Elmore Leonard's Rules of Writing

Image: Listmaker

Tips from a guy who has written a couple of novels including a book on writing.

1.  Never open a book with weather.
2.  Avoid prologues.
3.  Never use a verb other than "said" to carry dialogue.
4.  Never use an adverb to modify the verb "said”…he admonished gravely.
5.  Know that if you're me, anything you write will be made into a movie. Anything. Seriously, anything.  (I added this one.)

And, of course, his famous advice:
"If it sounds like writing, I re-write it."

My Writing Schedule

Image: www.Clipartof.com

Since it now consumes the bulk of my day, here's a peek into my authorial life:

1. Get up around 4:45 and write down my goals for 2013, including publishing 3 ebooks on Amazon.com by Dec. 1.

2. Write for an hour before breakfast.

3. Write four to five more hours.

4. Go to the gym.

5. Write another hour.

6. Spend an hour researching the ebook biz.

7. Eat dinner.

8. Watch an hour of reality show crime TV.

9. Go to bed by 9:30.

That's five days a week, with only two hours of writing and one hour of researching on Saturday. On Sunday I clean off my desk, pay the bills, and write out the next week's schedule. I will have three finished ebooks—probably two novellas and a novel—written by Thanksgiving. No one is making me do this. No one is paying me to do this. But there has never been a better time to be an author. Ebooks have changed the publishing landscape. I'm climbing on board before head implants replace the Kindle.

I Live and Do Things!

Yes, it's true. So many new things. Too many to discuss right now, but soon. If it weren't for those new things, other things would creep up and take their place so I'm grateful. Are home fries the little potato cubes?

Happy Easter!

I assume no one shows up here anymore and that this blog is more arid than the Mojave. In any case, I have set a task for myself of writing and publishing three ebooks by Dec. 1. My days consists of getting up around 5:00 AM, writing until around noon, off to the gym, then write until about six. Occasionally, paying work interrupts such as this week when I have marketing copy to produce. In addition, animation still lingers as I'm preparing to pitch a number of ideas to Amazon.com's new animation division. Who knows what Amazon will do next? Possibly surgery or cattle insemination. Nevertheless, a Happy Easter to all! (Image: waterfordlibrary.net)

Giant of the Unknown

In honor of this week's of review of Jack the Giant Slayer,  I offer you another big man movie from days of yore. A giant of a film

h/t: cinecapripictures

Good Day to Die Hard Review Up at F.O.G.

When there are terrorists to be harvested, it's time for John McClain. Bruce Willis is back in this latest incarnation of the Die Hard series as "Reviews of Films I Have Never Seen" dishes behind-the-scenes dirt obtained at no-risk from a source in craft services. Read more here. Image: thefilmgeekguy@blogspot.com

Tough New York cop John McClain (Bruce Willis) shoots the beard off Lenin.

I Am An Absentee Bloglord

For a reason, mind you. This year, 2013, I have set myself a task. Three ebooks written and published by Dec. 31, 2013. This task yields to paying work in either TV animation or marketing but is never dropped. So far, I've managed to stay on schedule, weaving my daily hours around paying gigs. To date, I've discovered that six hours of heads-down writing is about all I can muster. Afterwards, my mind is as clouded and thick as the skull of an animation industry junior executive.

I have taken one class on ebook publishing and am slated to take another in March. An assembly line process seems to work best. I complete a draft, then move on to the next book. There are two short stories mixed in for change-of-pace and to allow me to savor smaller accomplishments.

In any case, wish me well on this hefty endeavour.

Warm Bodies Review Up at F.O.G.

Can the living and dead bridge their differences and find true love? I don't know but I speculate as if I did know over at the revamped Forces of Geek. Visit "Reviews of Films I Have Never Seen" and peruse my take on Warm Bodies. Enjoy the new larger font! Image: the daily grindhouse

John Malkovich ponders what to do when his daughter dates the dead?

The Last Stand Review Up at F.O.G.

Like a fine wine, Arnold Schwarzenegger is best uncorked at the proper temperature: in his case, molten hot. As a sheriff with a past and deputies you wouldn't trust with guns made from candy, (except for the chick who is weapon savvy and quite deadly—an angle rarely seen) the old Terminator battles a narco-crook and his cartel cronies. However this time there's something unusual and awkward. Visit Forces of Geek and read this week's "Reviews of Films I Have Never Seen" to fully mal educate yourself about this movie. Image: schoolrack.com

A man, a sheriff, a killing dynamo, Arnold is on screen and scowling again.

Animaniacs Airs on Hub

To air is human. It's been reported on, shouted, written about, pondered, celebrated, but allow me to join in announcing the arrival of Animaniacs to the Hub cable channel beginning this Mon. January 7. For how long? YOU will determine that. View wisely and often and may your slacks be rich in baloney.  

h/t: HUBTVNETWORK

Texas Chainsaw 3D Review Up at F.O.G.

Not what you think. The filmmakers went for something different. Cutting? In a way. But not any way you might expect or want. Unravel these riddles over at Forces of Geek as Reviews of Films I Have Never Seen greets 2013 with a peek at the remake of a 70's drive-in classic. Image: Screen Crush

Lose your clothes and lose your life. But will this old slasher film staple be continued?