Free Kindle Book Breaks Top Fifty

Amazon Bargain eBook #47 in Westerns

Fifty Shades of Zane Grey ascends in the west while rising higher in the top free eBooks on all of Kindle. This humorous Old West tale of a young woman's search for self-confidence and romance while battling multiple personalities—including an Inner Canadian Goose—has taken the world of bargain books by storm. Actually not a storm; more of a crisp rain with heavy gusts. Nonetheless, only four days remain to advantage yourself of this astounding discount. And bargain. A discount and a bargain eBook, as I've been instructed to type by SEO people.

Fifty Shades of Black Attacks

Least you think the spoofing of Fifty Shades of Grey has evaporated, Marlon Wayans will be lampooning the mega hit book and film starting next week on January 29. Funny trailer.

h/t: Movieclips Trailers

Fifty Shades of Zane Grey Rising in Kindle Romance

Book angel.co.uk

Amazon Category Switch to Romance/Western Boosts Downloads

That's just a guess. I switched 50ZG from Satire and Humor to the above category for my five-day free Kindle giveaway. At first, I thought it a dumb move, trying to improve my rating. But so far this first morning I'm at #116 with a bullet as they used to say in the music trade. 

If you haven't read Fifty Shades of Zane Grey, now is an excellent time to obtain a free copy and enjoy the Old West tale of young Anna Ironhead, who struggles to learn that passion comes in many shades but true love is a primary color. And also that a broken heart hurts less than an Arapaho arrow.

Many thanks to the following sites for promoting 50ZG on their free Kindle lists:

Ignite Your Book

Awesomegang

Bookangel

FreeBooks

Bargain! Discount! Free eBook! These are vital keywords. I'll post more updates soon.

Free Kindle Copy of Fifty Shades of Zane Grey Romance

Romantic Comedy Giveaway Starts Thursday

Humor, passion, a love triangle—make that a love quadrangle—beset the heroine of this complicated hilarious tale set in the Old West. And if you own a fine e reader, feel free to download yourself a free copy between Thursday and Monday midnight Pacific Time Jan. 21 to the 25. If the spirit moves you, please leave a review on Amazon and Goodreads and beef up my algorithms. 

Having just learned that my Kindle Direct membership ends in early February, I'm using up all my free promotional giveaway days and readers like you are the beneficiaries. Here's what I had to say over at Goodreads:

Free Kindle Copy of Fifty Shades of Zane Grey

Event for JP Mac (edit)

Date:	January 21, 2016    12:00AM -- January 25, 2016    12:00AM
RSVP by:	January 25, 2016    11:59PM
Venue:	Amazon Page for Fifty Shades of Zane Grey, US
Type:	other
Website:	http://www.amazon.com/Fifty-Shades-Zane-Grey-Mac-ebook/dp/B00TCTS33G/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1423450362&sr=1-3&keywords=Fifty+Shades+of+Zane+Grey
Added by:	JP Mac

description

Gallup along with a free Kindle version of this romantic comedy in which shy dishwasher Anna Ironhead is courted by wealthy Old West railroad tycoon Lash Grey. Will young Anna fall for the passionate pleadings of her wealthy suitor and his mysterious Trap Room? Or will one of Anna's cowboy beaus win her heart? More laughs than lewd, this humorous romantic tale twists and turns as Anna struggles to learn that while passion comes in many shades, true love is a primary color.

Smashwords 2015 Publishing Survey

Prices, Preorders, and the State of .99

Amazon is king, but what about Smashwords? This eBook distribution platform follows in the wake of the Big A, but still generates decent sales. If you must know, I'm on Smashwords and I find it a pleasant place.

Erica Verrillo lists the latest data crunched for last year and there are interesting bits of info for the eBook author. For example, Romance, Erotica, YA and Teen Fiction are the top three in fiction categories.

And $1.99 remains the Tartarus of pricing.

Read more over at Publishing . . . and Other Forms of Insanity.

New Year's Writing Tips

When not spotting Chinese subs for the Navy,  the blimp is a common New Year's Day sight above Los Angeles. 

Noteworthy Resolutions for 2016

Welcome to a new year, so bright and filled with promise; so clean and sparkling; not like that old bag 2015. Still, last year wasn't terrible. I completed and published my first soft cover, Fifty Shades of Zane Grey. And I concluded my first horror novel, Hallowmass. (Coming soon, really.) On this bright Los Angeles morning, the Goodyear Blimp circling to the northeast over the Rose Bowl, my thoughts turn toward improving this year's fiction output. Here are three fresh avenues:

Book Trailers

I've been wanting to try this for awhile. If nothing else, a decent trailer helps your author discoverability.  The Creative Penn lists eleven steps for making your book trailer using Windows MovieMaker. They include writing out a script and using Google Key Words for your metadata.  

