Monday, September 24, 2007

Fat Bat in the Great Northwest

Gliding through the night, we see a plump bat. My sister sent me this photo, so it could be Washington state. Wherever it is, they sure have chubby bats.

Saturday, September 22, 2007

Rain

Lots of it last night. With the Rose Bowl closed to the running public for a football game, Ernesto and I met at a park near JPL. The trails were strewn with run-off rocks and deep puddles; soil loose and damp; temperature lingering around 58. Despite more rain and wet shoes, it was great running weather.

My hip is still sore from Thursday. (I did my long run then — 13.3 miles.) Absolutely wasted; no drive; I've already peaked for Chicago. Injuries and illness have taken their toll. My goal now is to finish, hopefully under five hours. March was too early to begin training for an October event. Unlike last January when Phoenix couldn't come soon enough, I simply want this marathon to be over.

Working on the first five chapters of Dummy Fever. Frequent outlining develops the habit of telling instead of showing the action. I'm having to redevelop certain writing muscles.

Selling fever continues in a lower key. For bigger items such as DVDs, I'm checking out asking prices on eBay and craig's list. It'll give me an idea on how to price things.

Lots of change everywhere, especially under the sofa cushions.

Monday, September 17, 2007

DVDs Away!


Away, away, Casino, away Apocalypse Now, away to the web resale house! This selling of things is contagious. I've barely scratched the surface on markets for my books, CDs, and VHS tapes. Plus there's costly electronic equipment to unload. Away, away with it all!

Saturday, September 15, 2007

Cold Call

On a beautiful day for running, I set out to log 21.6 miles. Alas, I dropped out at 15. I've been fighting a cold all week and halfway up to the Elmer Smith Bridge felt woozy, ready to pass out. (Of course, having my nostrils clogged didn't help.) This would've been my last big mileage before the marathon. Maybe if I rest up and get over this bug, I'll squeeze in one more long run.

Talked to my agent re. Dummy Fever. She likes the outline and wants me to write up a few chapters. That shouldn't be too hard since the story's been marinating in my fine Irish head since May.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Selling Old Dreams

Yes, I've sold a book! In fact, I've sold four books: two on film lighting, one on fillmmaking, and one on defensive football. I also set up a consignment sale for a pair of Alesis MI Active Biamplified reference monitors — a fancy term for speakers used in sound editing. They're a leftover from the days when I had tons of money and thought I'd make my own digital films for a living. Ah, but the real gold lies in cyberspace — at least until I run out of possessions to sell.

Saturday, September 08, 2007

Game Day


Runner parking scuttled at the Rose Bowl this AM in order to make room for tailgaters. And they were there, too, in their RVs at 7:00 AM for a 3:30 PM game. (UCLA vs. BYU.)

Ernesto hurt his calf muscle Thursday and rested. So I ran 16.2 miles. Wearing my Disneyland Half Marathon tee-shirt proved a real conversation starter. It seemed half the runners I met, including non-TNT chums, had been at the race Monday and had a story to tell about the stinking heat. I mentioned seeing runners sitting down on every available curb space because it was too hot to warm up. They looked like forlorn passengers waiting for a train in Bangkok.

Took an ice bath after today's run —fifteen minutes in a cold tub with several pounds of ice cubes rattling around. Climbing out, my legs felt like frozen drumsticks. But, ah, the blood does return, speeding up the healing.

Finally got my lap top back this week. The techs weren't 100% sure what was wrong. I told them to swap out the hard drive and transfer all the data. That worked just dandy and I can now survey my dwindling fiances with the flick of a button.

Monday, September 03, 2007

Happiest Race on Earth

At least that's what it said on my finisher's medal. And what a medal! But I'm getting ahead. The Disneyland Half Marathon was the second hottest race I've ever run. (2005 Honolulu Marathon was first, but not by much.) It was muggy at 4:30 AM and only got stickier as dawn approached.

A quick digression: I believe the afterlife may well be modeled after Disneyland. They certainly know how to move large numbers of people quickly and efficiently.

