Fun with Phiippine Phish

blink.net

Cheeky Fellow Seeks Cash From Formerly Overweight Writer

Not the musical group from the early 90s. They are neither foreign, nor do they seek money from me via a scam launched with an old email. Nevertheless, I'm being phished via an ancient account belonging to my cousin's hub. Here is the pitch:

 I'm in Manila, Philippine right now with my family on Holiday and I'm short on cash right here, I tried to access my account from the cash machines here and it's not working, I went to the bank to withdraw and I was informed that I cannot withdraw money from my account in some countries,that it's network errors, I'm thinking if I could get a quick loan of $1,500 from you or anything you can afford to loan me so that I can clear some little things here and also take a cab to the airport. I promise to refund it as soon as I get back home Friday morning, let me know so I can send you my details.

Waiting to hear from you.

I respond:

As you know, I've earned my living for years shooting rabid dogs for the county of Los Angeles.

Due to recent cutbacks, I'm afraid that money has been tight.

I could send you a large jar of change. I don't know if there's $1,500 inside, but the jar

is very large.

Let me know. 

Also, I read somewhere that many of the cash machines in Manila operate by

placing sugar cane into a slot. Did you try that? 

Yours in the Purity of Our Essence,

JP 

The next move is up to Mr. Phish.

Oh, did I mention "formerly overweight?" Yes, I believe I did. My iintermittent fasting diet continues to show results. Last month, I discarded an additional two inches off my waist. I'll weigh myself later today and see where matters rest after two months.

In case you've never seen the Northern Lights, neither has Phish.

PHISHjohnsonPHISH's channel