Machete Film Review from Back-in-the-Day

 A Reprint From a More Innocent Time

A 13-year-old post from the days when I reviewed films I'd never seen.

 

A breathtaking film, Machete is director Robert Rodriguez homage to beloved children’s tale Charlotte’s Web. Set in the southwest, the film employs the subtle storytelling and layered characterizations that have built Rodriguez’s reputation as the David Lean of Texas. Teen heartthrob Danny Trejo portrays Machete, a blade-packing, Wilbur-like character. Forced to move about like a runt pig in order to remain alive, Machete lives on the allegorical chopping block. In a deft choice, Rodriguez crafts a web of racism and corruption that only Machete can slice. Rotten Senator McLaughlin (Robert DeNiro) is the anti-Charlotte. He is assisted by Michael Booth (Jeff Fahey), a hate-filled businessman who kills illegal immigrants and grinds their bones into bone powder. But Machete has his own Templeton the Rat—Shé (Rebecca Rodriguez). Shé is a taco-truck driving revolutionary who hopes to reclaim Texas for Mexico. Once back in the right hands, Texas will be transformed into a paradise, modeled after the Swiss-like order and civic honesty of Tijuana. Rich with themes of loyalty and undying friendship, Machete, not surprisingly, includes a scene at the Texas State Fair. There, Machete wins a blue ribbon for throwing knives at a spinning target on which is tied a pretty girl in tights (Lindsay Lohan). I believe E.B. White would heartily approve.

Reposted: Sept. 09, 2010

Thoughts on Part One of Childhood's End

Miniseries Opener Fails to Convince

Last night I watched the first installment of Syfy's Childhood's End, commercials and all. Based on a 1953 novel by British author Arthur C. Clarke, it tells the tale of alien Overlords who visit Earth in order to bring us peace and serenity by forcibly changing our ways, smarten us up, as it were. Well, it works and Earth is a better place for them. But there are questions as to their outward benevolence. These queries will be addressed, I'm betting, in parts two and three.

Our protagonist is a Missouri farmer named Ricky Stormgren, played by Mike Vogel. Because of his conciliatory skills, Ricky has been chosen by the Overlords as a go-between betwixt humans and aliens. He is called the "Blue Collar Prophet." Therein lies the rub. The character of Ricky Stormgren is about as blue collar as a Tesla.

Having been raised in a blue collar household in a neighborhood of cops and electricians and post office workers, I have some knowledge of things blue collar. Having worked in Hollywood and earned large in my day, I have some knowledge of the well-to-do lifestyle. (A memory now, believe me.) Was it the writing or the direction or the source material, I can't say. But Vogel comes across like a well-educated, progressive guy cast as a farmer.

I kept waiting for some explanation, like Stormgren was originally from Silver Springs, Maryland, the son of attorneys, but always had a hankering for the land. Even Stormgren's fantasies are upper income, specifically his honeymoon at the Four Seasons Hotel in New York City and the playoff tickets for an unnamed sport that he never used. Possible for a blue collar guy? Yes, but unlikely as a characteristic of blue collar life is trying to make ends meet and not always successfully. (My parents were married in Chicago and honeymooned ninety minutes away in Lake Geneva, Wisconsin for a few days, then went back to their jobs.)

Why the big fuss? Because the production wants me to believe that alien Overlords have arrived and are interfering with life on earth. In the dramatic story teller - story viewer relationship, that's the one fantastic buy-in the story teller is allowed. I agree to accept this, but the story teller should make everything around the aliens as believable as possible. If they don't, my willing suspension of disbelief refuses to be suspended. In fact, it sits on the floor with both arms wrapped around a table leg.

A yuppie farmer is like a play where you can see past the actors to the stage manager, smoking back stage and reading pornography. That said, the Overlords finally showed themselves. They look, well, different. And we shall see how matters turn out tonight and Wednesday.

I'm hoping the aliens aren't fans of Lena Dunham or read Gawker.

Albatross Review Up at F.O.G.

Learn why bees are a good addition to any family drama.

