Happy Canada Day!

With dominions, provinces, and a House of Commons, our northern neighbor proudly celebrates the Constitution Act of 1867 when three provinces were linked to form one country. Read more here. In honor of their day, I present The 48th Highlanders of Canada Pipes and Drums playing "The Maple Leaf Forever." (Incidentally, this is an excellent song to blast when the neighbor kids crank up the rap too loud.)

Deconstructing Dac Encanto's Poetry

Originally published right here over five years ago.

Designs by CK

(The following verse by truculent poet Dac Encanto appears in the University of California Press anthology, Surly Postmodern Poems for Pre-Retro People. "Deuce Moon" explores Encanto's almost pathological hatred for the moon, a leitmotif critics have called "lunar hatred" or, in German, Mondblindheit meaning "moon blindness." I shall perform a short deconstruction, but no insight has yet surfaced to explain this Mondblindheit. Encanto will only spit in contempt if you ask.)

Deuce Moon 

 by Dac Encanto 

Round and bright, 

idiot face, 

planet wannabe, 

taking up space, 

(Encanto's lunar works always refer to the moon as full. Once, on a Danish talk show, he was informed the moon appeared in phases and sometimes, not at all. Encanto grew confused and sarcastic, storming off the set, taking with him a pen and a coffee mug.)

 Dumb ass satellite, 

so uncool, 

on your dusty surface, 

I'd drop a stool, 

(The threat of public defecation appears in many of Encanto's works. This was not an idle threat or a metaphor — as Duke Professor Gale Bogminder has suggested. If properly disturbed, Encanto will mete out a pooey punishment regardless of location or circumstance. The 2006 panel incident at the UCLA Book Fair is the reason all subsequent poet panels have been required to keep mobile screens and drums of disinfectant at the ready. Bogminder knows this.)

 But I can't, 

(I'd die), 

You lucked out, 

No lie, G.I. 

(Encanto's poems are peppered with pidgin-english phrases often associated with Asian prostitutes such as "You Numba 10," and "Souvenir me carton of Salems, baby." Context often provides a hazy explanation. As to the moon having "lucked out," this refers to an incident at the height of Mondblindheit when Encanto tried bribing NASA to have the moon killed. All charges were eventually dropped. However, Encanto did serve jail time for an incident that took place in court involving the prosecutor's briefcase.)

Author Neil Ostroff on New Amazon Royalty Rules

Amazon.Com narrowly misses squashing a man. Topix

Amazon grips authors by the throat. Listen to mystery writer Neil Ostroff:

"As most authors now know Amazon is going to start paying [them] for the amount of pages read and not for each complete book. I'm not certain how I feel about this. One the plus side, it could free readers up to explore more books if they are only going to pay for it if they like it. On the negative, most casual readers never finish a book or do it over a long period of time. And how about if readers skip a section? What will it do to royalties?"

Excellent point. For instance, I read short fiction and often skim like a great aquatic bug, skipping stories hither and yon. This lets me read more genre fiction from unknown authors. But now, so it seems, Amazon will reap the sales, as always, and short change the authors all because I don't read every stinking page.

This is the problem with giantism, whether corporate or governmental. At some point, the behemoth simply acts as it pleases to increase profits or power and the little guy gets rolled.

Read the rest of Neil Ostroff's post at his blog Always Writing.


Note: My Norma Rae-like shot at giantism notwithstanding,  the above change only applies to Kindle Unlimited and the Lending Library bit of Amazon Prime. Read more at this place here.

Pig, Goat, Banana, Cricket, Paul Rugg

Image: NickALive

Traveling by train from California to our nation's capitol as if this were 1948, Paul Rugg relaxes in the club car as the July 18 premier of Pig, Goat, Banana, Cricket approaches on animated little feet. As mentioned, Paul voices the character of Cricket, a sensitive young creature who discovers that he has been chosen to be the PROMISED TWO—someone second in line behind the PROMISED ONE.  Or I could have this mixed up with my Vision Quest. Find out for yourselves on Nick at 10:30 Saturday mornings.

50 ZG Back in Kindle Top 100

50 Shades of Zane Grey once again cracks the century mark in Amazon Kindle for Humor Satire. I'm not sure how the softcover version fares but I'm pretty sure I've disposed of a couple. A few sales are just the 'attaboy' I need right now as I battle through the latest version of my comedy-horror book set in Lovecraft's Dunwich. 

Instapundit Plugs 50 Shades of Zane Grey

Thanks to Instapundit Glenn Reynolds for his thoughtful mention of my book.

Health and Publishing News

You never know what a prostate does until you don't have one. But my last two blood tests have returned cancer free and so I'm thankful and accept my glacial recovery. I can stretch a little and ride a stationary bike for exercise as I attempt to shrink my bloated weight. When you can't burn calories,  Ho-Hos are no-nos. 

Purchase today!

If you hate Kindles or Nooks or smart phone apps and pine for the days of crinkly paper in your hands, then rejoice! The Little Book of Big Enlightenment will soon be out in durable softcover. My estimate is sometime in the next sixty days. Thrill to the squabbles between a marketing hack and a New Age guru over the direction of this decade's hottest guide to spirituality. Imagine the envy of strangers as you proudly read a book that is your passport to the astounding insights of "condensed enlightenment." Gape at the villainy of Big Spirit and their truculent plans to keep you unenlightened. Coming soon with a new, even more obscure cover!

Video: Comic Jeff Lewis

A former improv comrade, Jeff Lewis cranked out a ton of five-minute comedy hours. Here's one on office dating.


h/t: 5minutehour

D Day Salute Video

Thank you American, British, and Canadian troops for your valor on June 6, 1944. Note the three "invasion stripes" on the wings of the aircraft.


h/t: unknownWW2inColor

Lunch with Paul Rugg

Paul on the right, makes an interesting point.

Last Thursday Paul and I dined. He was killing time before his taping for Netflix' Puss 'N Boots. Paul Rugg is the voice of Artephis, a character filled with exuberance and the desire to dive into a pool of stew. The show runner is a man always employed, executive producer Doug Langdale. And the talent is directed by the most sterling Andrea Romano. At a coffee shop in the Burbank area, Paul had the bacon cheeseburger, finishing it along with French Fries—he left a few—and a bottomless glass of ice tea. I had my usual of crackers, sugar, Tabasco sauce and water. I took napkins home with me. It's been that kind of year.
Image: Hensen Wiki

Memorial Day Moment

I used to write "Happy Memorial Day." But it's not really a cheery sort of holiday. Solemn. Thoughtful. Everything has its price. That's something worth keeping in mind.

History.com