My Java with Madeleine

Met Madeleine from Vasteras, Sweden for the second time. We had coffee in Sherman Oaks and discussed animation, travel and the Kroner. At first, our talk was pleasant, but I made a serious social blunder by mentioning the 1709 Battle of Poltava and the rout of Swedish forces by the Russians under Peter the I. Madeleine took offense at my comments on Swedish sovereign Charles XII. With growing passion, she argued that Charles' heavily outnumbered army pressed the action for most of the fight, finally drowning in a sea of Russian infantry. Delicately, I mentioned that Peter had trained up his army and they were no longer an ill-organized rabble, though some problems persisted. (Peter had difficulty getting the Russians to fire their muskets at the Swedes and not at the clouds which his peasant troops mistook for billowy fiends sent by the Devil to eat them. This was a problem common to northern European armies of the day.) In any case, Madeline slammed down her latte and stormed off after I mentioned the five-year exile of Charles XII in Moldavia following his defeat. So matters between us ended sharply. I hope Madeleine has a safe trip home. If anyone else is meeting her in Southern California, please let sleeping dogs - or exiled Swedish kings - lie. That would be best, I should think, for all concerned.