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Goodreads Book Giveaway

Fifty Shades of Zane Grey

by JP Mac

Giveaway ends March 14, 2016.
See the giveaway details at Goodreads.

Enter Giveaway

Make that a CHANCE for a free SIGNED edition. (Not worth much now, but I have dreams.) At last count, 579 readers had signed up to learn more about the lives and loves of Anna Ironhead, seeking romance and a bedbug-free room in the Old West. Here is a brief video, explaining her quest.



While on the subject of self-promotion, the keen-eyed folk at BookReels continue to feature Fifty Shades of Zane Grey on the front page. Slowly, I slide to the right, but it's been an enjoyable electronic movement.

50ZG is one in from the right.

Now I return to Hallow Mass. The first book trailer is ready, awaiting a pdf draft that I will release to reviewers. Then it's up on Amazon for pre-order. This is not a parody, but an actual book about people in ugly situations involving warlocks, black magic, and drinking too many mimosas. Due to release on April 29.

My arm is weary from patting myself on the back.  

Staff Pick on BookReels

BookReels

Fifty Shades of Zane Grey Book Trailer 1 Scores a Hit

Nice to be appreciated. The kind workers over at BookReels have plunked my first 50ZG Trailer onto the front page. Furthermore, they complimented the work over on Twitter calling it "super clever." 

Considering I lost my wallet last Monday and had a nasty urinary tract infection keeping me up all night on Friday, this is the best news I've had in six days. 

Building Book Trailers, Smashwords Launch, and Missing Wallet

Andrzej Krauze via Inside Policy

Writer Bedeviled by Software, Bureaucracy

More on my paperwork woes in a moment. The second trailer for Fifty Shades of Zane Grey is now up over on YouTube. (As well as linked on Twitter, Goodreads, and Pinterest.) Shorter with more competent editing, it captures the book's flavor and hopefully brings the viewer a smile or two. The weak point remains the voice overs. I need a good microphone. Come to think of it, Garageband would be a excellent place to mix the voice over and track, but it would require learning Garageband and I'm awash in iMovie tutorials at the moment. 

Book Trailers Three, Four and Five

Amazon pre-order March 11

First on the list is Hallow Mass. By next week, I hope, Hallow Mass will be available for pre-order on Amazon. I'll build a pair of trailers teasing the April 29 release. Since the book isn't entirely humorous, crafting the message will take a little thought. The fifth trailer will be for the current book I'm writing in between trailers, Kaiju vs Alien Scum. A man sets out to take his elderly aunt to Walmart for a white sale and finds himself caught between cruel alien invaders and a big fat monster. In any case, I've been impressed by the business model of author Jeremy Robinson who makes trailers for works-in-progress. 

Smashwords Welcomes Fifty Shades of Zane Grey

They have and I'm delighted to be listed there. The book is on sale through Monday, March 7. Save a buck and buy an eBook (or PDF) for a pleasant weekend read. 

Ah, the Government

On Monday, I lost my wallet containing driver's license, medical card, credit cards, Social Security number, the lot. So I call around and cancel everything. Charming. Online, I make an appointment for the Department of Motor Vehicles for a new license. They say I'll need a Social Security card to prove I'm a citizen.  So SSN is the first stop. Because I lack certain documentation, I can't do my business online. I had a passport, and, though it was expired, thought it might serve as proof of citizenship. I wanted to call SSN and double check but there is no incoming phone line for the general public to seek clarification on such matters. (Possibly dealing with the public's questions would interfere with their work.) 

At the office I stand in line just to get into the office, empty my pockets for the metal detector, then stand in another line at an electronic kiosk to input my need. Then I'm given a receipt and directed to hunt for a seat somewhere in the teaming sea of humanity, several of whom spoke English. 

Amazon

Time passes. I read Michel Houellebecq's  H.P. Lovecraft: Against the World, Against Life. (Fascinating stuff.) Two hours pass. I'm directed to a window where a young bureaucrat informs me that my passport is unacceptable. 

Me: "You understand that they don't issue passports to anyone but U.S. citizens.

Young Bureaucrat: "But it's expired."

Me: "But they issued it."

Young Bureaucrat: "The system will reject an expired passport. You could have your medical records notarized. We'd accept that."