Back at the race, many runners entered the spirt of the event and wore mouse ears or Minnie Mouse outfits. A lone Japanese guy wore a hat with faux flowers growing out of the crown. During the race, many runners took the opportunity to stop and have photos taken with Alice in Wonderland, the Mad Hatter, and some giant thing from Monsters. (The one that was voiced by John Goodman.)

In any case, the temperature was high enough that the park issued a red flag warning. Interesting choice on Labor Day. Apparantly, communists would shoot runners who finished ahead of anyone in a lower economic class.

Red would be followed by the most extreme temperature warning — a black flag. Not only would it be blazing hot, but anarchists would hurl bombs into the crowd as well as assassinate selected elite runners. Once the race was destabilized, they could introduce autonomous trade unions and a runners' collective, using strikes to compel the race director to step down and allow the development of spontaneous running events without formal organization.

But that would also mean no big, fat finisher medals shaped like the Magic Kingdom.

Happy Labor Day!

Saturday, September 01, 2007

Disney Half Marathon, and Risky Ventures

A day off today: from a long morning run, that is. And like most off days, filled with activity. I drove down to Anaheim early this morning and picked up my race number for Monday's Disneyland half-marathon. Then I dropped off my powerbook again to have a new hard drive installed. Gassed the car and now am preparing to write all day on Dummy Fever while awaiting word on where to meet wife and in-laws for dinner.

Ernesto is in New York for a friend's wedding. Next Saturday he'll run 12 and I'll do a mere 16.

Already a hundred degrees and it's not even noon. I'm fortunate not to be running today.

Another fortunate man was Risky Ventures. You can read about his luck at Products of a Diseased Mind. Then scroll down to absorb the cautionary tale of "Roscoe: The Sensible Sniper."

Sunday, August 26, 2007

19.3 Mile Run, Going Broke, and King Kong

19.3 was Saturday's long run. (An odd number of miles, but satisfying nonetheless.) It included three laps around the Rose Bowl (9.3 miles) and a run up to the Elmer Smith Bridge (10 miles round-trip). Ernesto ran the Elmer circuit, then met me at various scenic spots with an ice cooler. As the temperature was in the balmy 70s, I finished on pace and feeling good.

Speaking of running, I'm running out of money. While my darling wife has gotten more work, the medium-sized dollars that sustain us are drying up. Two more checks coming in, but nothing lined up after that. A tense time, but opportunities have a way of appearing. I need to avoid getting so negative and filled with self pity that I fail to see them.

Tomorrow I learn the fate of my hard drive.

Finished the second draft outline for Dummy Fever. I'll polish it up this week and send it in to my agent.

I tried watching Peter Jackson's King Kong Friday night. Beautiful CG backgrounds, nice score but the story was so overwritten, filled with bloated, easily-cut moments, that I lost all interest and turned on Modern Marvels. Of the two major remakes— Jackson's and the 1976 laugher — there was a tendency to remove "the beast" from this Beauty and the Beast tale. The original Kong had sympathetic moments, but also killed people in horrible, unprovoked ways. You never forgot he was a big animal. Plus the 1933 film moved like lighting. Once Fay Wray was kidnapped, the story hit the gas and never slowed 'til "twas beauty killed the beast."

Thus endth my thoughts on giant monkey movies.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Computer Woes and Track Practice

Tapping away, transcribing Dummy Fever into a back-up computer, rewriting as I go. My powerbook lanquishes in tech hosptial with no word due until Monday. Mostly, I'm concerned with losing financial data. As it is, I'm reconciling bank statements the old-fashioned way — by hand and math. It's like having to suddenly use a typewriter or an analog phone. (The kind with a dial like you see in movies.)

Ran 800 meter repeats last night at the La Crescenta high school track. Football practice occupied the field for most of my workout and I had to slow at times to avoid getting thumped with a field goal try. (Ah, it all brought back fond memories of hot August days with a hoarse coach hollering at me to stay low on tackles.)

Each track seems to have its own evening rhythm. In La Cresecenta, it's the Grand Promenade. As the sun dipped behind the Verdugo Hills and the football team headed off to shower, couples and kids and families and groups arrived to walk around the track.

