Building Book Trailers, Smashwords Launch, and Missing Wallet

Andrzej Krauze via Inside Policy

Writer Bedeviled by Software, Bureaucracy

More on my paperwork woes in a moment. The second trailer for Fifty Shades of Zane Grey is now up over on YouTube. (As well as linked on Twitter, Goodreads, and Pinterest.) Shorter with more competent editing, it captures the book's flavor and hopefully brings the viewer a smile or two. The weak point remains the voice overs. I need a good microphone. Come to think of it, Garageband would be a excellent place to mix the voice over and track, but it would require learning Garageband and I'm awash in iMovie tutorials at the moment. 

Book Trailers Three, Four and Five

Amazon pre-order March 11

First on the list is Hallow Mass. By next week, I hope, Hallow Mass will be available for pre-order on Amazon. I'll build a pair of trailers teasing the April 29 release. Since the book isn't entirely humorous, crafting the message will take a little thought. The fifth trailer will be for the current book I'm writing in between trailers, Kaiju vs Alien Scum. A man sets out to take his elderly aunt to Walmart for a white sale and finds himself caught between cruel alien invaders and a big fat monster. In any case, I've been impressed by the business model of author Jeremy Robinson who makes trailers for works-in-progress. 

Smashwords Welcomes Fifty Shades of Zane Grey

They have and I'm delighted to be listed there. The book is on sale through Monday, March 7. Save a buck and buy an eBook (or PDF) for a pleasant weekend read. 

Ah, the Government

On Monday, I lost my wallet containing driver's license, medical card, credit cards, Social Security number, the lot. So I call around and cancel everything. Charming. Online, I make an appointment for the Department of Motor Vehicles for a new license. They say I'll need a Social Security card to prove I'm a citizen.  So SSN is the first stop. Because I lack certain documentation, I can't do my business online. I had a passport, and, though it was expired, thought it might serve as proof of citizenship. I wanted to call SSN and double check but there is no incoming phone line for the general public to seek clarification on such matters. (Possibly dealing with the public's questions would interfere with their work.) 

At the office I stand in line just to get into the office, empty my pockets for the metal detector, then stand in another line at an electronic kiosk to input my need. Then I'm given a receipt and directed to hunt for a seat somewhere in the teaming sea of humanity, several of whom spoke English. 

Amazon

Time passes. I read Michel Houellebecq's  H.P. Lovecraft: Against the World, Against Life. (Fascinating stuff.) Two hours pass. I'm directed to a window where a young bureaucrat informs me that my passport is unacceptable. 

Me: "You understand that they don't issue passports to anyone but U.S. citizens.

Young Bureaucrat: "But it's expired."

Me: "But they issued it."

Young Bureaucrat: "The system will reject an expired passport. You could have your medical records notarized. We'd accept that."

My mouth gaped at the thought of trying to obtain my medical records, get them notarized, return with them to SSN, wait two hours, and hope nothing is expired. She continued:

Young Bureaucrat:  "Why don't you go to the Department of Motor Vehicles? They'll give you a temporary license. We'd accept that."

A supervisor was finally consulted and sided with the Young Bureaucrat. Steamed, I walked out, musing that the government didn't want a fraction of this proof when I joined the Marines. I was tempted to drive five hours south to Mexico, walk across the border, walk back, declare myself a refugee, and have all my documentation handed to me. 

Monday will be another test at the Department of Motor Vehicles, but at least I'll have an appointment.