A Hat Trick of Bad Health

 Ever since my return from way down yonder in New Orleans, my health has been many things, none of them positive.

My wife took ill on the plane-ride back to Los Angeles. Naturally, that meant that I would take ill several days hence. Sure enough,  I came down with a bad fever, much worse than COVID. It was like having mononucleosis once more. I slept, napped, woke up, then went to bed. However, I did drop ten pounds, a poor man's weight loss program.

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Just as the fever abated, I came down with a urinary tract infection. Spending the night peeing out five drops of bloody urine helped eliminate my recent sleep overage. As a male, UTIs often mean trouble in the kidneys and/or bladder. At an UrgentCare, I was given a kidney/bladder ultrasound, a cocktail of antibiotics injected into my butt and a prescription for big plump antibiotic tablets. I took them all, but it felt like the injected obliterated the infection.

So, feeling good, except I noticed a rash developing all over my body. At first, I thought it was some kind of prickly heat. But that night, I woke at 2 AM unable to sleep, because the stinking rash itched like blazes. I pressed the skin, took cold showers, thought of picnics and adorable kittens, but nothing checked the relentless itching.  

And the rash and itching were spreading to unrashed body regions.

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 The next day, the dermatologist said I was undergoing a drug reaction to medicine. Ah, but which medicine? The doctor took a pair of biopsies to nail down the culprit. Meanwhile, I was instructed to finish out the plump UTI tablets, then stop taking my normal medication for cholesterol and high blood pressure. Once again, my bottom received another injection—cortisone. The itching diminished that day and the next and the next. Now I must lather my rash daily with a medicinal cream plus pop a pair of over-the-counter medicines. Slowly, the rash fades.

Anyway, several days have passed without me visiting a doctor. I'm delighted. If this keeps up, I might even start running again.

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