Strollers clearly outnumbered runners. I had to dodge and weave quite a bit. For some reason, I was reminded of the scene from Midnight Express where Brad Davis winds up in a Turkish madhouse. Inmates are made to walk in a circle all day. At one point, he turns and walks against the grain, upsetting his fellow mad, who grab and clutch at him. For a fleeting moment, I thought that might happen to me.

Still, the run was good training for a crowded race like Chicago.



Or a Turkish madhouse.

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Sixteen & Change

A ragged run in the hot sun. My alliteration hasn't suffered, just my pacing. Very uneven. Afterwards, my car battery died, but Ernesto gave me a jump.

Computer remains in a state of crash. All my email addresses are stuck inside. I backed up most of my writing, but several newer projects weren't archived.

Unexpected expenses over the last two months: garage door, car, plumbing, computer, car. Oh, and I just discovered a leak in the shower.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

AM Run, Writing Notes, Computer Mort

Early morning is a far better time to run in a 95 degree heat-wave. Worked in some tempo miles at 6:30 AM and had the best run in several months. Crossed paths with Katie McCollum, yet another former TNT coach. Apparently all the fashionable people finish their runs before 8 AM. :-)

Good feedback at writer's group today. Bernadette, my instructor, had a few solid ideas for my protagonist. In general, I'm working better with characters. Actually got some good ideas from reading a Harry Potter book. Rowling does a deft job describing teenagers embarrassing themselves — an activity I needed for "Dummy Fever."

Dutton passed on my other young adult novel, "The Whompago." (I've changed the title to the slightly less cryptic, "The Shifting.") I should withdraw the outline from consideration with Simon and Shuster and deepen the characters. What the heck?

I'm writing this at the Apple computer repair store, surrounded by really cool expensive stuff. But yesterday my hard drive crashed like a holiday drunk and I really need to retrieve a bunch of stuff. Hopefully, that will happen as I finish this post.

Sunday, August 12, 2007

Dummy Down!

Just completed draft one of a book outline for Dummy Fever, a young adult novel about a loner kid who learns to appreciate others. This makes the third novel I've outlined since last June. (Horror novel, Apple Dan, and young adult novel, The Shifting). Plus I'm beginning the outline on a sci-fi detective story called The Toy Man.

I'm getting really good at outlining. Could be, maybe, time to write one.

Fourteen Hot Miles


Yesterday was my longest run since the Phoenix Marathon. Ernesto and I met at 7:30 AM with the sun faint behind a marine layer. That didn't last long as the temperature rose like coals on a Webber Grill. As Ernesto only ran six, he met me at various points along my route with a cooler. I was able to replenish my water and dump ice onto the back of my head.

Felt sluggish and slow; really had to push myself to keep going. Time goals were way off. But I'm running Chicago anyway.

A defiant 'ha!'

Monday, August 06, 2007

Long Runs and a Salute to Kate Martini

14, 16, 18. Those are my long runs for the next three weeks. I see soreness in my future.

Congratulations to Kate Martini, one of my TNT coaches from last season. She completed the Vineman full triathalon last Saturday. That's a 2.4-mile swim, a 112-mile bike ride and a 26.2-mile marathon that Kate nailed in 13 hours, 49 minutes and 39 seconds. A rich full Saturday by anyone's account.

An impressive accomplishment when you consider Kate works full-time, has a part-time job, and continues run coaching for the San Gabriel Valley Team in Training. Kate committed to this triathalon last January, hired a trainer, and locked in on her goal. I think she also bought a time-stretcher over the Internet, but I don't have any more details.

And now . . . Kate Martini is an Ironman.

Saturday, August 04, 2007

Ed, Edd, Eddy and Hezekiah


WARNING! SPOILERS! In animation news, those goofball brothers are rumored to have their own feature in the works. Insiders say the Eds will team up with a Judean king to outwit the Assyrian Empire. The story is said to include a scene where the brothers trade bossy Sarah to Assyrian potentate Sennacherib for some jawbreakers. But Sarah never warms to life in the capital of Assur and throws one tantrum too many. A weary Sennacherib orders her sealed in a lead drum and rolled into the Tigris. Meanwhile, the brothers bumble their way through plagues, massacres, and the rout of a mighty host. We'll have to see how this plays out with audiences.