My mouth gaped at the thought of trying to obtain my medical records, get them notarized, return with them to SSN, wait two hours, and hope nothing is expired. She continued:

Young Bureaucrat:  "Why don't you go to the Department of Motor Vehicles? They'll give you a temporary license. We'd accept that."

A supervisor was finally consulted and sided with the Young Bureaucrat. Steamed, I walked out, musing that the government didn't want a fraction of this proof when I joined the Marines. I was tempted to drive five hours south to Mexico, walk across the border, walk back, declare myself a refugee, and have all my documentation handed to me. 

Monday will be another test at the Department of Motor Vehicles, but at least I'll have an appointment.   

Fifty Shades of Zane Grey Book Trailer

Cornerstone Media Joins the Book Trailer Bandwagon

My first iMovie effort at a book trailer. If you are of a mind, stop by the Cornerstone Media page and give this a like, should such an impulse strike you. Also, 50ZG goes live on Smashwords beginning March 3. For the next week, it's discounted one fat dollar to $2.99. I now return to the printed page.

Rare Running-Walking Report

Me at the half-mile mark.

Overweight Writer Waddles Three Miles

Race reports used to be a regular fixture around here. There were marathons in Chicago and Eugene, Oregon and 10ks in Northridge, CA but age and illness have curtailed my outdoor sporting activities. Since 2009, I've had arthroscopic surgery on my left knee, skin cancer on the nose, arthroscopic surgery on my right shoulder and an operation for prostate cancer. Over the last 16 months, my weight has ballooned 30 pounds. I am a physical wreck.

So I started walking again. Even more, I signed up to walk a 5k. Nothing motivates me like shelling out money for an event. I can't move fast or far, but I can move and the endorphins percolate leaving me somewhat content. Incidentally, this upcoming race is the same 5k were I broke a metatarsal ten years ago. Time doesn't fly, it teleports.

More soon.

Enter Your Valentine in a Free Book Giveaway

Valentine's Day

Love is like a Cabbage

My love is like a cabbage
Divided into two,
The leaves I give to others,
The heart I give to you.

Author Unknown

On this day of romance, consider, then, a passionate tale of long ago love.
". . . this is very funny, very very silly and [the author] knows it. The story revels in it's own daftness, and the phrase 'completely cracked' came to mind several times while reading . . . Potential audiences would be 
anyone who likes adult humor, anyone who wants to see Fifty Shades get skewered, and readers who like satire or parody, or just downright silly books." - Bookangel

Ten signed copies of Fifty Shades of Zane Grey will be given away FREE starting, you know, TODAY. Register below for a shot at snagging a hilarious tale of romance and adventure set in the Old West.

Register anytime during the 30 days between today Feb. 14 and March 14. Sometime within that month, ten winners will be selected by the staff at Goodreads using methods both cryptic and mundane. (I can say no more.) Afterwards, I mail you and the nine other fortunate awardees a free signed copy in durable softcover. And I do it willingly, quickly, without delay, for such is my manner.

Does it matter that I live in Petone, New Zealand?

It matters not where you live as long as it's in the United States, Canada, the UK, and Australia. (I'm guessing New Zealand as well, but don't hold me to it. They have three islands, were you aware? But no one ever goes to the little one below South Island. It is a confinement zone for debtors and bad hobbit impersonators.) So put forth your name for a chance to win a FREE COPY of Fifty Shades of Zane Grey. You'll be a part of something different.

 Click the button below. You will be then be entered through the marvel's of today's technology. As they say in New Zealand, good on you.

Goodreads Book Giveaway

Fifty Shades of Zane Grey

by JP Mac

Giveaway ends March 14, 2016.
See the giveaway details at Goodreads.

Enter Giveaway

Valentine's Day Free Book Giveaway

". . . this is very funny, very very silly and [the author] knows it. The story revels in it's own daftness, and the phrase 'completely cracked' came to mind several times while reading . . . Potential audiences would be anyone who likes adult humor, anyone who wants to see Fifty Shades get skewered, and readers who like satire or parody, or just downright silly books." - Bookangel

50ZG Could Be Yours For the Click of a Button

Ten signed copies of Fifty Shades of Zane Grey will be given away FREE starting at midnight on Valentine's Day. Register for a shot at snagging a hilarious tale of romance and adventure set in the Old West.

Ah, but when do I register for this fabulous book discount?

