new story is "The Dunwich Diversity Seminar." If nothing else, I'm having a pleasant time and, I hope, you are as well.

Video: Gotta Follow That Dream...

...wherever that dream may lead you, even into costume land.

h/t: Screaming Frog

Pasadena Marathon Morning

Not for me, but for other, fitter types. Could be rain on the course again this year. Best of luck to all marathon runners and walkers.

Physical therapy yesterday really hurt. I can't swim, row or do certain other exercises until these knots in the lats and pecs are softened up. So I continue my pt homework until the next time I'm kneaded.

Haven't written anything in about three weeks. Zero drive. Looks like Ten-in-Six will end up Eight-in-Six, with one of those a 69 page novelette. I should add up the total number of pages out of sheer bureaucratic curiosity.

But Do They Like Us?

I'm not sensing respect.

h/t: comedy.com

Funny Zordon Video

If you like Power Rangers, well, this is nothing like it. But Zordon definitely has non-PC 'tude.

Photoshop Website

On Facebook, Takineko struck paydirt, discovering a site that photoshops two images together: here is a vehicle with someone unnamed, here Emmitt Nervend amuses, while here poses the ultimate fan of Manny the Uncanny. Finally, this shows Manny learning all about the undead.

Huntsman Art Link

Sound the Horn of Urgency! Armando caught this.

My First Release

A story was released by a magazine after three months. They enjoyed the story but couldn't place it in any of their issues. (The editor was kind enough to include readers' complimentary remarks as they passed my copy up the ladder.) It's somewhat like being told you're perfect for a job, but none of the cubicles fit you.

Shoulder work continues at the rehab as I received an extension on my physical therapy. Movement has improved, but there are still tight, painful areas. Much like writing.

Fine Freakish Folio

Freakazoid art via Takineko's Facebook page.

Chi Walking and the Liquid Creature

"Its the liquid creature." A direct quote from the H-Man, but many of you, no doubt, knew that. Spent the late morning with a chi-walking coach, Steve Mackal. He pointed out that I was inadvertently combining a blend of chi running and walking that wasn't exactly cool. So I corrected my style and will continue walking 3x a week for another month. Then I'll see about some running. Now back to the misadventures of 'the liquid creature."

Pixar Video

The wages of cuteness.

h/t: collegehumor

Banned Beer Commercials

h/t: leenellmills

Single Awareness Sunday

Unattached Ernesto calls Valentine's Day the above. He's headed to a bar tonight night filled with singles, gathered there by gregarious, romantic bartender C.J., for the express purpose of switching over to couple status. Best wishes to all. And Happy Valentine's Day!

TNT Reunion of Sorts and Chi Walking

Before meeting Ernesto for breakfast over at the Rose Bowl clubhouse, I decided to get in my 2-mile walk. (He was running 10 in preparation for the L.A. Marathon.) A host of Team in Training coaches and mentors and honcho Lindsey were hanging around Lot K, busy awaiting the return of the team from their 3-mile assessment run. Very nostalgic.

My knee hurt a bit at first, then settled down quietly. This is now the first week I've completed 3 walks since I've been cleared to walk for exercise - unofficially - back in October. Because of the excitement of running into old friends, I probably started too fast but settled down and did my pace.

I need to be around people walking Chi style, preferably experienced ones who can correct me and guide my progress. Alas, the only group I know of is way down in Long Beach - a heck of a drive even on a Saturday morning. But strange things happen, often good things and, perhaps, a cadre will form around the Rose Bowl in time. Until then, it's watch the chi running DVD and practice every time I get up and walk to the refrigerator, which should give me plenty of practice.

Cavalcade of Therapy

My excellent Motion Picture Industry health benefits run out in March. Thus I'm on a health binge to use up certain services. I had physical therapy this morning for my shoulder, then rushed over to the chiro's for a tune-up. I've had the same chiro for 15 years. Eric's a good guy, former marathon runner like me, but getting tired of cracking backs. Possessing an undergrad degree in chemistry, he's been putting it to use studying nights to be a crime scene technician. It sounds like a Discovery Channel show: Forensic Chiropractor. In any case, we swapped tales of mayhem. I told Eric about my recent exposure to bridge jumpers, mentioning a SF Chronicle story on how physically unpleasant it is to jump 250 feet into the sea. He countered with a description of a body found recently on the 5 Freeway, so flattened by truck traffic cops couldn't identify it. After our pleasant exchange, we agreed to meet again next week. I left, my back refreshed, glad to be alive and unmangled.

Walking and Writing Fiction

And I'll have walked 3x this week, slightly over 2 miles per outing. So far, no soreness. I'm slowly losing weight and hope to intro a little running into my walks next month.