The Devil Inside - Review

Forces of Geek unveils my look at the latest exorcism extravaganza.

Iron Lady Review Up at F.O.G.

Your Write Enough host bemoans all the politics that clutter up The Iron Lady and interfere with a good ghost tale.

Burn away some silly political material and you’re left with the meat of this film— a former British Prime Minister finds herself haunted by a ghost.

This peek at the later years of Margaret Thatcher blurs the line in a mirthful way between living and dead, objective reality and the spectral.

We’re invited to ponder universal questions such as whether we’ll see ghosts if we make it to our 80s—and will our ghosts be as puckish as Mrs. Thatcher’s translucent visitor.

Read more at this particular spot.

We Bought A Zoo Review Up at F.O.G.

This week's look at a new release.



A sentimental tale of a family purchasing a zoo, this film swung and missed for our hearts by ignoring CGI and 3D.

Opportunities for an epic scale were jettisoned in favor of old-fashioned story and acting rendered entirely on film.

What could’ve have been the adventure of a lifetime was compressed to an ordinary heart-warming tale about living life and reaching out to others. (As if reaching out to others wouldn’t have been infinitely cooler in 3D.)

More to be read here.

'Chipwrecked' Review Up at F.O.G.

(Forces of Geek once again hosts my cinematic take on an upcoming release.)

Not since Goin’ Coconuts has a tropical movie misfired on so many cylinders. No amount of witty lines can lighten arson, murder, and a descent into barbarism.

And that’s what awaits in Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked.

Read the rest here.

The Sitter Review Up at F.O.G.

Forces of Geek hosts my latest in-depth look at cinema. This week—The Sitter:

On the surface this movie appears to be an 81-minute, R-rated version of Uncle Buck, but underneath simmers a bold statement about the price men pay for transgressing gender roles in the baby-sitting field.

Jonah Hill’s character Noah Griffith is a self-absorbed slacker, suspended from college.

Needing money, he babysits his neighbor’s three semi-feral children. When his girlfriend (Ari Graynor) invites him to a party with the promise of sex, Griffith packs up the annoying youngsters and drives into the land of unintended consequences.

A raunchy, hormone fest aimed at teenage boys?

Ah, there’s the cunning.

Read the rest here.

The Artist Review Up at F.O.G.

At Forces of Geek, my insightful report on contemporary silent film, The Artist.

I almost threw up my Brie and Triscuits.

How in the world can you release a film and forget the dialogue track?

I know it’s incredible when you think of how many people must sign off on a major motion picture. And yet there were the actors speaking on screen but no voices emerged.

More here.

Arthur Christmas: 'Wages of Fear' Remake Misses Mark

(My latest review is up at Forces of Geek. If time permits, please stop by and comment. In any case, a most Happy Thanksgiving!)

Set at the North Pole, Arthur Christmas is a digital 3-D holiday adventure delving into themes of futility, alienation and madness. This grim 97-minute character exploration revolves around the bumbling, failed son of Santa Claus.

In a desperate grab for attention, he takes a sleigh ride with an ex-Santa grandfather who remains trapped in a past of eggnog, candy canes and the feral scent of sweaty reindeer.

Read more at Forces of Geek.

Image: Live For Films

Troll Hunter Rawks!

Thanks to Paul Rugg for alerting me to 2010's The Troll Hunter. This Nordic Blair Witch threads together tense spooky scenes of young filmmakers trailing an odd mysterious man through the Norwegian back country with absolutely hilarious deadpan moments. It's a tough sell but the filmmakers stay balanced between comedy and suspense throughout and avoid the bad-good label of movies like Troll—let alone Troll 2. On Netflix. I will only say that Paul and I watched it together and laughed at certain scenes in giddy delight.

I Will Review at Forces of Geek

F.O.G editor-in-chief Stefan Blitz has kindly provided Write Enough a forum where I may post my inaccurate over-thought film reviews. I'll try and capture the same insight I demonstrated in last year's cinematic examinations of The Expendables and The Last Exorcism.

I'll sing out when the first post is up—should be within a week of two.