Book Trailer Using iMovie is a short video by Felisha Melendez that walks Mac users through the process .

The Write Life  by Henry Herz lists three free apps authors can employ to craft their visual pitch.

Keep an eye out for my efforts. This sounds like fun!

Audio Books

A growing market. Here is some 2015 data from Publishing Trends:

". . . the majority of audiobooks being produced are fiction. The average listener is 30+ years old, educated and affluent. [Recorded Books CEO Rich Freese] also said while people continue to primarily listen in cars, they 'are now listening to audiobooks on their portable devices while exercising, doing housework, and pretty much anything that you can imagine where this sort of multi-tasking is possible.'"

Naturally, Amazon make it easy for authors to convert the printed word to zeros and ones via ACX Audiobook Creation Exchange.

Whatever I decide, I want Paul Rugg to read The Little Book of Big Enlightenment.

Erica Verillo's Website

Author Verillo offers a slew of practical advice for fellow scribes. Browse around Publishing . . . and Other Forms of Insanity and you'll find a list of reviewers willing to read self-published material, free contests, agents open to clients, and much more.

So I've got my hands full launching my next book, marketing those already out, and learning some new skills. Hope your 2016 is shaping up to be a grand productive time.


h/t: Movieclips

Hallowmass on Hold and Ace Sci Fi Doubles

EyesofOdysseus

No Christmas Launch for Hot Horror Book

In case you've been following along this year, there will be no Halloween, Christmas, Christmas eBook out before 2016. Such is life being married to a copy editor/managing editor who is working a a holiday job. I'm still leaning toward pitching a small press. One in particular would put out Hallowmass in eBook form, then see if it sold a hundred copies before releasing it as a soft cover. Fair enough. Strange are the ways of writing. For seven months, all I thought about was Hallowmass. Now it's fading from memory, like a torrid relationship cooling with the seasons.  I will say no more on the book pre-Yule.

Etsy.com

Ace is the Place for Double Sci Fi

For a guy who never finished high school, my Dad was a tremendous reader. He'd be watching the White Sox on TV with a quart of Drewrys beer, a lit Pall Mall, and a book open in his lap, attention on the printed page during commercials. Wide-ranging in his genre tastes, Dad was fond of the science fiction of Andre Norton. And he was a avid lover of the Ace series of double paperbacks.  According to AbeBooks:

"One of Ace’s biggest coups was the Ace Doubles series.  These paperbacks contained two different novels that were bound together in the dos-a-dos style.  Their strategy was to pair a famous writer with a lesser known one and constantly introduce readers to new literary talent.  While Ace did not invent this concept, they did popularize it, and it became a fantastic marketing tool that benefited both the publisher and readers for many years.  Ace published several hundred Ace Doubles in the dos-a-dos format between 1952 and 1973, and many science fiction fans have built collections around these eye-catching paperbacks."

They were basically novellas, but it was really cool to flip one over and see brand new cover art and a different story. That said, I have two novellas from my frenzy of 2013 writing. Since both stories involve hapless travelers set upon by monsters, my wife suggested they'd make a great single edition. I immediately thought of Ace Doubles. These two stories are an Ace Double. But I gather it's a production pain since you have to commission two covers and arrange the text in a just-so manner. 

Maybe I can't swing a double, but the two tales of a mysterious, dangerous, wider world are what I shall write next. 

A most Merry Christmas!

Paul Rugg and I Were Hired at Warner Bros.

And I Have the Video to Prove It

Yesterday,  December 16, marked 24 years since Paul Rugg and I were offered jobs at Warner Brothers TV Animation. We were over at Paul's house watching Zontar: Thing From Venus, drinking coffee, eating chocolate donuts, and smoking. We'd just turned in scripts for some new show called Animaniacs. (Mine was "Draculee, Draculaa.") Paul's wife was off earning money as a social worker, while my future wife was still employed at the magazine I'd quit two months earlier. Rugg and I were performing improv and sketch comedy at the Acme Comedy Theatre. (Along with cast member Adam Carolla.) Money was very tight. The payment for one script would really help out my Christmas. 

Then Kathy Page, Tom Ruegger's assistant, called to offer us staff jobs and the trajectory of our lives veered sharply into an unexplored cosmos.