Register anytime during the 30 days between Feb. 14 and March 14. Sometime within that month, ten winners will be selected by the staff at Goodreads using methods both cryptic and mundane. (I can say no more.) Afterwards, I mail you and the nine other fortunate awardees a free signed copy in durable softcover. And I do it willingly, quickly, without delay, for such is my manner.

Does it matter that I live in Petone, New Zealand?

It matters not where you live as long as it's in the United States, Canada, the UK, and Australia. (I'm guessing New Zealand as well, but don't hold me to it. They have three islands, were you aware? But no one ever goes to the little one below South Island. It is a confinement zone for debtors and bad hobbit impersonators.) So watch your calendar and stand ready to put forth your name for a chance to win a FREE COPY of Fifty Shades of Zane Grey. You'll be a part of something different.

I know it's early. I know there are five days between now and Valentine's Day. But I'm so excited I couldn't wait. Coming this SUNDAY, February 14, I will repost this succinct message. Mark your calendar, then click the button below. (Click now, if you wish, but nothing will happen good or bad.) You will be then be entered through the marvel's of today's technology. As they say in New Zealand, good on you.

Goodreads Book Giveaway

Fifty Shades of Zane Grey

by JP Mac

Giveaway ends March 14, 2016.
See the giveaway details at Goodreads.

Enter Giveaway

Happy Chinese New Year!

Good Fortune to Monkey Boys and Girls in 2016

Year of the Monkey kids are quick-witted, charming, lucky, adaptable, bright, versatile, lovely and smart. May fortune gaze upon you in a comfortable manner and may all your firecrackers go off properly. Here's a list of Sino Do's and Don'ts guarantee to ensure 2016 stays on the lucky path.


Video h/t: bobtnaig

The Noble Artist Meets Your Drawing Needs

The Noble Artist

Rendering Everything From Book Covers to Maps

Should time permit, pop over and check out the art work of the Noble Artist. On his website, Jamie Noble Frier exhibits his drawing skills in fields as diverse as board and video games and commissioned art. Or drop anchor and give his Facebook page a "Like."

I've begun working with iMovie to create my first book trailer. I've chosen Fifty Shades of Zane Grey as the initial subject. Today I finished a short script, then broke it down into picture and video, SFX, and music. Now I'm rummaging around through royalty free websites looking for the little nuggets that I'll pull together as I labor to master the basics.  Exciting, but it has the feel of a labor-intensive project. But I'm anxious to see trailers have an effect on sales. Actually, I'm anxious for sales period. But better days are ahead. 

Free Horror Story Sample Online

 

Pages Up at Goodreads

The prologue for my upcoming horror novel, Hallowmass, is available for your viewing pleasure over at Goodreads. Depending on the response, I may add up to two more gratis, bargain, discount, free chapters. Here's the blurb:

Party-loving grad student Mercy O'Connor must choose to set down the mimosas and follow in her family's footsteps by learning powerful magic, the only weapon that can check the diabolical warlocks of Dunwich, Massachusetts and their scheme to see all life on the planet eradicated by monstrous beings. Aided by a country & western loving Zulu security guard, Mercy must first find the belief, then the confidence, then the courage to battle her terrifying foes and stop the earth from being drug into another dimension.

Cover art is on the way here. I'm setting the book up for pre-order on Amazon for an April 30th release. Lovecraft fans may recognize that day as Walpurgis Night, a fitting launch date for a horror novel.

Horror Story Sample Uploads Soon

Blastr

Friday is the day and Goodreads is the Place

A successful Kindle promo for Fifty Shades of Zane Grey concluded Monday. If you missed your chance, know that the e-version will be discounted over on Smashwords. Yes, the bargains never stop as the romantic story of young Anna Ironhead and wealthy Lash Grey may be obtained at a lower price pending the March 3 Smashwords release. As an aside, if you like reading on your phone, then Smashwords is a most friendly place.

Now on to Hallowmass. (No link yet, just italics.) Cover art is cooking away and should be ready for display quite soon. On Friday, January 29, the prologue will up up at my Goodreads page. (A link will be provided in two short days.) The story of a party girl grad student who must put down her mimosas and battle a malicious warlock for the fate of the Earth is set for an April 30th release. Ah, but you've heard that before. And well you have. But I want to take advantage of Goodreads Book Giveaway as well as the Amazon Kindle Direct Pre-Order. (Starting, I hope, in February.)

I'd rather be writing, but an unprompted book does no one any good.