Another story politely rejected. The editor made a few reserved comments, one of which I thought had merit. So I tweaked the story slightly, cut a few sentences, and sent it out again. Eventually, I'll wear these editors down like water on stone. Of course, that can take thousands of years, but I'm hoping for less.

Thoughts on The Bridge

A filmmaker spent 2004 with cameras trained on the Golden Gate Bridge, recording a goodly number of the 24 people who leaped to their deaths that year.

Falling from the bridge takes around 4 seconds.

The Bridge wove those grim scenes into a documentary film, surrounding them with witness interviews and talks with the jumpers' family and friends. Mental illness, a diet of drugs, or overwhelmed by life seemed the most common reasons for taking the literal plunge.

The body reaches a velocity of 75 mph before hitting the water.

Most suicides weren't a surprise to those nearest the deceased, but shock and grief were a parting gift that kept on giving.

One person survived the jump. Others have lived through similar or worse falls, but the odds favor a terminal outcome.

A most disturbing film.

Like Fine Wine

No one has the numbers on old animation writers, but sci-fi scribes seem to improve with years. i09 does the math.

Lord of the Surf

Emil spins an epic race report from Surf City.

Super Bowl

is over. Physical therapy for my shoulder continues tomorrow with more pulling and prodding and kneading. Can't seem to get untracked and write anything as I chew on sunflower seeds ala Fox Mulder and wait for a spacecraft to come collect me. If one does, I'll be upset and want to go back to my favorite chair. And the whole probing thing...without even dinner and a show!

A Link to Morose Author Facts

My friend (and fellow writer) Bernadette sent me this dour essay on writing that tells me little that I didn't already know, but tells it well.

Stormy Weather

Or the aftermath. A view yesterday evening from our church parking lot as mud slides have already done their damage and the storm departs to the east.

Congrats to Bruce Timm

Winner of the Annie's Winsor McCay Award in recognition of career contributions in animation. (Jeffrey Katzenberg and Tim Burton also received McCays.) Complete 37th Annie winners list here. I'm more amazed that Timm lasted over two decades at Warner Bros. (Along with Alan Burnett.) There should be an award for that. In a way, I guess there is. It's called a 'paycheck.'

Good Short Story Advice

Though the author favors sci-fi, his tips contain a wealth of practical info.
h/t: American Digest

TV Animation Gig and Physical Therapy

An animated job may loom on the horizon. Such a novelty these days, though my agent reported more cartoon shows are surfacing than over the last three years. A studio exec. wanted to see old school Warners stuff. I sent along an Animaniacs script that never got produced, but has been well-received as a writing sample. Called "The Big Nap," the Chandleresque parody featured the Warner Bros. as private eyes and Hello Nurse, naturally, as the femme fatale. Hi jinx, as they saying goes, ensued.

On the body front, my shoulder really aches from yesterday's physical therapy. The therapist massaged, kneaded and stretched various cuffs, muscles, and joints to loosen the pinched tendon. Clearly, not so easy. Plus there was homework.

As to walking, that's out this weekend. The knee is sore and needs icing. And so, back to the keyboard to finish up a short story as rain falls gently outside and the neighborhood youth serenade the block with a symphony of bass-heavy rap and horn honking.

Hearing Haiti

Audiobook actors will be discussing growth in their industry. Listen in for a donation that goes to the Red Cross Haiti Relief Effort. Details, as they say in Georgia, rot 'cher.
h/t: Voiceroy via Facebook.

Famous Directors Helming the Super Bowl

My fave is David Lynch.

h/t: Slate V via Hot Air

Walk Don't Run

And I did today, for a little over two miles. No knee pain and a bit more comfort locomoting in the chi walking style. I set up a meeting with a chi running/walking coach to refresh my technique and correct my form. Adding to my physical fun, I pinched a tendon in my right shoulder. Back to physical therapy, where they remember me from last fall. Twice a week for three weeks plus homework. But my range of motion has already improved after one session and I'm thinking this should be easy. Haven't written much the last few days. Doesn't look like I'll finish the final two short stories. But I could finish one. Maybe. If I stop making excuses and write. Okay. I will.

Almost a Pasadena Pacer

Saturday, I will attempt to hang with a group of walkers. I'm not sure how many miles they plan on doing, but I'm gone at the first sign of knee pain. The walkers are associated with the Pasadena Pacers, a local running club who, most importantly, don't charge any dues. I'm keen to see how my knee reacts to, say, three miles at a modest pace. Not much in the grand scheme of marathons and ultramarathons, but a worthy start. And free. I mentioned that?

"Bane Fish" Published

My short story on the law and surviving sea monsters has surfaced in Night Chills. Thanks to all who helped out with the reading last summer. (Image: Black Matrix Publishing LLC)