Thursday, August 02, 2007

SpongeBob Spared by Frustrated Jihadis!

A recent AP story reported SpongeBob SquarePants was captured by radical Islamists. They attempted to behead him, but couldn't find his neck. A quick search of the Quran revealed zip about the ritual slaying of a talking sponge. After much bitter grumbling, SpongeBob was released.

However Patrick has been reported missing.

Saturday, July 28, 2007

Toasty Saturday Run

Very stiff from Friday's drive to San Diego. I should've stretched out last night but was too beat. Ran 12 miles today and felt sluggish and slow. The heat didn't help. I brought water, Gatorade, and salt tablets and used them all. Coach Jimmy ran with me the last two miles, pointing out that my rapid breathing was the result of CO2 clogging up the lungs and that I needed to strike a rhythm and exhale. I thought my rapid breathing was from running with a really fast, 30-year-old guy with no body fat. Nevertheless, I tried and found my heart rate slowing down as I huffed out bad air.

Ernesto did 8 miles today. A saintly man, he finished first then went out and bought ice cold Gatorade and water. I slugged down the whole bottle of Gatorade. We went out for breakfast and I gulped down water. Came home and had more water, another salt tablet and a very cold shower.

I don't think we'll barbecue tonight.

Comicon

I've been. I've seen the spatially-challenged walking around dressed as Klingons. Bless them, it beats drug addiction. Yesterday, I was a few blocks away at a party my agency throws. Ran into Paul Rugg, who was doing a presentation at Comicon with the Hensen Company. Also saw Rich Fogel, a former Batman writer. Rich mentioned ex-Bat producer/story editor Paul Dini had a panal and said nice things about Rugg, myself and Freakazoid. Hard to believe ten years ago we were down at Comicon doing a panal for the guy with lightning in his hair.

Zup! Another decade gone.

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Run to the Elmer Smith Bridge

Like the fabled Alaskan "Bridge to Nowhere," the Elmer Smith Bridge spans a rocky draw in the Angeles National Forest. The bridge is closed, fenced off; stopping one from crossing over into what-appears-to-be dense brush. But Elmer sits exactly 5 miles from my start line at the Rose Bowl: turn-around point for a ten-mile run. There is a metal sign that is no longer readable. But in TNT we would ritually slap this sign as we headed back down the hills. Three months have passed since my last Elmer and I was delighted to once again slap the sign.

Finished much better this week. Drank lots of water yesterday, started earlier and slower, then closed strong on the last two miles. Iced my calves all week and will do the same this week. That helped relieve soreness. My endurance slowly rebuilds.

Ernesto was supposed to meet me but bagged due to a crushing hangover. He was caught last night in a Happy Hour Trap where you stop for one after work and wake up the next morning on the hood of a car in another state.

But we'll try again next week.

Friday, July 20, 2007

Thoughts on Writing and Success

After a wonderful five months of paying work, I'm wrapping up the last script. Now comes the furious grind of unemployment. Lots of material to prepare and pitch. But that's only if I want more work. A few years back, I'd stashed so much dough from previous gigs that unemployment took on a holiday-like quality. Now I've burned through that cash and must hustle.

I never prepared for success. Things sort of fell in my lap. I prepared to be a writer, but not how to handle money and opportunity. Living with failure was much more straightforward: just keep swinging. But success required planning and goals, things I'd never developed outside of escaping the immediate trouble that non-planning put me in.

Now my goal is transitioning from writing TV animation to books. That's a lot of effort while continuing to pay bills. But goals have stages, something I've learned from marathons. And I'm moving slowly toward mine.

Of course, I wouldn't mind a big pile of success falling in my lap again. But I got a feeling it won't happen again. I already know how to catch. Now I must learn how to reach.

