Review: Undrastormur

Undrastormur by Roger Eschbacher
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Drawing on Norse mythology, this short fantasy piece tells the tale of a young man who must recover a magic talisman in order to free his village from man-eating trolls.

Good opening and fast pace move the story forward. Protagonist Erik is a reluctant hero,a young man guided by a guardian spirit and compelled to visit a dreaded underworld to locate the only magical item powerful enough to slay trolls. But is Erik wizard enough to control the mighty Undrastormur or Wonder Storm?

There's enough description to color in the setting without bogging the reader down in a sea of made-up names. The characters seemed real and the dialogue crisp, with humor blended in to balance the action.

A fast satisfying read.

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50ZG Launches!

A different kind of romance. 

At last, Amazon pulls the lever, opens the door, throws the switch, kicks the Kraken in the buns, or whatever it is they do, and put up Fifty Shades of Zane Grey. In Kindle eBook format, my parody of E.L. James' steamy best-seller is ready for the reading public. Is it steamy? Not really. It's pretty PG. I didn't think I could top professional steamy writers, let alone the astounding variations you find on the Web. But I can make fun of E.L. James' writing style and have in time for Friday's release of the movie.

So, back to work on TV animation. But I leave you with the words of Napoleon:

"Victory belongs to the most persevering. It also belongs to tall people whom I hate. Victory would be better if it only belonged to persistent shorties like me. But you can't have everything and that's precisely what I want. I'm going to Russia now."

"In Review" Plus 12

telltalegames

During the Second World War, men served in the armed forces for the duration plus six months. That meant you were "in the army now" for the entire war plus six additional months there after. (Hell of a note if we'd lost. In fact, we won and soldiers weren't too crazy about it.) This is where I roughly sit regarding the publication of Fifty Shades of Zane Grey. According to an Amazon email from this morning, being "in review" lasts for an indeterminate amount of time followed by twelve hours of technical this 'n that.

Amazon estimated another two days to publication.

On my author page it clearly states that review AND technical this 'n that comes out to twelve hours total. (Naturally, they hedge by taking it all back in the next sentence, but that's probably the legal department.) Up to this point, Amazon has loaded my last two eBooks on their site within the now-fuzzy twelve hour window.

It's not like my book is some whopping 1,400 page Stephen King novel, or a four-volume history of maritime law. It's a hundred and four page parody. That's it. Does it really take five days to vet the thing?

“Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet . . . unless you're trying to publish on Amazon.com. Then go open a Lyceum."

—Aristotle 

Hour 28 "In Review" and Auden

Boy, are you ever. 

Amazon really porked me on this one. All the promos I set up for today are shot. Now on to what? Weekends are peak Kindle sales and they'll probably still be farting around well into Saturday. This is a rare moment when I'm glutted with paying gigs—a marketing deadline tomorrow morning and animation deadlines on Monday, Tuesday with another marketing deadline on Wednesday. I'd counted on having the eBook up and running, but now it will arrive in the midst of everything else.

"About suffering they were never wrong,
The Old Masters: how well they understood
Its human position; how it takes place
While someone else is eating or opening a window or just
walking dully along;"

—Musee des Beaux Arts
W.H. Auden

Gilbert Gottfried Reads '50 Shades'

h/t: Jest-What's Funny Today

Meanwhile, I'm stuck "in review," awaiting Amazon to approve my parody eBook. This is the most pre-publicity I've done on a launch and now Amazon hangs me up. Come on, guys. Set it free.

Kardashian Luvs '50 Shades'

A private film screening. A celebrity. An opinion. And that opinion is 'So hot!' Thus does Kim Kardashian pronounce her thoughts on the screen version of Fifty Shades of Grey. Click on the link and see the new trailer.

Tomorrow Fifty Shades of Zane Grey, my E.L. James parody set in the Old West, goes live on Amazon.com, also available on my Amazon author page. There will be lip biting, murmuring, and raids by the Sioux.

