A Salute to Athletes Who Didn't Quit

I know this subject. 

I know when I've run well and I know when I've listened to that little voice in the back of my head telling me I've done quite enough for the day. It's a moment lasting an instant when you must choose between believing your training or responding to a play-it-safe voice that smothers dreams. 

Training for a marathon in November, I've been battling the quits in hot temperatures. My times, to be frank, suck. But I've continued on as new inspirations emerge.

In Tokyo today . . .

. . . a woman competing in only her third marathon . . . 

. . . in eighty-degree temperatures . . . 

. . . against Kenyans . . . 

. . . became just the third Yank lass to medal since 1984. 

Molly Seidel ran like a champ, pushed the pace, and stayed in the hunt for gold and silver until the very end. At 2:27:46 - only three hours ahead of my fall projected finish time - Bronze Medal Molly displayed the heart that inspires even an elderly, injury-plagued marathoner such as myself.

swimsuits.com

Speaking of grit . . . 

. . . Allyson Felix won her eleventh medal—seventh Gold—in the 4 x 400 meter relay. She surpassed Carl Lewis to become America's top Olympic medalist. Dating back to 1996, Felix has notched her medals in between a difficult childbirth, brutal losses, and, at 35, the hour-glass draining fast on elite speed. Allyson's unquenchable perseverance and mental toughness rated her those eleven trips to the podium.

Atlanta Black Star

As for me . . . 

. . . maybe I'll add another day to my running week. 

Gymstrodamus Wrong?

 A coy oily header. But where might this fellow be incorrect in a world where 60% of locked down U.S. businesses never reopened and Jeff Bezos, Big Phrama and their dear friends in government are swollen with cash like pufferfish? 

American Eric

The Babylon Bee Reimagines John Lennon

 Such a tasty subject, the mocking of communism, yet so few diners. The Babylon Bee examines the fruits of Marxism in this touching parody tune.

The Babylon Bee

Prostate Cancer Real Talk #3

 El and Shay tackle the issue of why Afro-American men are more susceptible to prostate cancer. Doctor Adam B. Murphy joins them in exploring the topic.

Prostate Cancer Real Talk

Manson's Acting Skills Often Overlooked

 My friend Ken sent this along. It's from The old Ben Stiller Show and is a parody of Lassie with a surprise replacement for the collie. Pretty darn good. Ad warning.

suedejones

Xi Jinping's Stand-Up Comedy Act

 When not threatening to vaporize Japan, the President of the Chinese People's Republic likes to stay sharp honing his stand-up comedy chops. Over the years, Xi Jinping has worked up a killer set which he polishes during open-mike nights at various Beijing night spots. Here's a smuggled out sample of Jinping at Club Five-Year Plan riffing on current events.

Now, comrades, the comedy stylings of . . . 

qz.com

"Whoa, thank you. This place is based. I gotta say: this club is almost as much fun as gang-raping a Uighur. You heard me. Yeah. Someone once asked me why I never bring a stool on stage like certain other comics. I told 'em, 'You try sitting with Joe Biden's head up your ass.' Whoa, yeah, you guys are quick. This crowd is sharper than the scalpel at a Falun Gong organ harvesting. Hell, yeah. Someone stop me. I'm a mad man.

What else is happening? Crazy week. Crazy week, isn't it? I met with the leaders of the Taliban. Did you see that? Yeah. I mean we've actually got a few things in common; like watching the United States scamper away in defeat like a little girl—Vietnam, anyone?— and kicking the shit out of Christians. Other than that, the Taliban smell like goats in a cess pool. Whoa. Did I say that? Somebody build a shower in that country. Puh-leeze.

Man, I should've gone to the bathroom before I came up here. I'm leaking worse than the Wuhan Lab. Come on. That was funny. Check your social media scores. This whole club is getting downgraded. That's better. Yuk it up. And don't forget to tip your waitresses. They all dodged forced abortions. Lucky ladies. Wild stuff, huh?

Okay, time to hit the old Belt and Road. And remember, when life hands you lemons, beat a Tibetan with an ax handle. Goodnight, everyone.