Sunday, July 15, 2007

Social Rose Bowl Running

Yesterday at the Rose Bowl, Ernesto and I walked for a few minutes prior to our run. We ran into former TNT mentor Felipe. He'd bought a new Prius and we checked it out. Then current TNT captain Rouman ran past. He stopped to say 'hi.' We were about to return to our warm-up when Coach Katie ran over followed by TNT alums SJ and Raul who had just finished running in the hills.

Having warmed-up physically and socially, we finally set out. Ernesto ran six and I ran eight miles. Blazing hot. A stretch of trail above the Rose Bowl near JPL labs is particularly wicked: shade-free, sun-cooked chapparrel. My finishing time was a few minutes off. Calves were sore, indicating that my endurance needs work. I'll set a slower pace next week.

In-laws were down from the Bay area, staying with us over the week-end. Great house guests. They arose early each day, went about their engagements, returned late and quietly went to bed in the guest room. We finally all met up for breakfast this morning. Now they're driving home while my wife and I are bound for various work-related projects on this sunny July Sunday.

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Book Outline and Pre-Chicago Marathon

Back to book outling. Every spare piece of wall in my office is covered with 3x5 cards for novel-to-be "Dummy Fever." I also looked over an outline I finished last year. The story still stands up. I think I'll retitle the tale and send it out to a a few publishers.

Countdown to Chicago has begun. Thirteen weeks to get ready. Ran on a local high school track this morning - 400 meter repeats. First time there. Apparantly 7:00 AM is the cut-off point for unimpeded running. After that, the lanes filled up with mostly people walking. At least there were no strollers, cyclists, roller bladers or dogs on 70-foot leashes.

Or perhaps I left too early?

Sunday, July 08, 2007

Garage Door Down

Hit my garage door opener on Saturday on the way out for my run. Wham! The spring broke and the double-wide metal door crashed down like a huge mouse trap — luckily harming nothing, not even itself. I got two new door springs later in the day and now everything works great.

I just didn't have it in me to blog about running or writing.

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

July 4 5K

Broiling heat up in Santa Clarita, as I waited to implement Step 2 . A light warm-up before the race left me dripping sweat. Felt a bit nervous as I'd only run once without walk breaks and didn't want to reinjury myself.

Gun sounded and off we went. The 5K followed a very festive, patriotic course along streets decked out with American flags for a parade later that morning. I latched on to several runners who looked more out-of-shape than I and let them pace me. They ran the first mile in 7:58. I slowed down and then hung on to finish in 25.04. This is a contemporary PR, a hair better than the 5K I ran in March .

Today's result was most gratifying since I've only been running again less than a month with zero speed work. Losing weight helped. (Since I committed two months ago, I'm down to 207) And a fairly flat course didn't hurt either.

A bit o' barbecue today with my darling wife, in-between working on a script.

A jolly 4th of July to all!

Friday, June 29, 2007

A Grand Fine Meeting

Had a wonderful pitch yesterday. I told my story of a young teen saddled with tiny but pushy alien cops and a ventriloquist dummy as he's drawn into the pursuit of an intergalactic super villain hiding out in his school. The execs. enjoyed it and laughed, but probably won't buy a script for sundry production reasons.

From a morale standpoint, the pitch was a huge lift. So much of work lately consists of writing scripts and outlines then enduring pages of exacting criticism. Or pitching material that's picked apart in the room. ( Yesterday's second pitch excepted.) It was a relief to simply tell a story that the listerners liked.

I guess it felt like the good old days of improv comedy: immediate feedback, no waiting.

We may shop my story, "Dummy Fever," to one more studio, then it's off to book outline land.

But I sure had a good time.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Pitched Out

Met with production company execs and others at a fancy restaurant to plot strategy. With back-to-back meetings at different studios, it was decided I would mostly do the talking. As it turned out, everyone chimed in, with our star/creator helping the most.

The first meeting was like pitching a funny idea to Stonehenge. The guy clearly wasn't in the mood. We left the room with advanced cases of frostbite.

