Tuesday, May 01, 2012

The Dutchman Recalls Riots

The Dutchman weighs in on my riot post.

"Ah, the good times. Of course when I recall those halcyon days of yore and irony, I am reminded of my foolish choices as well. The .22 noise maker had been a gift to my ex-girlfriend/fiancĂ©, who lived in a Silverlake adjacent neighborhood. A porn actress, nude model and gifted fine artist, I have always been attracted to women with interesting backgrounds, diverse experiences and daddy issues. She owned a Papillion that craped everywhere, all the time, except during their frequent walks through their gang infested community. I figured it would be convenient to carry in her purse and its characteristic crack when fired would alert the locals to canvas the area for her body. Eventually we broke up mostly over 2nd amendment issues and some interests of mine she couldn’t bring herself to participate in. She said they were humiliating, unimaginative, not nearly degrading enough and hard on her leather-restraint budget.

At the time of the riots I was married to a depressive Australian, so I kept all my firearms nearby in a customized rig I could throw on if I was going out alone. No need to tempt the Gods if things went badly during an Ashes test match or the America’s Cup. The nine was based on the recommendation of some LAPD officers I made the acquaintance of. They spoke highly of the seventeen round clips and ease of re-loading, so I made my purchase. That is why, in the ignorance of my youth, I was decked out in such an outlandish selection of weapons.

Today, I favor 12’s for close up work and long guns for when I want to reach out and touch someone. As I have matured I have embraced Chaos theory which my neighbors and other potential opponents believe is that the future is not predictable but determined by initial conditions. I of course believe outcomes are determined by a super-secret organization run by Bernie Kopell."

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