Monday, September 03, 2007

Happiest Race on Earth

At least that's what it said on my finisher's medal. And what a medal! But I'm getting ahead. The Disneyland Half Marathon was the second hottest race I've ever run. (2005 Honolulu Marathon was first, but not by much.) It was muggy at 4:30 AM and only got stickier as dawn approached.

A quick digression: I believe the afterlife may well be modeled after Disneyland. They certainly know how to move large numbers of people quickly and efficiently.

Back at the race, many runners entered the spirt of the event and wore mouse ears or Minnie Mouse outfits. A lone Japanese guy wore a hat with faux flowers growing out of the crown. During the race, many runners took the opportunity to stop and have photos taken with Alice in Wonderland, the Mad Hatter, and some giant thing from Monsters. (The one that was voiced by John Goodman.)

In any case, the temperature was high enough that the park issued a red flag warning. Interesting choice on Labor Day. Apparantly, communists would shoot runners who finished ahead of anyone in a lower economic class.

Red would be followed by the most extreme temperature warning — a black flag. Not only would it be blazing hot, but anarchists would hurl bombs into the crowd as well as assassinate selected elite runners. Once the race was destabilized, they could introduce autonomous trade unions and a runners' collective, using strikes to compel the race director to step down and allow the development of spontaneous running events without formal organization.

But that would also mean no big, fat finisher medals shaped like the Magic Kingdom.

Happy Labor Day!


ilovesteaks said...

Congrats! That was really a scorcher. I looked for you but never did see you. I will look for you again at the next half marathon. =)

John P. McCann said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
John P. McCann said...

Hey Steaks,

I finished about a minute behind you. But I was too zapped to do more than slug down water, then stagger to my car and sit in the air conditioning.

Nice medal though, huh?


Raul! said...

Congrats, John! I woke up that morning and said to myself, "Thank God I don't have to run today."

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