The second meeting at another studio was a festive treat, with laughter and encouragement from delighted execs. We still have one more pitch on this project but it won't be for another month.

It was like spending several hours on stage. Afterwards, I felt drained. I sat in my car and slugged down a 16 oz. water.

I have one more pitch tomorrow on a live-action film idea ; a half-hour animated script to write today; plus two more animated TV projects to ready for the coming weeks so I can sell again.

I can't look at the results. The action of pitching often begats work from the most unexpected quarters.

So onward I go.

Sunday, June 24, 2007

Chi Town Marathon Plans

Former TNT mates Ernesto and Nick ran 4 miles with me yesterday. Very leisurely pace. Nick's running the Portland Marathon on October 7. (Same day as Chicago.) Ernesto is thinking of joining him. Hopefully, we'll be able to meet for training runs.

As I mentioned , marathon time will be based on my results for this upcoming 5K . There's really no pressure to hammer out great splits. (The injury has mellowed me a bit.) If I don't break 4 hours in Chicago , I'll at least complete the race I shined on 30 years ago.

Big sales meetings next Tuesday and Thursday for two seperate projects. Going over the Tuesday material today. I'm fired up and wish the meeting were tomorrow morning.

And now from Spain: midgit bullfighting!

Friday, June 22, 2007

Running, TV Animation Pitches, and Leukemia

Runs are short with lots of walk breaks. I stretch and ice the tear area. I've signed up for a 5K and will test out my recovery in two weeks.

My big pitch went well. Next week is stuffed with sales meetings.

Peter, an old Animaniacs' chum, recently learned his wife has a form of leukemia. She's facing chemo and a bone marrow transplant. Send your best wishes and prayers. For updates, check out Rosina's Road Trip.

And now back to being busy me.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Return to Running

Another summer, another return to running from injury.

Ran two miles around the Rose Bowl today, walking two minutes for every minute run. I've recently walked the same distance faster, but today was more about easing back in. I'll see how my leg feels tonight and tomorrow morning.

A brace of big pitches coming up in the next two weeks: an animated TV series and a live-action film involving aliens and ventriloquism. Not a lot of those on the market today.

Friday, June 08, 2007

5K

Not a race but 5,000 visits to this here site.

There are bloggers I know who pass that milestone every few weeks.

But I prefer a select, discriminating audience.

Thursday, June 07, 2007

Big Top Wisdom

Hard-earned circus lore from a hard-drinking clown, courtesy of Dutch .

Sage observations include:

"A smart lion-tamer never drinks around the big cats."

"Before a bow, always remove the sword you just swallowed."

"If you wake up behind the elephant cage on something soft, it probably isn't a pile of feathers."

Saturday, June 02, 2007

Stay Classy, Team!

Chicago Marathon Training Plan

A pleasant morning for a walk around the Rose Bowl. No pain in my calf as I gradually strengthen the muscle. (Last week's brief run was too much, too soon and my calf ached for a few days.) In any case, here's my latest training plan - crafted while I should've been writing:

1. June 12: Begin EZ runs, low mileage, no speed. Gradually work up to a long run of 6 miles.

2. July 4: Run a 5K. My time will determine paces for various training runs as well as my marathon finishing time.

3. July 9: Commence training again for Chicago. I'll have 13 weeks. My training schedule will be a combination of the FIRST program - speed and tempo runs - plus Jeff Galloway walk breaks such as TNT uses on long runs.

4. Sept. 3: Run the Disneyland Half-Marathon for the important reason that I signed up for it months ago.

5. Oct. 7: Complete the Chicago Marathon for the even more important reason that I signed up for it in January, booked a hotel room, and purchased airline tickets for my fine wife and I.

They say those who don't learn from history are condemned to repeat it. I don't think that applies to sports. Or maybe it doesn't apply to me and sports. Each injury I've sustained has been chronicled in my training log. Reading back, I note all the warning signs of overtraining: soreness, lack of motivation, poor sleep. And yet I pressed on, believing that backing off would cost me valuable training time. Of course, once I received my nice new injury, the whole "backing off" position was rendered moot. I guess it'll be different next time if I wish it to be.

