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Another Untold Story From the Hollywood Slush Pile
In any given year roughly 250,000 speculative screenplays circulate around Hollywood, written for free by someone with a dream and a keyboard. Perhaps 50 will be purchased. That means 249,950 untold stories will silently wither, never to stimulate our imagination. But that Darwinian process ends here. Write Enough! is committed to resurrecting moribund scripts from the Hollywood Slush Pile, drawing on a veritable Marianas Trench of passed over stories for a peek at what might have been made, written by those who might've been paid.
Today we consider a 2015 submission entitled, NCIS: Yosemite.
Sailors are turning up slain in Yosemite National Park and it's up to the crack investigative team of the Naval Criminal Investigative Services to find out who, or what, is leaving our bluejackets deader than a sequel to Battlefield Earth.
The 28-year old unemployed student held a Master's Degree in Spittoon Art and $64,000 in student loan debt. He lived in a small room in Burbank, California, upstairs from a urine bank. In the fall of 2013, his girlfriend left him for a man who sold bagged oranges on freeway off ramps. Unemployed, except for the money brought in by a supervisory position with Americorps, Peters' life revolved around his smart phone, Amazon Prime, and NCIS.
Wearing headphones to drown out the constant downstairs flushing, Peters devoured episode after episode of the popular police procedural, year after year, Los Angeles to New Orleans. He loved the characters, especially the forensic tech with mad skills and a quirky personality. But he hated the fact that the show was not included free in the Prime members catalogue. Each episode required a separate purchase. Peters resented paying $1.99 a pop.
Then one afternoon, an epiphany: what if NCIS were a film? A film with a crime so cunning, that it's resolution would ensnare viewers like himself to watch over and over again? A film included free in the Amazon Prime members catalogue?
Quiz Peters finally realized he would have to strike the spark, light the match, stuff a flaming possum into the gas tank of Hollywood. He would have to write the script himself.
Inspired, Peters took screenwriting courses online. He read Syd Field and Robert McKee. He took lessons from a man in a park who had once worked on The Last Airbender. Completing a story outline, character descriptions and pages of sample dialogue, Peters, after several months, finally typed FADE IN.
Almost as an afterthought, Peters scattered identical clues around each murder scene. Whether near Nevada Falls or atop Half Dome, crude signs in poor English would be uncovered saying, "Enemy bears no do this." From there, the plot decayed rapidly into an uprising by quirky bears with the Act III climax occurring at both a naval facility on Coronado Island and Comic Con.
Peters was unable to place his script with an agent or producer. On one occasion, a studio script reader came to his home and struck him. Wounded by the cruel, uncaring response to his work, Quiz Peters retreated back into Amazon Prime. He has since moved to Flan, New Mexico and is rumored to be living above a dung bank.
But now a lost tale has finally been told.
As we leave Dream Land, feel free to check out my horror novel, Hallow Mass over at Amazon. I'm on good terms with Jeff Bezos, as far as I know. Pick up a copy of the book that reviewer David I. Johnston called a "fun . . . fast-paced updating of the Lovecraft mythos."
Today we consider a 2015 submission entitled, NCIS: Yosemite.
Sailors are turning up slain in Yosemite National Park and it's up to the crack investigative team of the Naval Criminal Investigative Services to find out who, or what, is leaving our bluejackets deader than a sequel to Battlefield Earth.
Quiz Peters was alone.
The 28-year old unemployed student held a Master's Degree in Spittoon Art and $64,000 in student loan debt. He lived in a small room in Burbank, California, upstairs from a urine bank. In the fall of 2013, his girlfriend left him for a man who sold bagged oranges on freeway off ramps. Unemployed, except for the money brought in by a supervisory position with Americorps, Peters' life revolved around his smart phone, Amazon Prime, and NCIS.
Wearing headphones to drown out the constant downstairs flushing, Peters devoured episode after episode of the popular police procedural, year after year, Los Angeles to New Orleans. He loved the characters, especially the forensic tech with mad skills and a quirky personality. But he hated the fact that the show was not included free in the Prime members catalogue. Each episode required a separate purchase. Peters resented paying $1.99 a pop.
Then one afternoon, an epiphany: what if NCIS were a film? A film with a crime so cunning, that it's resolution would ensnare viewers like himself to watch over and over again? A film included free in the Amazon Prime members catalogue?
Could Robert McKee Hold the Answers?
Peters called CBS but couldn't get past the automated answering system. He trolled Reddit NCIS bulletin boards, seeking allies. He Tweeted. He drove past Fox, Universal, and Warner Bros. studies, yelling his ideas out through a bullhorn. He stalked Jeff Bezos and spent several months in jail.Quiz Peters finally realized he would have to strike the spark, light the match, stuff a flaming possum into the gas tank of Hollywood. He would have to write the script himself.
Inspired, Peters took screenwriting courses online. He read Syd Field and Robert McKee. He took lessons from a man in a park who had once worked on The Last Airbender. Completing a story outline, character descriptions and pages of sample dialogue, Peters, after several months, finally typed FADE IN.
The Unseen Hand of Chick-Fil-A
In his story, yes, U.S. Navy personal were being found dead in Yosemite. But Peters became side-tracked by making all the characters quirky. The Supervisory Special Agent, the Special Agents, and the Medical Examiner dressed as Klingons, or nursed a desire to live as a baboon, or spent hours online flaming fellow geeks over plot points in Attack on Titan.Almost as an afterthought, Peters scattered identical clues around each murder scene. Whether near Nevada Falls or atop Half Dome, crude signs in poor English would be uncovered saying, "Enemy bears no do this." From there, the plot decayed rapidly into an uprising by quirky bears with the Act III climax occurring at both a naval facility on Coronado Island and Comic Con.
Peters was unable to place his script with an agent or producer. On one occasion, a studio script reader came to his home and struck him. Wounded by the cruel, uncaring response to his work, Quiz Peters retreated back into Amazon Prime. He has since moved to Flan, New Mexico and is rumored to be living above a dung bank.
But now a lost tale has finally been told.
Other Untold Stories From the Hollywood Slush Pile
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As we leave Dream Land, feel free to check out my horror novel, Hallow Mass over at Amazon. I'm on good terms with Jeff Bezos, as far as I know. Pick up a copy of the book that reviewer David I. Johnston called a "fun . . . fast-paced updating of the Lovecraft mythos."
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