Below Will Ferrell and Zack Galifianakis take a shot at reading the best-selling, erotic novel bound for the big screen next Friday.

h/t: S T Media 

Friends in Hell Podcast

Here is the podcast, thanks to the generosity of Kevinn Gomez, a busy young guy aiming to make a mark in animation. I believe he will.

Friends in Hell Podcast Plus

Today at 4:30 PM Pacific Time, I will again be chatting with podcaster Kevinn Gomez. I have no idea what he'll ask, but I shall answer in some fashion and off we go.

TV animation writing has picked up. I have an assignment for Thomas Edison's Secret Lab and await a premise for Tom Ruegger on 7D.

Chapters from 50 Shades of Zane Grey are arriving hot off the copy editor's screen. We're looking at a launch next Friday, Feb. 6 at Amazon Kindle. So break out your e readers and stand by. I'll post a link to the book page as soon as Amazon vets my version. Or you can always check out my Amazon Author page.

Be chipper in all your tasks this day.

Thomas Edison's Secret Lab and friends. More info at kidscreen.

TVIT with Actor Tom Wilson

wallpaperkid

My bad, but Wednesday night saw edition five of That Voiceover Improv Thing casting forth it's laugh net over our fine web. Featuring voice over artists performing an hour of comedy improv, the podcast featured guest Tom Wilson. Because you did not laugh Wednesday night does not mean you cannot laugh tonight, a Sunday, a slow night for laughs. Take advantage of podcasting technology and listen in.

50ZG Almost Finished

Thanks to beta reader Ken for pointing out the stinking obvious: my parody of 50 Shades had morphed into two books. There was the straight ahead mocking of the 50 Shades protagonist and author E. L. James clunky, trite writing style. Then there was an old west story of corruption, ineptitude, and arrogance centered around a newspaper, a railroad and an Indian uprising that featured drama, action, betrayal, but few laughs.

I'm better now. I have culled out the 50 Shades material and am polishing it up for release in two weeks. Today that's a bit over 30,000 words or 100 pages. No soft cover. Ebook only.

But I'm keeping all the old west stuff because it could easily be a separate book. Friend and fellow bibliophile Dan lent me Cormac McCarthy's Blood Meridian. I don't know if that's the right model, but I'm taking a look at a few contemporary westerns to see how authors are tackling the genre now days. Of course, there are the old standbys such as Louis L'Amour and early Elmore Leonard.

Come Friday, January 30, I return to podcast Friends in Hell with host Kevinn Gomez. We will discuss—I don't know—50 Shades of Zane Grey, TV animation, my recent health issues, and whatever else strikes our fancy. More updates here on this very blog.

Rough Edges

Medical Billing Muck + 50ZG Update

Ah, the rich life of poor health.

Take this prescription to your pharmacy, go back for a refill, get charged full price, call the health insurance, wither on a phone tree, be shunted to dead ends, check their web site and learn there's no way to ask a question that isn't in the FAQ. Call back, dangle like a Christmas ornament on the phone tree, finally learn that you must obtain a document from your doctor to get a refill on medication. Punt to the doctor's insurance team. They must have a nurse sign off on the request. Check back and learn the nurse has placed said request in the pipeline. Ten days later receive an OK from the insurance.

This is what I face in the morning before writing a single word.

Okay, on to '50 Shades.' With less than a month to go, I have the home stretch in sight. Beta readers are devouring the early chapters. But a big tubby question remains:

Will readers care for a book mocking a best-seller if they aren't familiar with the original?

And who in the name of triangular crackers is Zane Grey?

My wife suggested I write a forward, explain that Grey, King of Western Sagas, wrote last century and left behind an experimental novel exploring psychological disorders, sexual awakening and Indian attacks set in the Old West. I have obtained a copy and ask the reader to note the similarities between this book and E. L. James' 50 Shades of Grey trilogy.

Might be too many elements piled too high for the casual reader.

However, I'm pressing on because it will be my first completed fiction novel. Like any parent, I love my child, even the misshapen ugly ones.

Here's my latest salute to 50 Shades.


h/t: Movieclips