My weight drops gradually. I hover around the 215 mark. My goal is still to reach 195 by October. I've mostly been eating smaller portions and cutting out large, sausage & pepperoni pizzas when depressed. Or not depressed. Just don't eat the whole thing at one sitting.

Sunday, May 27, 2007

Runlet

Walked around the Rose Bowl yesterday morning. A new TNT squad was running their first 3-mile assesment. They'll be training for events such as the October Long Beach Marathon.

No pain in my calf so I ran a bit on the last mile. (Very sore later on.) Encountered Coach Katie, Jimmy, and lots of Team in Training alums from my various seasons.

Also spotted actor Bruce Dern zipping along. He'd been featured recently in "Runner's World": a marathoner back before it was cool. He moved at a pretty good pace for a guy in his 70s.

Finished notes on a script and now begin work on ideas for a new animated series looking for story editors.

A pleasant Memorial Day to all.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Value Added


As I'm still not running and very busy with animation writing, as well as not having any more real murders to report, here's a brief passage from my friend's crime novel, "The Value of Nothing." (Abridged)

Boston 1979
(Loser Davey has just witnessed a bloody shoot-out between Boston PD and four radical bank robbers. [Final talley: 4- 2 in favor of the PD] A sexy, amoral bank teller who survived the carnage decides she needs to forget the day. As all the police have left and the coroners are ugly, Davey appears the most attractive nearby male.)

“Excuse me,” she said.
Davey was tongue-tied. Watching a ferocious gun fight and talking to a dream girl on the same day were overloading his circuitry.
" I don’t think I should be alone,” she hinted broadly, then added, "I've had an emotionally devastating morning."
“Are you a student?” he blurted.
“Sometimes. I work at Filenes’s. But I’m off tonight and my roommate’s away, would you mind taking me home?”
Nothing in Davey’s life had prepared him for this. He'd never, ever, expected to hear those words uttered in that sequence from a hot-looking girl. Of course he’d heard each word individually, and in various combinations, but in that order, and spoken to him, never. They went through his head like melodious gibberish. When her silence advised him it was his turn to speak, all he could do was point at the envelope in her hand.
“What's in there?”
“Nothing. Just some money from the bank. They won’t miss it. The insurance auditors will assume the robbers took it.”
You just can’t beat a practical New England girl when it comes to turning personal catastrophe into a financial windfall.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Spin Class

In a normal spin workout, you ride exercise bikes. On the bikes are knobs that control resistance. An instructor will have you vary the resistance. They pedal along with the class, wearing mikes in order to be heard over the thumping of uptempo songs that mimic your jacked-up heart rate. (Instructors make their own CDs.) In general, spin classes are fast-paced, hour-long sweatfests.

Except at my gym on Monday mornings.

This was my first time at this particular class. A fit-looking, hot instructor —let's call her "Gwen"— showed up late. Not only was Gwen time-challenged, but she was out-of-shape. It seems strange to even write that. But this chick was gassed.

Ten minutes into the workout, Gwen stopped calling resistance and started wheezing into the microphone like an asthama patient being chased by a bear. Her pedaling slowed to ceremonial and she didn't speak for the next 20 minutes. In the meantime, Gwen's playlist also slowed as if crafted with naps in mind. (Artists included workout gut-busters Gary Puckett and the Union Gap.)

At the end of class, Gwen explained it was all part of a master exercise plan. The easier workouts were to be "balanced" by later harder workouts.

Spin, indeed.

Saturday, May 19, 2007

"The Value of Nothing"

does not refer to story notes from animation executives. It's the title of a hard-boiled crime novel written by my friend, the Dutchman. He's rewriting like mad and just sent me some pages. I've copied his email below:

John,

Attached find one chapter of "The Value of Nothing."
Below are pre-publication reviews:

"Like Huck Finn except without the river, Jim or that annoying kid..."
— NY Review of Books

"Like all great literature, nearly incomprehensible..."
— Joyce James, White Pages

"I read it. I shot myself."
— E. Hemingway

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