We were amazed, stunned, numb. Walking outside, we smoked more and talked it over. Should we take the jobs or would they pollute our comedy pureness by turning it commercial? We would accept the work immediately. 

Now it all seems opaque. If it weren't for the Web and talking to Paul Rugg yesterday, I'd swear the whole experience never happened. But I'm glad it did. (Paul, too.)  So thanks to Tom and Sherri Stoner. (And her husband, M.D. Sweeney, our Acme director, who recommended us.) In honor of that day, here is "Draculee, Draculaa."

h/t: eBaum's World

Thoughts on Part One of Childhood's End

Miniseries Opener Fails to Convince

Last night I watched the first installment of Syfy's Childhood's End, commercials and all. Based on a 1953 novel by British author Arthur C. Clarke, it tells the tale of alien Overlords who visit Earth in order to bring us peace and serenity by forcibly changing our ways, smarten us up, as it were. Well, it works and Earth is a better place for them. But there are questions as to their outward benevolence. These queries will be addressed, I'm betting, in parts two and three.

Our protagonist is a Missouri farmer named Ricky Stormgren, played by Mike Vogel. Because of his conciliatory skills, Ricky has been chosen by the Overlords as a go-between betwixt humans and aliens. He is called the "Blue Collar Prophet." Therein lies the rub. The character of Ricky Stormgren is about as blue collar as a Tesla.

Having been raised in a blue collar household in a neighborhood of cops and electricians and post office workers, I have some knowledge of things blue collar. Having worked in Hollywood and earned large in my day, I have some knowledge of the well-to-do lifestyle. (A memory now, believe me.) Was it the writing or the direction or the source material, I can't say. But Vogel comes across like a well-educated, progressive guy cast as a farmer.

I kept waiting for some explanation, like Stormgren was originally from Silver Springs, Maryland, the son of attorneys, but always had a hankering for the land. Even Stormgren's fantasies are upper income, specifically his honeymoon at the Four Seasons Hotel in New York City and the playoff tickets for an unnamed sport that he never used. Possible for a blue collar guy? Yes, but unlikely as a characteristic of blue collar life is trying to make ends meet and not always successfully. (My parents were married in Chicago and honeymooned ninety minutes away in Lake Geneva, Wisconsin for a few days, then went back to their jobs.)

Why the big fuss? Because the production wants me to believe that alien Overlords have arrived and are interfering with life on earth. In the dramatic story teller - story viewer relationship, that's the one fantastic buy-in the story teller is allowed. I agree to accept this, but the story teller should make everything around the aliens as believable as possible. If they don't, my willing suspension of disbelief refuses to be suspended. In fact, it sits on the floor with both arms wrapped around a table leg.

A yuppie farmer is like a play where you can see past the actors to the stage manager, smoking back stage and reading pornography. That said, the Overlords finally showed themselves. They look, well, different. And we shall see how matters turn out tonight and Wednesday.

I'm hoping the aliens aren't fans of Lena Dunham or read Gawker.

Hallowmass Horror Novel Coming Christmas

Far Beyond My Capacity

Name Change for 'Dunwich Diversity Seminar'

I typed out the old title followed by a page of possible replacements. In the end, I settled on the new moniker "Hallowmass." It refers to a black magic ceremony in the book as well as the climactic sorcery clash atop haunted Sentinel Hill in this update of Lovecraft's Dunwich Horror. Hallowmass is one word, evocative of dark doings, and takes up less space on a thumbnail than the old title. (I also came up with titles and story lines for books two and three, but let's not get presumptuous.)

Beta readers finished their tasks and I collated such of their notes as I thought helpful. Cover art is on the way. Alas, my wife and copyeditor/production manager has been swamped with day job work, hence unavailable to provide the final edit. But it appears her schedule will clear enough to allow the Hallowmass eBook version to go live on Amazon right before Christmas. Hopefully, the soft cover version will be out in late January.

After around six weeks of depression, I'm ready to start the next book, chosen from the many drafts I completed in 2013. Something genre, I believe. I'm looking at another horror story set at sea, a sic fi bildungsroman—fancy talk for coming-of-age-story—taking place in a decaying section of our galaxy, and a fantasy comedy-thriller about a forensic, crime-fighting bear from another dimension which was formerly an animated series pitch.

All shine with the high gloss finish of a new project, untested by the fires of story construction. In three months, I'll be complaining about the new book and thinking about dropping it for something easier.

In other words, business as usual.

My Annual Birthday Post

My lazy man's birthday post.

