Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Reviewless Thursday

Tomorrow will be reviewless as assignments pile up like great waves upon a breakwater. Ah, but next week. Then something will happen. But not before.

Thursday, August 23, 2012

The Apparition Up at F.O.G.

Out with the old, in with the new. But what if the old was better? Than you're stuck with a lousy 'new' and the knowledge that you kind of blew it. Does director Todd Lincoln feel this way as his film teeters on the precipice of release? Does he wonder if old school scoring might have been the ticket? These questions await your fine viewing at Forces of Geek as "Reviews of Films I Have Never Seen" examines matters musical in Dark Castle/Warner Bros. feature film, The Apparition. I wrote the review and I'm going back to read it again. Join me. Image: Just Jared Jr
"I sure wish this movie had scary organ music," say the characters before embracing.

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Apparition Lacks Key Ingredient

All hands on deck in a Dark Castle/Warner Bros. release.




What in the name of breaded goose could that be? Director Todd Lincoln pushes the boundaries of originality in his latest horror film, slated for Friday release. Lincoln tramples tradition like a revolutionary zealot in his quest to be fresh. But new is not always better as I argue in tomorrow's "Reviews of Films I Have Never Seen," your go-to guide for fictional reports on real cinema. Image: IMDb

Thursday, August 16, 2012

ParaNorman Review Up at F.O.G.

Do you want people to say, "Gee, [your name] is so well informed about film and behind-the-scene events in Hollywood?" Imagine yourself looked up to and admired for having all the inside movie scoop before anyone else. Now is your chance to became a figure of coolness. Now is your opportunity to move up the social ladder. Visit Forces of Geek. Read "Reviews of Films I Have Never Seen" and absorb the details that went into making ParaNorman. Elect not to read this report and you will be sneered at by hipsters in black clothing. Don't let that happen. Up your status big time today. You're gonna be liked. Really liked. Image: Super Punch
A character is seized by a serious giant in Laika Entertainment's ParaNorman.

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

ParaNorman Not a Remake of Gnome-Mobile

Rumors abound in Hollywood, most of them true. But there are two floating around regarding the upcoming release of Laika Entertainment's scary ParaNorman. To be on the inside track, visit Forces of Geek tomorrow and check out "Reviews of Films I Have Never Seen." Learn the gossip surrounding this apparent stop-motion, 3D animated film at your go-to site for fictional reports on the latest movies. Image: engadget.com
Norman Babcock wrestles with a bout of 24-hour hydrophobia in ParaNorman.

Monday, August 13, 2012

Life at Disney in 1942

My wife spotted this description of old-school Mouse House animation on Cartoon Brew.  I was very much reminded of improv comedy rehearsals at the LA Connection—where art and drinking mixed and mixed well.

Image: millbitchell

Thursday, August 09, 2012

Bourne Legacy Review at F.O.G.

Tough, capable, a man alone against the nefarious CIA. Jason Bourne? Oh, goodness no. He's so yesterday's super killer. Today it's Alex Cross (Jeremy Renner) and this new Bourne again franchise isn't afraid to go for broad comic laughs as it draws upon the lush film making traditions of Ed Wood. Reading is understanding, and that requires a visit to "Reviews of Films I Have Never Seen." Go now. I envy you. Image: awardscircuit.com
Alex Cross (Jeremy Renner) learns there is no more hot cocoa in The Bourne Legacy.

Wednesday, August 08, 2012

The Bourne Legacy: Bourne to Be Wild Again

Actually, not Jason but a new lethal killing-machine running loose in the world, harvesting  slightly less-lethal CIA assassins...ah, but with a difference this time. See how director Tony Gilroy introduces a sense of humor into a character who slays more people than malaria. Go tomorrow at 1:00 PM PST to Forces of Geek and quickly read "Reviews of Films I Have Never Seen," your go-to fictional source for all the possible scoop on the latest films. Image: Pajiba.com
Aaron Cross (Jeremy Renner) displays his lighter side in comedy-thriller, The Bourne Legacy.

Thursday, August 02, 2012

Total Recall Review Up at F.O.G.

With a novel and a 1990 movie of the same name in the rear view mirror, director and screenwriters tried being too clever by half. Learn the effects of gross coyness and stealing from an old Audie Murphy movie as "Reviews of Films I Have Never Seen" dissects Len Wiseman's Total Recall. Image: geekygadgets.com
Factory worker Douglas Quaid (Colin Farrell) acquires the memories of Charles Nelson Reilly.

Wednesday, August 01, 2012

Total Recall Remake Reeks

Three jugs, no waiting as this eager lass seeks handy men.



Does this long-awaited remake stink? I have no idea, but tomorrow at Forces of Geek learn why it's best to select small portions at the filmmaker buffet. Discover the cost of 'My-Remake-Will-Be-Really-Really-Different' fever. Take part in the discussions that have made "Reviews of Films I Have Never Seen" the go-to fictional recap of Hollywood's latest  releases. Don't forget! Image: nolanfans


Mailer Gored by Cavett

Too bad they didn't give these four their own series. 

h/t: CEHitchens33