From December 5, 2011, I repost my birthday thoughts on fame and fortune. What have I learned in three four years? A kind word opens many doors, and that no man stands so tall as when he stoops to help a homunculus.

Also, writing a novel is a butt buster. Thank God I'm almost finished . . . with the book, that is.






Thank you very much to all who have, so far, wished me Happy Birthday. In thinking of this day, I am reminded of several famous Americans who share my date of birth. I will list three and examine their accomplishments as compared to mine.

1. Martin Van Buren - b. Dec. 5, 1782

2. George Armstrong Custer - b. Dec. 5, 1839

3. Walt Disney - b. Dec. 5, 1901

4. John P. McCann - b. Dec. 5, 1952

1. Martin Van Buren succeeded greatly in becoming the 8th President of the United States but was hardly remembered even in his own day. He had a large bull frog stuffed and used as an ink well in the White House. However President Taft later sat on it by accident and they had to throw the thing out. That's about it.

2. George Armstrong Custer succeeded greatly as a soldier in the Civil War but had a mixed record fighting Indians. (1-1-2, I think.) He is best remembered for his spectacular fail at the Battle of the Little Big Horn. At first, everything was going well; then it all fell apart under an Indian tsunami. In later years, Custer had a park named after him as well as a monument and a movie where his part was played by Errol Flynn. That's a whole lot more than Van Buren ever got.

3. Walt Disney succeeded greatly in animation, a pioneer in the field, creator of iconic characters—but not the word 'iconic' which has been seized upon by junior execs.—established Disney studios and Disneyland and is fondly remembered to this day. Nonetheless his body is frozen in a vault beneath Disney's Burbank lot and should Walt be reanimated and start making decisions again it could effect his legacy.

4. John P. McCann was greatly successful as a Hollywood atmosphere player. McCann was the ship-board stand-in for a Canadian actor portraying Errol Flynn in My Wicked, Wicked Ways. In addition, he is visible catching Dennis Quaid's jacket at around 1:19 in a clip from Great Balls of Fire.
More successful in animation, McCann created the non-iconic character of The Huntsman. For the next fifteen years, he piggy-backed onto as many successful shows as his friends would allow. While the record is still being written, outsiders agree that McCann will be remembered by Bank of America and several other creditors who might reasonably feel aggrieved should he pass from the scene within the next several months.

Images: whitehouse.gov, Parcbench, fold3

Why You Should Review My Books

An Astoundingly Simple 3-Step Process 

A fair number of you have read my books. I know because you've told me in person or in emails or, in one unusual case, by bonded messenger. But the majority of you have not reviewed my books on Amazon. So far, my books are a waving hand far back in the upper rows of a crowded stadium. But that can change today provided you follow my simple three-step process:

First, visit my Amazon Author Page.

Second, select the book you have read, or perhaps, you would like to read. You may choose from:

A. Jury Doody - An excellent JP Mac starter essay detailing my experiences as a juror on a strange case of spousal abuse. Short and inexpensive; only in eBook.

B. The Little Book of Big Enlightenment - A fine fictional shredding of New Age religion and aggressive marketing as a guru and a Viagra salesman quarrel over the best way to sell "Condensed Enlightenment." Only in eBook.

C. Fifty Shades of Zane Grey - A parody of E.L. James mawkish tome set in the Old West. Young Anna Ironhead seeks love from railroad tycoon Lash Grey, but will she succumb
to Grey's bizarre eroticism that often acts involves rubber mittens and a cake. The sex is mostly implied, hardly any bad language, and the violence is cartoonish enough to take the sting out. Available in eBook and softcover.

Third, review the correct book.

Ah, but how? You've never reviewed anything. You're not an English major. Words escape you.

You could start by watching Yaasha Moriah's short video presentation on book reviewing for beginners:



Yassha writes speculative fiction, sci-fi, fantasy. Her video is well-lit and she speaks lucidly. In short order you'll learn how you need to identify the main character(s) and the conflict such as Jack and Jill needing to get up a hill, then leave the reader with a question on the main dramatic action. (Will Jack and Jill get up the hill?)

There are tips on listing pros and cons, alerting readers to potentially offensive content, and other simple-to-understand methods that'll have you first timers writing like pros in a heartbeat.

Why review my books? Well, once a book accrues over 50 reviews,  the algorithms kick in and your text shows up in all the right places on Amazon. Sales increase and I'll be able to afford a trainer to whip my big ass back into shape and avoid the heart attack that, by rights, should be parking out front of my life right now.

So give a watch. Review a book. Help make an overweight man healthy.